I’ve become somewhat unfazed about what celebrities eat, how they workout and how they get back to their size 1 jeans 3 weeks after giving birth. There is one name, though that appears to have become synonymous with stupid dietary, exercise and alternative practices. Ladies and gentlemen, Gwyneth Paltrow. (Warning, extreme “catty-ness” ahead)In the past 4 years, the Oscar winner (Side rant: Cate Blanchett got shafted and so did Saving Private Ryan, I mean come on – Shakespeare in Love???)
ahem, as I was saying… Paltrow has been linked with the following fads:
- Eat right for your baby – a spinoff book by Dr. D’Adamo based on his “blood-type” diet, a concept that has drawn the criticism of reputable nutrition experts.
- Some “Live foods 5 day cleanse” – a regime that may have contributed to her hospitalization a year ago.
- Cupping – some bizarre treatment whereby some practitioner sticks glass cups on your back to help with goodness-only-knows what.
And then there’s the latest detox – the one she felt compelled to share with the world on her blog. Here are some gem quotes from Ms. Paltrow;
It is that time of year, folks. I need to lose a few pounds of holiday excess. Anyone else?
Well clearly! I can barely see your ribs anymore, Gwyn.
I like to do fasts and detoxes a couple of times during the year, the most hardcore one being the Master Cleanse I did last spring. It was not what you would characterize as pretty. Or easy.”
No kidding… who’d of thought consuming nothing but a cocktail of water, maple syrup and cayenne pepper would be difficult?
As I do not wish to subsist on lemon water in the middle of winter, I asked my doctor, a detox diet specialist, for the guidelines he uses to achieve a good detox that is not as hallucinogenic (in a bad way) as the Master Cleanse.”
Okay, 2 questions:
- Is it okay to subsist on lemon water during the summer months?
- Which medical schools offer a “detox specialty”?
But perhaps the ultimate slight to common sense – much worse than her dietary fads, and yes even worse than “Duets” and “Sky Captain, and the World of Tomorrow”, and incredibly enough, more appaling than naming your child “Apple”…
Her personal trainer – Tracy Anderson (cue high-pitched violin sounds from “psycho”)
Celebrity Trainer and con artist (allegedly) Tracy Anderson declares, and I quote;
“No women should lift more than 3lbs”.
SWEET LINCOLN’S MULLET!
While I don’t quite have the words to express how utterly brainless that statement is – I’ll leave it at “well, Tracy – that’s not exactly true”. (See, I can be nice)
Why so perturbed?
By now you may be wondering why I’ve gone berserk over some movie star’s personal life. Well, I’ll tell ya…
- I believe this type of behavior fuels poor body image and serves only to deter women from accepting their own bodies.
- I think it’s arrogant of celebrities to flaunt their fads and dole out nutrition and exercise advice that is sketchy at best and potentially dangerous at worse.
- I take issue with genetically thin women in any way implying that they achieved their physiques through any kind of hard work. Heellooo – have you seen Gwyneth’s mom? She’s older than my own mother and I would probably ask her out if I met her at a bar (did I type that out loud?)