3 Steps To Building Confidence

Great post.

I've had the weirdest tip for boosting confidence, but hey, it worked for me, maybe it'll work for others (although it probably won't work for males :p): I wear sexy underwear. All the time. I don't care if it's "only to go to work or at school" or "but it's Sunday and I'm all alone at home anyway!". It's my way of affirming that, okay, I have bumps and extra pounds and all, but gosh, I'm not wearing granny panties and I'm giving myself the right to wear NICE stuff! (And when you've been raised with the idea that "you're fat, so you can't afford G-strings and cute little panties because you'll be rdiculous", let me tell you that just doing that simple thing was a huuuuge ego boost. ;))

Perhaps I'm confusing two different things, but I think the best way to build 'confidence' as in self-esteem, is to take on small challenges and succeed. I think actual behavioral changes will do much more for oneself than 'just love yourself.' With self-esteem, everything is this post just 'happens.'

Self Esteem

Self esteem is quite the dream
and measure of our folly.
As if by wish or hope or prayer,
we deck the halls with holly..
No, not by thought,
nor message fraught
with words like coulda, woulda.
And not by twist of morning mist
nor dwelling on a shoulda,
For only with the faith to leap,
into the waiting morrow.
With change as the only way,
to reach beyond our sorrow..
But with the work and pain fought through,
we reach a new beginning.
And now we start,
if we are smart,
to spend our new life winning!

Kery said:
I've had the weirdest tip for boosting confidence, but hey, it worked for me, maybe it'll work for others (although it probably won't work for males :p): I wear sexy underwear. All the time. I don't care if it's "only to go to work or at school" or "but it's Sunday and I'm all alone at home anyway!". It's my way of affirming that, okay, I have bump[...]

Im absolutley with you on this on kery!! I do the same thing. When I wear something sexy undernieth, i feel great, and some how people can tell! Just yesterday i wore a sexy little red number to work, and i was told that I looked a little differnt, I shined a little..

Besides, if you have new undies, it means your girls will be in the right place, which makes any clothing look better.

After 6-9 months, bras don't do what they are supposed to do anymore and it is time for new ones.

Kery said:
(although it probably won't work for males :p):[...]

I'm going to jump in and say that my hubby has a few pairs of uber-sexy "panties."

Fun material, tight....sexy!

(He'd die if he knew I was sharing this...)

;)

Sylvia

I'd say more than loving your body now, you should live your life now. Don't put off until "ten pounds from now" what you could be doing today. It sounds corny, but my mom put off buying a pair of jeans until she was skinny enough and she died at age 70 having never owned a pair of jeans.

What you are talking about is CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

It is one of the few branches of psychology where one actually leaves the shrinks office and does not have to come back for the next 20 years.

Good topic.

Nice tips. I think it depends on how a person identifies himself/herself that affects his/her self confidence. I've seen a lot of people who dress inappropriately and still have the courage to walk in front of people.

Well, truth is, I'm not too knowledgeable in male sexy undies nowadays (my ex always refused to wear any, so I dropped the matter ;)), so it's anything that works, I suppose. Although it won't involve bras, I guess.

Along the same lines, I wear fragrances that only I can smell (one spray to upper chest). And not the ones that make a guy smell safe and clean and castrated for society's sake. Screw that. I typically wear the ones that would make some people retch or piss their pants in fear.

It's the secret source of my power... being able to smell such a scent coming off my body, throughout the day. Nobody else need know, they only experience the result.

Jim said:
So what qualifies as sexy underwear for men? [...]

Boxer briefs.

Jan said:
Boxer briefs.[...]

Kailash said:
I typically wear the ones that would make some people retch or piss their pants in fear.[...]

Sylvia C. said:
uber-sexy "panties."[...]

Ugh, boxer briefs are old man underwear. My hubby refuses to wear them because his dad wears them, LOL. For him, boxers are his "sexy" undies. I love wearing sexy stuff too...fishnet stockings are the icing on the cake for me.

Another way to boost body confidence is to look at yourself naked every day. It helps you to get comfortable looking at your body and forgetting about some of your flaws.

I struggle with confidence and self esteem. I try to be positive and those are great tips. I take care of myself but I am very petite and have small breasts and when I go out I feel unattractive because all the other women have nice big breasts or fake ones and I know that is what men like. I am not looking for a man right now but I would like to feel attractive and I don't. I don't want to get breast implants though because I don't feel they are safe for all women and I don't want to cause any damage to my body and then feel worse.

Great tips. Loving our body is a huge factor. With that, everything we do probably counts and will certainly affect our decisions and the way we live.

Jim said:
Kailash said: I typically wear the ones that would make some people retch or piss their pants in fear.

Sounds like fun to me. Is this a fragrance you can buy? Or something you concocted out in the garage?

Well, today was Yatagan, which has been described as either "celery and gunsmoke" or "a wet dog soaked in whiskey".

Nobody smelled it but me. Yet I won every battle of the day. Invincible.

-----------

Suzy: Forget about your breasts. You can't despair over one quality, when you're made up of millions more. That's just silly now.

I can always find SOMETHING to like in every woman. Yeah, very Don Juan Demarco-ish, but it's not just me. It's every man. We love women, very much, and you all have something to offer.

suzy said:
when I go out I feel unattractive because all the other women have nice big breasts or fake ones and I know that is what men like[...]

Suzy,

I think every size has its ups and down (literally and metaphorically).

Small breasts are much perkier. They don't hurt your back. Small breasts don't make your entire figure look...full.

Your honesty is brave. Women look sexy when they are confident. Big boobs or little boobs.

I truly wish you the best in finding comfort in your own, distinct look.

Sylvia

suzy said:
I struggle with confidence and self esteem. I try to be positive and those are great tips.

I've seen women who are compassionate, humble, strong, patient, kind, positive -- and it's those attributes that them very attractive -- so much more than a cupsize or waist measurement.

Of course it takes time to see those attributes in a person. The person that you might not take a second look at when walking down the street -- turns out to be a real beauty.

Hmmm. I sound like I've been sniffing too much incense or something...

suzy: for every man who thinks women are like rocks (skip the flat ones), there's one who thinks that any breast larger than a champagne glass is disgusting. And, fortunately for both of us, the rest of them are in the middle.

Your breasts are fine the way they are, and huge knockers are more trouble than they're worth. Trust me.

Spectra said:
Ugh, boxer briefs are old man underwear. My hubby refuses to wear them because his dad wears them, LOL. For him, boxers are his "sexy" undies.

Boxer briefs were invented like 10 years ago. Old men as in "guys who are now 40"? Boxers are old men underwear. And briefs are just repulsive.

I've never seen Spongebob boxer briefs, so I'm torn on that issue, Jim, haha.

Suzy, the same insecurity you have, women who are a B and up and over the age of 21 have about removing their bras. Once that bra comes off, they are not quite in the same place anymore, haha. And I bet women with fake ones have it about "Everyone can tell they are fake". So if you had big fake or natural ones, you'd have other problems to deal with, as people have said.

Great article. Its good there people out there like you trying to make life a little better, even when it doest seem that way.

I found this girl with a self-esteem issue: 13 years old, overweight and is having a hard time dealing with the fact that boys dont look at her cause, in her opinion, she's fat and ugly.
Maybe if you give her some tips, she'll start loving herself a little bit more so she could enjoy her teen years which should be the greatest of her life.
click here and maybe you guys can put a smile on her face!

Thanks alot and kep up the good work!
Meya

I think #2 is the most applicable.