SubscribePositive Body Image: Your Kids Are Listening
During my first year teaching preschool, I was asked by one of my students:
“Miss Sylvia, do you think these shoes make my butt look big?”
This little girl, who just happened to be only 3 years old, had her hands on her hips, in a very cute way. I assured her that she looked wonderful, and that her shoes didn’t change the way her body looked.
I hoped to myself that she did not know what she was really saying. I came to the conclusion that she was probably parroting a phrase she’d heard at home.
As she continued playing dress-up in the “housekeeping area,” she went on her way, enjoying her day, forgetting about the silly question.
Who is saying this sort of thing in front of a child, I wondered?
This encounter validated that kids are super-mega-impressionable.
Anything you say, can and will be filtered through their thought process.
Whether you are a parent, an aunt or uncle, a neighbor, or a passerby, make your best effort to be a positive-influence. Let’s try to fill those minds with a fresh and healthy perspective on body image.
If you want the world to be a better place surely it begins with little minds
ReplyI can't believe that. What kind of parent would inflict that kind of emotional damage on one so young - granted it may not have been intentional, but still.
ReplyFunny but shocking. How to teach a child to be neurotic about their body eh?
I am constantly amazed by what goes on in front of children and what is allowed into their innocent minds. I've learnt that children definately do what you do, and not what you tell them to do.
~Mike
ReplyWell if parents keep giving the bad example by being couch potatoes and eating fried stuff, and then complain about diets that don't work, then a bad body image will take control over their children anyway.
Until that time comes, your can always keep them happy with sweets.
Replywow, maybe that is why women's view's of themselves is so critical- maybe it has just been learned from years of listening to our dissatisified mothers...
ReplyAnyone consider that the kid heard it on tv instead of from a parent?
ReplyI don't think it matters so much where the child heard it. The fact that a 3 year old is saying this is alarming enough. We need to get kids to be active and eat healthy for health's sake, and not for vanity.
ReplyI don't think that the child ever had anyone intentionally tell her that her butt was large... she most likely mimicked a behavior she observed from her mother, sister or off the television. It is likely that her mother didn't realize that she would understand, be able to mimic or comprehend the situation, or that it would harm her daughter.
ReplyI'm so scared of having kids--- this culture seems like a minefield to raise them in.
She may have heard it from her mother, or from the TV-- either way, the overemphasis on certain things like thinness (instead of healthy habits) obviously ARE being heard (and internalized) by the younger generation. That makes me sad.
ReplyPeople in every society throughout human history (and before) have been interested in looking their best. For many, it has been their highest concern.
Wanting to look good is normal. Actually worrying about kids wanting to look good is a strange cultural phenomenon.
If you think your kids shouldn't want to look good, then you have a very odd perspective as measured against the entirety of history. Consider helping them look good (or at least healthy -- healthy looks good) rather than telling them not to try.
ReplyAlso sad... I was in the park, playing in the sand with my little boy a week ago when he made friends with a little girl who proudly announced that she had turned six the week before. They chatted a bit about their lives (listen to kids talk, it's hilarious), and then she mentioned that she took swimming lessons "because they would make her skinny." Not because she wanted to learn to swim, not because it's fun, not because it's a *healthy* thing to do, but because it would "make her skinny". I nearly cried, and looked directly at her mother, who refused to make eye contact with me. Hopefully, a lesson was learned that day. What a horrible thing to do to that little girl.
ReplyI'm not sure I get the point. Who is encouraging insecurity and neuroses?
A "healthy perspective on body image" is a realistic perspective. Wanting to look good and trying hard to look good are natural and positive except in very extreme cases. If someone is worried about their looks, that's 100% normal. The 3-year-old in the story is mimicking 100% normal behavior for a person.
If parents are alarmed about normal behavior, what are they teaching their children about how to react to things? Always be alarmed at everything?
I'm pretty sure the article's message is that kids shouldn't worry about the way they look. While this may be correct for a 3-year-old, it certainly isn't normal or natural for 10-18 year-old kids. Kids should want to look good -- that's the normal, positive human perspective.
Telling them "it doesn't matter" is incorrect. Looking good may not alter your feelings for them, but it's clearly better for them to look good than to look bad. (It's healthier too because a healthy look is a good look in almost every society in history.)
ReplyKids shouldn't worry about what they look like when they are that little. Caring about what they look like is different than worrying about what they look like...as a little girl, I used to like to wear pretty dresses and shiny patent leather shoes and pretty hairbows. I did NOT ever ONCE ask anyone "Does this dress make my hips look big?" Luckily, I wasn't allowed to watch cable TV and I wasn't allowed to listen to most music until I was about 11 (strangely enough, that's also about the time that I started to worry about being fat).
I agree that parents have to be so careful about what they say around their kids, but the media is also a HUGE culprit.
ReplyIt's not surprising that kids get the wrong idea about diet. Because of the environment and the influenced brought about their friends, they misunderstood things.
ReplyTrue. Parents and guardians should be aware that even though children don't understand what you are doing they can still do.
ReplyI remember reading a very moving story about Oprah Winfrey and how she was at the height of her
career, nominated for an Emmy award. Right before
they announced the winner, all she could think about was how fat she thought she was. She did not
want them to call her name, becaus of how she percieved her body. This is all so sad. To have acheived
so much, to be such a good person, to be an incredible role model for so many women and yet to be focused
totally on how you look, to have such a great, rewarding moment ruined for yourself, by yourself.Oprah eventually figured it out, she was not meant to be thin. She
was meant to healthy. Healthy is about eating right and gettingexercise. It is not about being skinny.
ReplyThat is so sad! Parents need to be more aware of what their kids are watching on TV and on what magazines their children read and even who their kids hang out with. If kids read for ex. a health magazine instead of your typical teen magazine they would want to "look better-take care of themselves" to be healthier not to look like a movie star or model. The mentality completely changes when you raise your kids with values that can only come from within. If you do not want to have superficial and unhappy children, you as a parent need to start taking action, or in the long run you might be turning them into empty souls. I try to eat very healthy and I do not only take care of my body from the inside but I take care of my body and the body of those I love from the outside with non toxic products that you will never find in your local store. go to my website and ask for more info. if you would like to purchase these products for your home, many schools nurseries and homes have converted to safe products. Even children with asthma can use them and not be affected. Use these products month after month without the need of extra income to sell them, but just buy them to show your family how much you care :) that is what I do and I love telling others about them:) They really work and are not as expensive as you would think, you will be shocked!!
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