I am 25 years old, currently weighing 145 lbs at 5'6". I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I was a chubby little girl, and developed a complex about my weight at the early age of 12 (thanks to mean girls at school). I started running in middle school and lost my "baby fat", but started having problems again when I developed curves around 15-16 years old. Ever since I went to college, I have been constantly fluctuating between 135-152 lbs (sometimes I cover the whole range in less than 3 months).
The problem is I cannot eat in moderation. I have developed such a bad relationship with food that everything is either "bad" or "good".
On "good days" I eat oatmeal for breakfast, a grilled chicken salad for lunch, a snack bar, and then steamed veggies, lean protein, and brown rice for dinner. If I break down and eat a "bad" food item, I lose my motivation completely since I have already ruined my "good" day and proceed to binge on junk food, fast food, you name it. It is usually triggered by negative emotions--stress, frustration, or when I'm feeling down. I go get bagels with cream cheese, Philly cheese steaks with french fries, cookies, and big pasta dinners.
The problem with this mode of thinking is that when my "bad" days start outnumbering my "good" days, I pack on the pounds very quickly. Last week I went from 139 to 145 lbs!! I exercise regularly and know exactly how to eat healthy.
So, why can't I get rid of this "all or nothing" mentality??
I have a wedding to go to in 2 weeks and I'd like to lose 5 lbs by then, so I don't feel miserable trying to squeeze into a cocktail dress. My long term goal is to develop a sense of moderation with eating and stay in my ideal weight range (133-136 lbs) for good. I need to lose about 10-12 pounds, starting today. Then I need to maintain it!
Please offer me help/suggestions on how to avoid overeating when I've made a "bad" food choice and/or how I can change my "extreme" eating patterns.
Food is not good or bad it is just food. Food is delicious but its primary purpose is to keep us alive. Every time you sit down to eat it is a new opportunity to nourish yourself...you are in control of what you choose not the food. Take control. YOu can eat one cookie if you desire it, it is not written anywhere that you need to eat the box. You have control! Think it...believe it...and you will have it.
ReplyIt helps me to keep an online food-diary that calculates the calories as I put in what I eat. So I see that this one "bad" food item doesn't kick me over my daily allowance - and if then I see by how much. And how I can make up for it the next day. Try to keep in mind the big picture. Try to think in weeks rather than days. You can "ruin" a day but that doesn't ruin your whole week.
Plus I like the thought of a high-calorie-day per week. So this was your high-calorie-day which was good and useful in order to keep your body from slowing down its metabolism. Yay to one "bad" thing you ate on your high-calorie-day. Tomorrow is another day.
ReplyI worked closely with a top nutritionist to help me get lean. The first day I sat in her office, she gave me a long talk about healthy eating and at the end of it suggested I follow an 80/20 program - meaning that 80% of the time, I should make the food choices she'd just discussed with me, but that 20% of the time, it was ok to eat what I craved, just in moderation - I could eat these less healthy foods, but not increase my portion size beyond a palmful of whatever it was. When you eat a 20% food, just limit it to a palmful - and make sure that you balance that choice out by making your next 4 choices part of the healthy 80%.
ReplyMiss Big Booty,
I would highly recommend you look into the book "A Guide to Flexible Dieting" by Lyle McDonald. He really goes into some of the reasons why dieters and diet plans fail and suggests a more reasonable approach to dieting. afr0bunny is spot on with the 80/20 concept. If you diet properly 80% of the time, then what you do the remaining 20% of the time isn't an issue. At least not unless you make it one.
In any event, the two main reasons why dieters fail thanks to the all-or-nothing mentality are as follows:
1. Diets are too absolute & perfection is expected.
2. Too much focus on the short term.
You should develop a plan that you can follow the rest of your life, stay within the 80/20 principle, and most important of all, enjoy the journey!! Don't be too hard on yourself since you're in this for the long haul.
HTH
ReplyYou can do it just believe in yourself. Add fiber related foods to your diet and eat them in the early part of your day. Fiber foods make you feel full. I lost 80 pounds and kept it off for over 2 1/2 years now. Fiber foods played a huge part. Almonds are great try eating a serving of almonds about an hour before you have lunch and dinner. You will probably feel full and choose a lighter meal. Add a tablespoon of cinnamon to your oatmeal cinnamon promotes weight loss. Drink two cups of black coffee a day (boosts metabolism).
ReplyIs your weight and eating the only area where your thinking is "all or nothing"? Or is this the way you think about many things.
If this is a food-only thing for you, it might help to think about other situations where giving up after a single mistake makes no sense and carry over the logic. "I spent an extra $5 on a cup of coffee that I shouldn't have -- I think I'll burn this $50 bill I still have in my purse." Does that make any more sense than pigging out after having an extra brownie?
I'm a recovering perfectionist, which doesn't mean I've ever been perfect. It just means that I wasn't happy with anything I did, and would give up or refuse to try if I wasn't certain I could do the job "right", as though most things have an objectively right way. It's no way to deal with most of life. Sigh.
ReplyI used to have the same problem for a long time.
For me, it works best not to have the "bad foods" (trigger foods) at all.
Bianca
ReplyThis problem runs very high with people trying to lose weight and somehow not understanding what it takes to keep it off. First, it is not that you cannot stop it is that you probably act impulsively and do not think about stopping because you have not learned how to.
We have all been caught up or trapped into that DIET way of thinking and that is the ALL OR NOTHING way of life. I lived it also until about 20 years ago when I lost 140 pounds permanently and still have it off today. Once I began to think and train myself to EAT MINDFULLY I won that battle.
You need to think about what and why you are eating and realize that you do not even taste the food anymore, it is an old pattern. Here is what you can do,
1. keep a journal of what you eat and limit yourself
2. have your food planned out daily
3. think about your decisions and still to them, stop eating just to eat, eat for good nutrition.
I have been eating this way for years and it works.
You can do it, debra mazda
ReplyBe forgiving - you have demonstrated that you can maintain a healthy way of eating so just try again. This is my suggestion. Eat three lovely meals a day. Porage in the morning is great - but control the sugar!!
The key problem is the Secret 4th Meal. The snacks, the sweets, the cakes, the biscuits, the fizzy drinks, the popcorn, the crisps. None us need any of these. We eat these for want of something better to do. We eat them because they are in the house. In the house is in the hand. In the hand is in the mouth. Don't buy them. Do something else with your friends. Take up knitting!!! Another tip. Don't eat any food that doesn't require cutlery. It is the same lot!!
ReplyLosing weight is 1 of d hardest things to do in life,trust me-i know.just try as much as possible to eat d rite foods while on this journey,wen ur done,u can eat junk food but on rare occations.all in all,just make sure dat 90percent of ur diet is consist of healthy food,that way,u can maintain ur weight.good luck!
ReplyI have struggled with extra weight for about 15 years. I tried every diet and they all worked a little - or for a while. Then, guess what, back comes the appetite and the weight!
Then I tried this new thing- and it's not a diet. it's a neurofeedback device I saw on the Dr. Phil show. It's simple and safe - it uses sound, some kind of pulsed tones to shift brainwave patterns. Here is the website where you can see the video: www.mybaud.com
Anyway, the first day I used it, I focused on neutralizing my appetite. I actually forgot to eat lunch! So, I expected to really pig out at dinner. Instead, I actually left food on my plate instead of going back for seconds.
The result: I lost 15 lbs. in 33 days. I simply didn't want to eat. In the next few months days, I kept losing. A total of 33 pounds in around 3 1/2 months. No special diet, no willpower. It's weird. By the way, I've kept this weight off for over 18 months and just use the BAUD from time to time.
Bob
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