Why do Skinny People hate Fat People?

we all have our struggles. just because they are skinny doesn't mean they are healthy or active or even happy. seems you are passing judgment as well and it's a vicious circle.

I agree with Cher. Not all thin people behave that way. Judgmental people come in all shapes, sizes, ages, religions and colors. The only way to handle it is to ignore it. As hard as that may be sometimes, it's all you can do. Be happy with who you are.

It maybe is true that some "skinny" people may look down on you or treat you bad, but I don't think they would treat you different if you were one of them. Some people may not like you as a person, no matter how nice you think you are.
I used to be really fat since I was a child, and sometimes I would think that way too. Ever since I worked really hard and lost all the extra weight with 3 years of really hard work, I realized that being "skinny" does not make you happy or successful on its own and it does not affect your social life as much as you think it will.
I don't think that if someone treats you nice when the weight is off you will feel better, I think you will realize that this person is superficial and you don't want him/her around you anyway!
But, unless you have a medical condition that really messes with your ability to be fit, you should never use terms like "the fat gene" because it's the first thing a fat person will say while eating their way through a pack of oreos. I don't mean to sound rude of judgmental, I just think that the moment you will want to lose weight for your own good (and not for getting approval by "skinny" people) is the moment you will start achieving it. And even if you never lose the weight, just start making healthier choices and stop hating your mirror image because it has been proven that popular people are not all "skinny" and beautiful, but they are all self-confident.

Get over yourself. I'm skinny and married to a plus sized gal.

I don't have any problem with "fat" people. I have a problem with people who are fat AND sedentary, and like being that way. That makes me sick.

Invite people you would like to get to know better to YOUR home. This isn't the skinny/fat dilemma, but I used to live in the "perfect" neighborhood - safe, great schools, parks, etc. The only problem was I the only single mom. I believed I was being judged and excluded because I didn't have a husband and my house was far more modest in size. I had it in my head that I wasn't invited to dinner parties and such because they had beautiful homes and perfect marriages. My mom had heard enough of my complaints and said, "get over yourself...ask them to your blankety-blank house!" I did and they came over...and it was really fun! That was fifteen years ago and countless dinner parties, baby showers, vacations, and weddings ago and these wonderful women are still my friends.

It truly sounds to me like you self esteem that is the problem in this situation. If it isn't you would have just invited those women over to your house, instead of waiting for them. And the comment about your attempts on your life because, and your use of the terms "the fat gene" and "you skinny people", make it seem like you are placing the blame of your unhappiness and weight on everwhere but on youself. You need to be the change you wish to see in the world.

I do agree with Barry on the overweight/lazy combo, but I understand that you can't lump every fat person into that category.

Anyway, I've come across some beautiful fat people I admire because of their confidence, personality and style - some of them dress sharp! Me? I'm corny, no style. Need to get some quick.

Here is the truth:

Society associate being fat with a multitude of other attributes, such as laziness, unathletic, lack of discipline, lack of education, sloth and so on.

Being seen socializing with such an individual would lower the value of the person and because of that it's only natural that they avoid contact.

I agree with Vicki. I can't abide the talk about "you skinny people". I'm a "skinny person" now, but until 2 years ago I weighed over 240 lbs (and I'm only 5'4"). I was seriously obese and I had LOTS of "skinny" friends. I have friends now who are as overweight as I was at my heaviest or more.

Whenever someone who is really overweight starts talking about how "no one who is skinny will talk to me", then I have to believe that this is THEIR problem and not the problem of those who weigh less. What are you doing or saying that is offputting to others? If you are truly honest with yourself, you'll probably find that your attitude has a lot to do with whether or not people talk to you or invite you to their homes or otherwise interact with you socially.

Finally as for your comment that you didn't "choose to be fat" ... I don't buy that either. Ultimately, unless you suffer a true medical condition that causes you to be obese (very rare) you ARE choosing to be fat. I CHOSE to be fat when I was fat - maybe not consciously, but by not eating healthily, by not exercising, by not taking responsibility for my weight.

Sounds to me like you need to spend some time taking responsibility for yourself instead of pushing it off on to everyone else and blaming others for how you feel.

My MIL weighs over 300 lbs, yet has more friends than anyone I know. She's very friendly and outgoing and people like her. Her weight doesn't seem to matter to anyone.

I'm fat and I have lots of skinny/fit/athletic friends. We don't have the same active pursuits. But we play poker or video games or go to movies or ride our motorcycles or whatever. You can't make broad generalizations about skinny people. That's just as wrong as making generalizations about fat people. Be nice to skinny people, after all, they're in the minority (or soon will be).

I tend to gravitate towards bigger people myself. I've noticed there are the really fun and nice ones and ones who are much more reserved. (I just realised after typing that that this description applies to both fat and thin people. Duh.) I think you should probably examine your own personality. I'm thin but I've never been a social person and is always the outsider. I've accepted myself the way I am.

But if you don't want to accept being the quiet person at the fringe of the group, you'll have to work hard to change. Your personality, not just your weight. It's something I chose not to do but that doesn't mean you can't do it.

I'll agree, I'd have to say (just the way I'm reading what you've written) that you're looking for a reason other than your personality or your method of personal interaction as a reason for why you don't have as many friends as you wish you did. You can spin things in many directions.

I've been overweight/right at the medical definition for obesity and I've also been at the point where they start to think about diagnosing you with anorexia, about a 70 pound difference. I had about as many friends or fewer when I was that skinny as when I was overweight. And they were all the same sorts of people. If you have friends who will refuse to associate with you because of how much you weigh, are those really the sorts of friends you want to have?

I have to agree with a lot of the people above. How we think & talk about ourselves can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe in your mind, those people dislike you or don't want to get to know you. I used to do this when I was younger.. assuming what people are saying about me. I think like others said, you need to make the step to talk to them or invite them over.

Also, although there can be medical reasons why a person can't lose weight, if that is not the case, you can do it if you want it. Yes, there are people that gain weight easier. Yes, there are people that can eat anything they want & never gain a pound. I had them as friends & I was the one that was always battling my weight. Just looking at food put pounds on me. I was always the heavy one. BUT, at some point, if you want to lose the weight, you take responsibility for it & do it. Yes, I now have all those shrunken fat cells just ready to take food in & grow again but I am not letting them.

SO, unless you have medical issues, you can lose weight. Yes, it may be harder for you but you can do it. I have always had to work harder than a lot of others to meet my goals but I still do it. It is important to me.

Try reaching out to others rather than judging them too without knowing whether they are thinking what you have put on them.

I am just getting over a gastric bypass. I had it almost ayear ago and have lost over 100 lbs. I am a size 12 and used to be a 28. Please take it from me, I understand what you are saying and now that I am smaller I agree that there are people out there who are cruel. I, like you,did my hair at the most expensive place, had my nails done and shopped at the finest plus size stores. I also met a wonderful man who loved me at 280lbs and said to do what I wanted about my weight. You too can enjoy this loving treatment. It is a matter of who you choose to associate with. Why on earth would you allow others to make you feel unworthy???? Noone can make you feel any way. You do it to yourself. Cheer up. Being overweight does suck....be positive. Fix yourself because you can not fix other people and their crummy attitudes... fat people or thin ones

There have been some great comments on this topic...I'll toss my 2 cents in as well. I also used to be fat and now I'm one of the "skinny people". I don't think I noticed a difference in how people treated me, but I did become a lot more outgoing when I lost weight, especially around guys. I would have probably met just as many guys when I was fatter if I had just been myself around them and not worry so much about them thinking I was fat. I actually had lots of "guy friends" that I never thought about romantically because I figured they'd never in a million years be attracted to me.

Like others have said, it's mostly YOU that has to change. People respond to their environments. If you want people to come over to your house, invite THEM over. I'm sure that lots of people probably feel the same way you do...no one wants them over, poor me, etc. Someone has to make the first move, so why not have that person be you?

hmmm... are you positive that people are avoiding you/hating on you because you are overweight? Often people (myself included) make assumptions about being hated on, blaming it on something we cannot really control at the time. "She hates me because I'm Asian." "They didn't invite me because I'm fat." "He doesn't like me because I'm better looking than him." Don't look at the situation as the victim, but rather look at situations like this as an opportunity. Invite people to your home, strike up conversation yourself.

Why do skinny people hate fat people? Why are red cars faster than blue cars? Why do boys hate girls? Why are brunettes smarter than blondes?

What kind of a question is this, anyway? It's based on a false assumption, and one that may not have anything at all to do with the real problem (why people seem to ostracize you). How do you know you're being excluded because of your weight? Aside from grade-school bullies and a few insensitive adults (who are usually trying to be funny rather than insulting) my experience has been that the way most people treat me has much more to do with who I am than the way I look (and no, I'm not "skinny"). But sure, there *are* shallow people in the world, so maybe you should quit worrying about the "beautiful" people, seek out some new friends who will accept you for who you are... or move south, because southerners are nicer than northerners.

You presumptuous, shallow excuses for human beings. Why should the overweight person have to do all the ice-breaking and prompt the invitations to their homes? In this shitty, unfriendly world that we all live in; In this money hungry, don't smile, don't be friendly to anyone because it means that you are weak society that we have formed, is it too much to ask that a friendly glance be cast in your direction if you happen to be a few pounds heavy?

How come the fit folks can't prompt an invitation? How come the "fat" person has to be the one with all the personal issues? It's so easy to blame the people that aren't fortunate enough to be born with a healthy metabolism, or bad skin, or big ears, or heaven forbid, crooked teeth, that it is THEIR fault for the haranguing that they are certain to receive in our screwed up society.

Hey, I have a novel idea - Instead of judging one another's weaknesses, and blaming everyone who has an honest complaint about a problem that needs to be fixed - Why don't we ALL try to respect one another even with all the imperfections and weaknesses that we may have acquired during our sad lives?

Instead of casting out an imperfect person, let's all work together to make this planet a happier healthier place.

I would not describe myself as skinny, but fit, absolutely. I run, I go to yoga regularly, I eat healthy, and I work hard to stay fit.
Do I hate "fat" people? Absolutely not! I don't think I HATE anyone for the way they look. I am always willing to help friends, or others who are looking for health advice or even personal training. I love working with people to get in shape and I understand that everyone has their own battle with their diet and their bodies. No one is perfect.
We all have our flaws whether fat or skinny. I'm fit but I still hate my thighs. I've got a pretty decent body but I still hate my temper. I've got great abs but I'm still pretty bad at public speaking...

You know what I mean?

There is, without question, bigotry when it comes to obesity. For one, there's almost a blanket assumption that the fat person is as dumb as she/he is fat.
I've been fat and I've been fit...fit is better for practical reasons: it's easier to move around the planet, carry groceries, walk miles.
But one doesn't need to suffer: simply focus on self esteem, spirituality, others.
And, if one wants to get healthier, there are free programs like OA...But, like my best friend, who is in a wheelchair, life goes on....and being fat is one of those things that we deal w/when so moved, if so moved.
Hugs from Merida, Yucatan where the round body is appreciated and looked at with appreciation. Dig it.

I have many friends that are different sizes than I am - plus & minus. I look for someone that is a giving & loving person and is fun to be around. I have been heavy and am about in the middle now. I found that my attitude hindered making friends no matter what size. One thing that REALLY helped me was attending Klemmer & Associates. Helped open my eyes. blessings, aL

Ive read through everyones responses and they all seem to be correct. I just want to say I have a chubby hubby and I am not fat or skinny. Ive always been average and never judged people by how they looked. In fact , the "fat and ugly" friends I had were the number one truest and nicest I prefer them over "attractive" people who are pompous, arrogant, dumb and manipulative. *HMPH*

Have you ever thought that maybe they look at you the way that you look at them? Open yourself up to them and they'll open up to you. If you go into a situation expecting to be treated a certain way, then you probably will.

I'm a "skinny" person--albeit pregnant right now--who used to be fat, and who does carry the "fat gene"--both of my parents are overweight, and all 3 of my siblings are obese. I overcame it and it wasn't always easy. So don't assume that none of us can possibly understand or that we all "hate" fat people. I know that as a heavy person, there are times you are judged unfairly, but watch that you aren't doing the same thing.

Wow Chris. Got some issues, don't you?

You sound like you had your fair share of rejection. You say you will be quick to explain that you do not like being the size you are and that you keep doing something about it. I wonder whether you may be saying that a bit too often and come over as being overly apologetic. It often makes people look like they do not like who they are.

Who says that it`s your weight that makes them not invite you? Show that you are comfortable in yur skin and people will be naturally attracted to you!

HEY KARA - My "issues" not withstanding - Am I wrong?

it sounds like you might need some professional counseling with the ending your life comment. you are stating that people dont like you because you are fat and blame your genes. "beautiful" people avoid you because you have a lousy attitude. to use the fact you dont smell bad as an attribute is nuts. you sound clinically depressed! if you hate yourself fat odds are skinny wont help matters. you will just find another issue. get help!!!

I must say, many small people have the same struggles as larger ones. Many of my friends are large women. I just happen to be 5'0" and 145 pounds. That makes me overweight, and borderline obese for my hight. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. My weight fluctuates between 125-155 within the course of a year. I love food. Whenever I complain about my weight, my friends roll their eyes at me like "whatever". I can totally relate to large people, because to me, I am in the same category. I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror, cause all I see is a piglet!! I envy my skinny friends, and feel close to my large friends. You don't have to be 350 lbs to feel terrible about your appearance.

I would rather have 1 fat friend who has a great personality, than 10 skinny bitchy friends. I spend far more time with my fat friend, who calls me her little friend, than I do my skinny bitchy friends.

Dear Lemontree; I have been treated for clinical depression and I see some of the same parallels in your present psychological mindset. I must agree with Lynn and I must plead with you that you make an appointment with a mental health professional. As fragile as you seem to be at the present will make it impossible for you to be able to nurture and to give support to youself, and only then will you have the psychic strength to begin and commit to your goals, and to appreciate who you really are- interesting, unique and yes, beautiful. Don't try to take this on by yourself.

Fat gene or not, the only thing that makes me look down on fat people is when I see them stuffing their mouths with junk. I don't give a damn if it's your weekly treat, if you're obese you should treat junk food as poison, period.

Chubby is one thing, but there is simply no excuse these days for being morbidly obese. It simply means you have let your indulgence go unchecked, genetic predisposition or not. And why should lazy people get any respect from those of us who work to stay healthy?

Wow, Damon233, aren't you a hunk of heaven. Why should mean as*hats get any respect from those of us who learned compassion and empathy?

There is stigma against obesity. All this talk about her having to make the effort-not completely invalid, but hard to do if depressed, and I've been 50 pounds heavier than I am now, people were definitely more likely to ignore me, not be interested in even casual conversation, etc. The fatter you are, the more invisible you become.

Lemontree40,
I know where you are coming from in regards to a specific neighbor. I am Plus Size as is another friend that lives in this neighborhood. My friends' next door neighbor is a "skinny mini" that delights in "oinking" at us, calling us "hippos", "rhinos", etc. It has been difficult to experience (it's interesting that you mention church - Mini and I used to go to the same church where she spread nasty lies about me; I stopped attending that church - I now wish that I hadn't because it wasn't like it was HER church - spilt milk now). I can't make this woman do anything and her actions are her problem. I am responsible for myself. What I am doing is working on me - I am changing my diet to be more healthy, I walk at least 2 miles every day, I keep up on my manicures and pedicures, I have my hair done, etc. Focus on you - fat gene or not. Make yourself the best person you can be - while walking think of all the things in your life you are grateful for. Think positively! You can be as wonderful as you want, no matter what weight you are. Forget the other people - they don't matter!

I have to tell you -- I am certainly not skinny. I am moderatly overweight. But I used to be skinny. I have always found it EASIER to talk to and hang out with people who are NOT skinny. Maybe it's just me, but I have always felt self conscious around skinny people, and find it much harder to relate to them...

I think there is some truth in slim people not wanting to get to know fat people. A friend of 20 years duration said to me recently (she is slim and elegant and has been all the time I have known her) that if I had been the size I am now (15 st) when we met (8 st) she doubted if she would have gotten to know me. She said that she either wouldn't have noticed me at all (ironical isn't it; the more space you take up, the less people actually notice you)or would have been polite but backed off (a bit like Lemontree40's fellow church goers?)actually getting to know me and doing things with me. She said she just doesn't see herself as having anything in common with fat people.

At the end of the day though, being fat is a lifestyle choice. I doubt if most fat people are mentally ill or even have too much of an issue with being overweight. If we did, we would do something about it. We just like food and don't like exercise. Well, at least, not in sufficient quantity and intensity to work off everything we eat. Sure, there are things that make it easier to conserve weight, such as the fat gene, or having contracted the virus AD36 somewhere along the way.

Yes, I too notice how in clothes stores the store assistants shy away from overweight people. A retail assistant was telling me one day that clothing companies had a lot to answer for because they didn't make large enough sizes of the fashionable clothes, so whenever a larger woman comes into the store, the workers avoid her because they are scared she will want to try something on that won't fit her.

Ever watch Two and a Half Men? Well, watch it sometime because the character, Berta, on that show is really fat but she is so funny and sassy, you see how she gets her way.

I think if you're light-hearted and don't take yourself or your weight too seriously, other people won't either. The fact that you've tried to end your life several times means you have some mental health issues you need to get addressed first.

Also, start exercising everyday. Take long walks and ask others to join you, turn those walks into short jogs, and just keep going, left foot right foot for an hour.

Or join a walking group or put out an ad on craiglist for overweight people in your area to walk, cook, and eat together.

Buy a cookbook and learn how to be an awesome chef, invite people over, be jolly. Get a hobby.

See where it takes you in a few months.

Skinny people have problems too.
I have been skinny my whole life.
I don't have that many problems now,but when I was a kid
I was teased a lot,mostly by overweight kids. Mainly overweight girls. Maybe they were jeallous,or maybe they knew they were bigger than me and could get away with it.
No,I don't hate overweight people.
But I still wonder why over weight kids chose to pick on me because I was very skinny and petite as a child and still am.

While your problem is likely real, it sounds like you are making it bigger than it really is. A lot of what you feel may be caused by your own depression. I've been very depressed before for a long time. Everything seems exponentially worse than it is while depressed.
If you don't know how to snap out of it, then you need to get help. Things honestly aren't as bad as they seem. I promise you that. It's difficult, but you can change without pills. I did. And I did it all by myself with no internet access for help after several years of depression. You can do it too!
I just don't have enough space here to tell you what to do. Please talk to someone. No one deserves to feel this way. Your life is worth so much more than that.

Wow... u r right. I feel sad to, and also whenever I am playin sports. they make fun of me, and they dont pick me cuz im fat:(

thats how people act, they always look at the persons appearance, it don't surprise me that people treat you badly at church, i am fourteen and this seventeen boy and me get into a fight, i got into trouble and he didn't, because church people do those stuff, because i am not Christian and he is, i get in trouble, thats why i am an atheist now. but don't make people judge, they do not have the authority to do that to you, just stand up for your self, i really know how you feel like, but just keep your head up and live life, try to live life with out people, i learned that people in this world is stupid, when i grow up i want to make a different, but i got to grow up alone without kids who are stupid and do stupid stuff. but just live life, if your not going to find any one who love you, just live life alone because thats what i am doing, i don't need people, people are stupid and ignorant, they don't got any right to hate you, there just stupid, i hate people who acts lie that.

OK, well here's how I see it...I haven't been skinny-ish since I was in 4th grade. I started gaining weight more around 7th and 8th grade, which freaked me out, b/c my sister who came home from the Marines weighed herself next to me when I was twelve and said "Wow Sam, 127 you're bigger than me." Since then I have been gaining weight like crazy.
My highest weight was 219. Sickening isn't it? That I let myself go to that weight at only 16 years old. I decided I wasn't going to get anywhere by sitting on my arse all day and watching T.V. My CHOICE was to get out there and work my butt off, because I was tired of people and tired of myself and seeing something horrible in the mirror every morning.
I want you to know that it isn't impossible...I lost over 30lbs. And I am still losing the weight. I have more weight to go. Skinny people aren't the problem and certainly they don't hate...well not most...all of my friends are skinny people, I figure it gives me motivation.

Hi everybody,

I didn't have the time to read all what is written above. but I want to say one small thing is people feel what we feel, if you are fat and ugly that is something you can change or maybe you can't change, but one thing that I am sure you can change is the way you think, No body loves you until you love yourself start from that point love your self make people around you feel the beauty in inside you and outside. change the way you think don't see the hate in other people words instead feel the love. if they don't invite you invite them and feel free to express the way you think you only need people who loves who you really are.

i used to be very fat but then decided to stop drinking soda and eating junk food all while swiming and riding my bike ive gone down two shirt sizes and counting.

i have a dislike of fat people because they are influincing others to be fat by inviting them over so they have to eat junk food ect. i also dont like them because even though they are nice they make our country seem weak. And they some how are depresing to be around.

It is your fault you are fat.

I love fat people!!!!

Lemontree40,

This reminds me of a funny joke, by, I think Rodney Dangerfield.

Dangerfield: I complained to my psychiatrist the other day that everyone thinks I'm a jerk.

Psychiatrist: Don't be ridiculous, you haven't met everyone yet! :-)

People are people, and it's stereotypical, if not prejudice, to categorize skinny and fat people.

Personally, I LOVE fat people! And it isn't just because my dad's fat, my brother's fat, and I was a fat teenager. Without them I wouldn't have a business of getting them thinner!

-raz

I think that everything comes with a choice. You chose to be fat. People don't force you to eat.

I think that people in general tend to scrutinize and judge others...it's in our nature. In saying that, I do notice that fat people tend to be judged more often because when you're over weight, people can see your "flaw". My parents are both overweight, nice people, and when I go places with them, I can't stand when you get "the looks" from others. I wish other people could see them how I do, yes overweight, but good people. I'm thin, and it has always bothered me when people judge fat people. I guess they do it because they are easy targets so to speak.

As I said, I'm thin, and pretty active. I like taking care of myself. But in no way do I pass judgement on fat people. Everyone has a choice of how they live their lives and if people think a snide look is going to change that, they're the one's with the problem. I hate fat jokes and all that stuff, I guess because of my parents. I was out the other night with a few friends, and there was a table with 2 overweight people eating dinner. One of the girls turned and goes, "Looks like they already had dinner...hahahaha" And I was like that's not funny! It bothered me a lot actually. My friends think it's odd that fat jokes and the like bother me a lot because I'm thin. But I think it's just plain mean.I like everyone and don't judge for superficial reasons:)

And one more thing....

I think it's stupid that people judge overweight people because....everyone could become overweight! They could develop a disease or eat a few too many french fries, and they themselves can be fat. It can be avoided yes....but to put on weight isn't exactly difficult! People are just so damn insecure!!

Skinny people do make fun of fat people. I know its just not fair to say this but I see it all the time. Im normal weight but people who are underweight always call me fat. It really makes me sad because im not and because they need to gain some weight and stfu. Also, I hate when people judge eveyone on their weight. Everyone is how much they weigh because of their eating habits(most likely). Some skinny people have very bad eating habits, which I dont get cause they will grow up fat.

I am fat I dont want to end my life or anything i have a very bad metabolic disorder and its also impossible for me to loose weight i loose and i gain i exercise but then i have to be on standby because of health issues ( since birth) so I will never be skinny i am not morbidly obese but i am fat indeed i have gave up all hope of loosing weight i have also gave up on girls the love of my life she leaved me for another guy why because i was and always will be fat.
Fat you would never imagine how much i hate myself how repulsive i find myself every morning.
I am not really depressed i just gave up my chance in this life better luck to anyone.

Everyone struggles with their weight. Maintaining weight is like managing a checking account - if there's extra always being placed in the account you will end up with a significant balance. Everyone's weight fluctuates, but those that tend to be thinner consume calories within a range that more closely matches their activity level and size. What obese people that go on a diet and/or exercise are doing for a limited period of time is what thinner people do ALL THE TIME.

Regarding friendships with people that are obese.

In the U.S. it is impossible not to have friends that are obese when 75% of adults and 80% of children are obese. One problem with maintaining these friendships are the individuals' lower activity levels - they can't keep up when sightseeing, shopping, etc. Then there are the years of hearing about diets and exercise programs that never pan out, because temporary measures do not work - they must change their lifestyles permanently. Then there are also the unsoliceted excuses as to why things have not worked out and hearing how thinner people have it easier. That's right, according to my obese friends it's easier for thinner people to watch their food intake and exercise on a regular basis than for the obese people that do it once a year or every few years. Finally, there is additional emotional toll for thinner people as they watch their obese friends prematurely age and develop diet related issues, such as, diabetes, heart trouble, joint pain, etc. It is painful to experience such self destructive behavior with the realization that your obese friends are in a downward spiral and will end up predeceasing you by many years after years of ill health.

For starters -- I'm fat. And I'm a teenager. So naturally I can be excused from past behavior of a person with a victim complex and "poor me" attitude.

The fact of the matter is, everyone should maintain their health. Being fat is not exactly good for a person's health. It's something that can be changed (even if you have the fat gene, if you keep it under constant moderation I'm sure it could be kept under control). You can't change your gender or race without surgical modifications. And other various things are too personal (i.e. religion). But I suppose it has something with self-esteem (like eating your feelings--which I used to do) and other psychological factors.

What you should do is get off your computer and start moving around. There are a lot more things to be self-conscious about than your body.

Think about other people instead of yourself.

not ALL skinny people are like that, some of us actually want to be fat and have friends that are fat too

I say put all the fatties on stationary bikes with elec. generators. make em ride 10 hours a day in rotating shifts 24/7 in the desert with only almonds, spirulina,and some berries. If they die thats fine,thin the herd, if not they will be helping us out with "energy independance". and a side note the the fatty who will "work circles around me". You probably do smell, all that fat nectar leaching out of your rolls. Help the herd slap a fatty today.

Yours truly
Nate , Telluride CO

i have to agreee with everyone it dont matter wut the hell u are as long we sharing the earth an people shouldnt be judging other people there not god.......god is the only one who can do that i wish the world could just be in peace

It sounds like to me that you're finding this hard because you don't have a whole lot of confidence in yourself. Which is shown clearly in the message you have shared.
Now, me and my best friend have been friends since the beginning of first grade in school. We are the same age, and whilst I'm over-weight and weigh 73 kilos she's quite fit and weighs 45 kilos . . . we are two very different body-types yet we still see each other for who we are, not how we look.
I am working on my weight, and I am aware of it, but I do not let it get in the way of my everyday living. Therefore people respect me - skinny or not - because I be myself, feel confident with who I am and show I do not care what other people think of me. (:

It's because those "beautiful" people work hard at being in shape and staying skinny. Say what you want but they do. As a former fatty who struggled for 2 years to become a "beautiful" person it's hard to look at fat people and wonder why they do that to themselves. It's not hard to lose weight. Less eating + more excersize = weight loss. Pick it apart how you will that is how to lose weight.

sweetheart your sound so sweet and nice, i wish i could make you life better and make people treat you right but sadly i cant. i also know how you feel, and its hard trust me. i honesty dont know what to say i just read this and it touch my heart and i all most started crying. and i just want you to know theres always someone out there that cares.

your friend courtney maker

to be honest I have some very fat friends and i love to hang out with them. I have invited them to my house several times, all though they have trouble walking etc.

Anyway I think most "skinny" people dispise fat people because of the amount of space they take up, like when you are walking though a place with a lot of people and you get stuck behind some fat person that doesnt even know your there . . . Also just the way Americans indulge way to much makes me kinda sick.

And I KNOW ITS HARD, well no i dont i know it was hard as hell just for me to lose like 20 lbs it must feel impossible for anyone who is really fat ! It takes so much time and determination.

I would like you if i knew you, just please watch out for us little people and dont block doorways and such.

I weigh 250 but i am 5`4 so i am overweight. i am athletic n could play sports for hours nonstop. but the reason i think im fat is because of something involved with my family, maybe what we eat cus my whole intermediate family is fat. but my problem is not making friends cus i have many, its just meeting girl. i could never meet a good girl. there were sum that wanted to date me, but they wernt my type.

personslly i'm naturally thin and i don't hate fat people but i do hate snobs who judge people on their wieght

don't want to be fat? eat healthy go to gym. duh. stop posting blogs of how much it sucks, and go do something about it.

i used to be fat, but that was 4 years ago. so don't say i don't understand

Ahh yes the fat gene.. passed down from the nuganuga tribes who needed to survive log harsh winters with sub-maintenance calories.. leaving the infected person with the ability to defy the laws of energy consumption versus output. Cant really argue with that.. its bro-science

im skinny. ive always been so i dont know how you "feel" but my subconsiouce tag fat people as bad hygeine, lazy eating habits, ect.
but its never right ti judge i guess.

huh.

Some people don't choose to be fat, some people are just born to be fat.

You are probably exaggerating the extend to which other people dislike you or avoid you. If you have this attitude you will be nervous and appear tense in public. Most likely people are turned off by these attitudes as opposed to your obesity. So just relax and be friendly. You will probably notice that 95% of the people you thought were avoiding you because of your looks will respond very differently. With regard to the other 5%, dislike them back.

It's all in your mind man.

Start exercising and eat better and loose the weight. Don't try to do it too fast. Give yourself a year to change your eating and exercise behavior. Your confidence will slowly build.

Hey there...it's not that skinny people hate fat people. I've had a couple of fat friends and for the most part the first friend I had was good, until it came down to her desperation for a boyfriend, then she started becoming a frenemy. Then my next heavy friend (through girlscouts) every now and then would belittle me and really hurt my feelings indirectly when it came to making decisions in scouting, since I wasn't as on the ball. Now, her daughter still wants to remain friends with mine, even though mine lost interest in scouts. This mom now doesn't speak to me, and conveniently grounds her daughter in a ploy to get her daughter to not be friends with mine. I'm a good person (not a church goer) but wear my heart on my sleeve and would do anything for anyone, and never deserved the treatment I got from her, nor does my daughter. It's a good thing my daughter made a different best friend, as her feelings aren't really hurt, but I"m sure that her daughter's feelings are hurt quite a bit. I became close to her, and just because she called me one time about a problem, she got grounded. She's trying to isolate her daughter from us as a whole, and can't figure out why. The only thing I can think of is that I can wear the latest fashions, and don't go to church maybe? Either way, my family doesn't deserve the treatment that she's bestowing upon us. Because of her behavior, I view her as a very self center and controling person that I don't want in my life. There are much more laid back decent people in this world, that understand that going to church doesn't mean that you're a good person;)

i personally think it is your falt for being obesed or over wieght , because you have a choice of exercising and eating healthy.Its not hard to do either.It's a mental thing if you believe that you can do it, its possible.

Hey LemonTree40!!
Are you there? Are you doing anything with everybody's remarks?? There seems to be a lot of truth in them. I judge people all the time, its human nature. You seem to do the same. In general, I've found that personality is the most important thing. Fat people often have low self-esteem, which is why I don't enjoy hanging out with them.
Maybe some of the remarks were not the understanding and supporting message you were hoping for. Still, I really think you should read them again and think about how everybody here is trying to help you.
Good luck changing your life. You (and only you) can do it!

I'm sort of lazy because I grew up with bodyguards and maids and never had to lift a finger which I could done random stuff to occupy my time but I am still able to work/run/exercise and do other stuff way more than 99.99% of fat people. Fat people freak me out and are disgusting. I especially sick of people saying it's not there fault it's my (someone else) fault! or say the diet doesn't work. fat people seem to suck up tax dollars, ruin things when they sit on them and most of the time, smell really bad

We hate you b/c you are slow and smell like a long dead decaying animal.

ok ... listen fat people are un attreactive , your slow , us every hing as a exuse ..i used to be fat i hated myself and now that im skinney .. and love it , i really hate FAT PEOPLE

"fat gene" rarely is the true case with fat people.
even just "chubby" or "chunky" girls, i see them eating junk.

yeah im underweight but i was overweight as a child, and even then i found other fat people disgusting. Theres really no excuse.

I'm a teen and in Highschool, the mecca of insecurity and labels. But i really don't think putting all 'skinny' people in one judgemental category is the right way to go. Because honestly it's almost like you're doing the same thing to them as you're claiming they do to you. Yes, some people see 'fat' people as gross and lazy but really that's how they were raised. Just like some people are raised to not like gay people, or other races. I've been there with thinking everyone and their mom is talking about you and making mean comments. But really most of the time it's your own insecurities that are making you feel that way. If you don't like something about yourself, my best advice is for you to change it.
I'm not saying that i believe that 'skinny is happy'
but i lost the weight, and i feel much better about myself now. Just remember to not overdo it, and don't listen to the few narrowminded arseholes who are commenting stuff that really isn't constructive, or helful at all.
If you don't feel comfortable at your church, then i think maybe you should go to another one. Because honestly if you can't feel comfortable there, where can you?
Also,alot of people on here are saying 'maybe it's your personality'. I don't think that's very fair though. Someone can have a horrible personality and still have alot of 'friends'. I think that you shouldn't worry too much about not having alot of them. It's better to have a few very good ones who will stick with you through 'thick and thin'.
[Oh wow. Bad pun]

[seriously she asked for help, not to be everyone's punching bag or for people to try and make her feel worse]

The truth is the majority of thin people despise overweight people. They think they are better than the overweight people. This applies especially to thin people or normal size people who used to be big. They are the worst generally speaking. This is a shame, they should know better. The best thing is to lose the weight and when those thin people want to hang out go ahead. But if you hear them make fun of overweight people while you are out, tell them what you think of that. Dont accept their comments and behavior. Dont laugh with them. Because you will be worse than them if you do.

not all skinny people hate fat people I am 13 and in the 8th grade who weighs 85 pounds and I'm with my friend that is 12 and in the 7th grade and weighs 75 pounds and.........WE LOVE FAT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, what a bunch of jerks you've got commenting on here. I hate people in times like these... I feel lots of fat hatred stems from the fact that you can't openly hate anything else in this society. You can't hate people based on race, religion, gender, etc., so all those lousy, shallow, bigoted people channel all their insecurities and aggression into hating fat people.

I've been fat. I chose to change my life, and I did. I lost 25 lbs. through eating healthy and exercising regularly. And guess what... I may be thinner now, but I'm not THIN. My weight and my pants size are stuck at the same number even though I've been maintaining the same lifestyle for 5 years. And yes, even though I no longer feel fat, even though I KNOW I am extremely healthy, I am still considered fat by many people. They can't seem to get it through their thick skulls that NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE MEANT TO BE STICK THIN. And a person's size is not indicative of their health, character, or lifestyle. Many thin people are extremely unhealthy, never exercise, eat junk, but are they ever hated? Are they belittled, looked down upon, called "lazy" and "weak"? Answer me this one, fat haters: WHY NOT? Why is a fat person eating a burger much more likely to get your dirty looks than a thin person eating the same f*%I#& burger?

Lemontree40, I don't know exactly how overweight you are, or the state of your health, but here's my advice, take it or leave it. You CAN become healthy without major sacrifices. It's how nature works. Anything excessive is not healthy, and your body WILL fight against it to restore balance. Which is why 95% of diets fail, and pro athletes ruin their health by the time they're 30. I lost my excess weight by cutting out junk food/drinks, downsizing your portions, and moderately exercising 3 times a week. Start small, see where it takes you. I expected failure, and I was shocked how easy the weight came off. Just keep in mind: concentrate on becoming healthier, not skinnier. Because guess what... As long as you have even an ounce of fat on you, those fat haters will continue to hate you. This is what passes for "fat" these days: http://mybigfathealthybutt.blogspot.com/2009/08/how-do-you-define-fat_11.html . Get healthy, but DO IT FOR YOURSELF, not for these douchebags.

I don't believe it when people say they are just born to be fat. I don't see these people working out at the gym, walking, running, and pushing themselves. At least 1 hour of exercise every day is important. People make up their mind who they want to be. If this "fat person" wants to hang with thin people....are you ready to run 10 miles, hop on a bile for a quick 25 miles? Maybe that is why you are not invited to hang out....you might run circles around people....but really think...can you keep up?

julie what did you say I think you,r a nice person

Skinny people hate fat people because YOU'RE FAT ! I like how you try and say it's not your fault , it IS your fault ! Your the one who chose the big mac instead of a salad ! I honestly , can not stand fat people . I WILL sniker , point , and laugh at a fat person . Fat people try to say they ain't lazy ! If ya'll aren't lazy ya'll wouldn't be FAT ! I don't understand how fat people can even look in a mirror ! They are disgusting MONSTERS that eat their feelings ! I am not , never was , and never will be FAT ! If i do , i'd rather kill myself .

But it won't ;)
so keep wishin hunny .