I'm Sick of Being the Fat Girl

I can relate, in middle school and the first couple years of high school, I was constantly made fun of for my weight. First thing I have to say is that feeling beautiful does come from within, there are some people others would call gorgeous that still feel ugly, so first piece of advice: work on both how you feel about yourself and your health.

The thing that made the biggest difference for me (losing 30 pounds over summer break between 11th and 12th grade) were:
1. Lifting weights
2. Cutting out beverages that weren't water
3. Eating more unprocessed foods - chicken and broccoli versus ice cream and fries

Don't try to eat like a bird, that will only backfire. Reduce the amount of food you eat by a little bit, and try to make healthier food choices. I know this can be tough since you are probably still living with your parents, but see if they will support you in your goals and start cooking healthier or at least buy those foods for you. Do not forget to do strength training, it is very unlikely that you will bulk up to look like a guy. Instead, it will help you build/maintain lean muscle. And forget running. It is a high impact activity that will tear apart your knees. Try walking instead, but don't neglect to make it more intense by picking up the pace. Check out figureathlete.tmuscle.com for some great articles and info.

I wish you the best of luck, and remember that it is a journey...you will lose weight and gain some back, but it's ok as long as you keep moving towards your goal!

Katie, you may have gotten the "fat gene" but it isn't what you think - it is more a product of your environment (your family being overweight) than your actual genetics. With that said, YOU have all the power to change your situation and health for the better. This should not be a pursuit of the smaller sized clothes but rather a pursuit of a healthy and fit body. Think of it more in terms of being able to out-run the kids in gym class! How cool would THAT be?!

Here are a few things you can do that will help you get started.
1 - eliminate all sodas and bottled juices from your diet. It is terrible for you and adds way too much sugar! Drink water - LOTS of water - however you can manage it, even if that means crystal lite. :)
2 - no more fast food. This stuff is seriously the worst thing you can give your body. If you really need something fast, then opt for a healthier option like the lower fat/calorie subs from Subway - hold the mayo!
3 - add some consistent exercise to your routine. Adding even 30 minutes a day of some sort of exercise will do wonders. Just carve out 30 minutes of "me" time daily to take care of YOU and you'll be well on your way.

This will be a journey, so just keep your focus on your goal of being HEALTHY and all the rest of the things you're after will be a side effect of your efforts. Good luck - you can do it!

Katie,

What do you eat in a typical day? The more carbohydrate you eat, the more insulin your body makes, and isnulin tells your body to store any extra fat in your body. Back in the day, the only time we were able to eat a lot of carbohydrate was when fruit was in season, and if you didn't live in the tropics that was right before winter when famine would hit. So all that fruit would tell their bodies to sock away for the winter. Now, with fruit and high carb foods available year round, we are always able to sock away that fat.

Hello Katie,

Your letter touched my heart. I am a lot older then you are but I am in the same position as you. I don't feel beautiful anymore. I used to, and I want to feel that way again. You have a wonderful boyfriend who lets you know that you really are a beautiful girl. Don't pay any attention to your brother.....brothers are like that at times, and your dad should know better. You have to love yourself and do what is best for you. You need to really want to lose weight and be ready to start eating healthy. I know that will be hard for you if you don't have the support of your family. You need to sit down and tell them that you are going to start eating healthy and exercising and would like their support. You might want to talk to your doctor or your health teacher they can lead you in the right direction. I heard someone say that "if it doesn't have a mother, grow in the ground or on a tree DON'T put it in your mouth. I wish you all the luck in the world......YOU CAN DO IT.

Katie, I understand where you are coming from, and if you want to lose weight and get healthy, then you can do it! You've clearly got the motivation, now it's just sticking to it!

Like everyone says, start small. Walk more. I even took up running, though I couldn't run more than 20 seconds when I first started (check out the Couch to 5K plan - Google it). I lost weight but more importantly, I felt empowered. I went from not being able to run for a minute to running 10 mile races. I'm slow, but I'm doing it, and it makes me feel great! And when I'm running, it makes me want to take care of myself. If I binge on cake, the next day, I feel awful on my run. If I'm healthy, I feel much better.

But don't crash diet. Eat! Your body needs food. Just eat healthy. Watch the fried foods and high fats. But don't forget to splurge sometimes too.

A good friend of mine joined Weight Watchers when she was 15. Is this an option for you? She went to the classes and everything, and she said it was the best thing she ever did because of all the motivation she got from others.

I've been fat most of my life. I know your pain. I have recently lost 70 lbs. Never thought it would be so easy for me. I know everyone else is saying this but - I started riding an exercise bike. It's something that I can do wearing my MP3 player rocking out in my own little world for 40 minutes. I started out doing 10 minutes last October. Also keep away from Carbohydrates it makes you tired and hungrier. You have to eat 3 meals and a couple of snacks make healthy choices. If you try and starve or skip meals it doesn't work. And last but not least quit drinking soda even diet soda, drink water. Okay enough lecture. I also think you should tell your family members to lay off. Tell them it hurts your feelings. Good luck my dear!

Hey Katie,

There's been a lot of good advice in the comments I just wanted to second a lot of what is said. Honestly, I'm not that removed from where you are now. I was pretty miserable growing up, but finally got fed up with it all after high school. Different things work for different people, so always keep that in mind before you jump into one thing that someone tells you will for sure work. I never could really get into aerobic exercise, but found that I was able to actually keep up with the weightlifting. Find your thing, so you'll actually do it on a regular basis. I also started cooking my own food. I too come from an overweight family, and I finally just had to cook everything for myself. As far as family are concerned, even if you tell them about your goals they still might not be the support system that you need. I know firsthand. People don't like change or the truth sometimes. Ignore their snide remarks and find a support system outside of them if they aren't positive about your new healthier lifestyle.

I wish you the best, and I know that you can do it.

Really, the only thing you need to do to lose weight is to eat fewer calories than you use. In theory, this is possible eating horrid foods, but if you switch to more natural foods (as someone mentioned earlier, only eat things that had a mother, grew on a tree, or grew in/on the ground), you will feel better physically.

Ignore the person rambling about not eating fruit year around; last time I checked, apples kept pretty well in storage and have for thousands of for thousands of years. The only way eating less fruit will help you will be if you replace those calories with vegetables since, on average, vegetables have fewer calories.

Ignore what your family says to insult you; saying hurtful things in that vein generally just leads to a bad situation. Same as your peers. Regardless of whether or not you got "the fat gene", you are not destined to be fat. It's rather like getting a gene for breast cancer: it merely heightens your risk. You can overcome being overweight in spite of genetics.

Kate,

I can relate to where you are coming from. I have been over weight my entire life with the exception of 16 to 22 I was sick for 5 months and food was not that appealing. Now I am 46 years old and to my complete humiliation am now labeled morbidly obese. Today I downloaded the WL4I and I am giving it 100% and 2 years to get back to where I was at 21. My main motivation was twofold. 1 My little sister just got a gastric bypass and is losing weight and feeling better. 2 I too am tired of being the "fat woman". If this works, I'll let you know. Right now I am optimistic it can't be any worse than, Atkins, weight watchers, Jenny Craig and $400.00 to drink powdered shakes that taste like crap.

Hey Katie! Lets be friends. Lets keep each other motivated. I AM MOTIVATED! I have lost 10 pounds, sometimes 20 pounds on other diets, so I have a few helpful hints. Im looking for someone who wants to email eachother to keep eachother going!

Want to? If so, let me know! =] I am also ALMOST 200 pounds... like 190-something. And I'm not much older than you either!

Katie,

Your letter moved me. I understand where you are. At one point, I was 70 lbs overweight...it took me 18 months to get from a size 18 to an 8...and another year to get from an 8 to a 4 (not the size for everyone, but once I lost the weight I realized that I actually have a tiny frame)...so I KNOW that you can do this!

First off, let me second some points from the other comments. You need to find an exercise you really enjoy. Initially for me, I loved pilates and the spin bike, then later discovered weight training and swimming. Don't overexert yourself - start moderately and build over time - that will help prevent you from getting discouraged or injured. Just do a moderate form of exercise that you truly enjoy maybe 3 or 4 days a week. Try to make a friend to work out with - that will help you also! On non-workout days, just try and move a little extra. Take a nice 20-30 minute walk with some of your favorite tunes, or blast them and dance around. Don't crash diet, just start removing unhealthy and unnatural choices from your diet. Learn to love fruits, veggies, and whole grains, and steer clear of as much processed and prepackaged food as you can.

Ignore the other kids! Sit down with your family. Explain your goals and ask for their support. Hopefully they can help you by making healthier choices! It saddens me to hear that even your father is making comments - when he makes those, tell him how those comments feel and then remind him that you are trying to get healthy, and let him know that you need support, not a put-down. If your family will not support you, find someone who will - weight watchers is a good idea, or perhaps you can find a friend to take this journey with you. Sharing your goals with your PE and Health teachers is a GREAT idea. Let them help you - it's their job, and I'm sure they'd love to. Explain to your boyfriend that this is something you are doing for yourself, so that you can feel good and enjoy life even more, and ask for his support. If he is worth keeping around, he'll be behind you every step of the way - not because he wants you to look a certain way, but because your happiness is important to him.

Don't be negative! Take some time every night to visualize - picture yourself at your healthy goal - you will be there sooner that you think! I used to read Fitness magazine - they have these great stories every month about real people who've lost weight telling the stories of how they did it - complete with before and after pictures. I used to visualize my own story in the magazine - imagining every word and photo...and now I am my own after picture...you will be too.

I know it will be a struggle, but keep in mind that you will reach your goal faster if you think POSITIVE and don't let doubts and negative feelings overtake you. You WILL reach your goal. You AREN'T the fat girl anymore...you're the girl who is losing weight and getting healthy, and don't let anyone (or yourself) tell you otherwise.

my mom call me fat all the time i don't now what to do i just eat more then i have to eat my son is 2 years old when i was having him she was still calling me fat i tell her to look at her safe first before she look at me she get mad at me i don't now what to do...
and i tell my mom that I'm happy how i look because my son father love me how I'm but one thing i know that i still look good for being 20 years old and with one kid. when i was having my son i wt 215 now i wt 190 i love my body

Hi Katie,,,,I certainly can relate to you and your story because as a young girl I was overweight and then my weight escalated to over 300 pounds. In 8th grade I weighed over 200 pounds, I was sad, embarassed and was made fun of all of the time, I was a walking target. I tried diet after diet and none of them worked for me. Once I got in my 20's I knew I needed to change my life and I did. I began to exercise and the weight came off, next I learned about good nutrition but the most important part of this battle was the will I had to NEVER GIVE UP, even when I wanted to. I do not care where you are now and how many challenges come your way, stay focused one day at a time and keep reaching for the goal. Get someone to help you, get out and walk and go on line and see how good foods can help you, get rid of the junk food and hang in there. I created SHAPELYGIRL FITNESS DVD'S that might help you to begin to exercise. Keep on moving forward Kate and you will get there.

debra mazda, creator of SHAPELYGIRL FITNESS

Katie, try www.sparkteens.com - a really wonderful free resource.

Katie,
Babes this is so wierd i had just came on here to type in the same thing, i am 16 just turned n i have been bullied all my life i was always skinny n as soon at 6th grade i started piling it on n the more they bullied it made it worse, i have no dad so i just live with my mum n she was a chubby kid n has been in the same pastion as us both n she was bullied n iv cried night after night she bullys me n sed i looked like a was pregnant want its so hard i have wanted to just die so mant times its so hard to find nice clothes n feel good in them im alway so conchus in what i wear n wen i go out i think everyone is lookin at me i know they ent but i feel they are i hate it so much i have been on so many diets but nuffin works i had my prom not long ago n felt disgustin i had a break down just before it i have been so depressed about it, people say magazines n try diets but it ent as simple as dat its so hard its fine for people to say dat but its hard i ent takin pills or havin surgery but i dont fink nuffin is left i just wanna be happy in my self wen i look in mirror i feel like a beast who shudnt be alive but i need help too if something works for you then please tell me hunny :)
Best of luck
Ox.

Hellos person of the same name =) I'm going to be a senior in high school, and i've been struggling with my weight since i was in third grade. my peak was at 210 in middle school, and i felt terrible. i went into a sort of suicidal depression and absolutely hated myself. now, i have lost over 40 pounds, and i am still chubby, but i LOVE myself. you don't necessarily need to be bone-thin or the average weight for a woman. just get to a point where you can say to yourself, "hey, i actually look good today."

Love yourself, hun, because that's the only way to get through life.

Don't lose a pound. Weight loss is a waste of time. I am overweight and I just eat all kinds of high fat foods because I like to eat them and I don't care how fat I am. I realize if I keep eating this way I will probably end up weighing 500 pounds but I don't care. Even when I'm 500 pounds I will continue to eat this way. I also don't exercise because it is more fun to eat and sit around my house instead of running or doing other hard exercises. When people call me fat I just ignore them and telll them I don't care and I would rather be and that being thin is a waste of time. You would enjoy yourself too if you lived this way. I am fat and I'm not ashamed of it.

Im in the 7th grade and im 180 pounds. I can run a lap in 3:00-3:20, still slow. I dont feel beautiful AT ALL, my friends say im fluffy and that im not fat, but i am and they are all skinny-mini's. I really hate my life and i am kind of depressed because of the way i look, i always have to suck in my gut and jusr wishthat i could finally wear a bikini! that is my goal. I want to be 115 pounds and i cry so much because i cant loose it, for gods sake i dont even eat meat, i need help.

Dear Katie,
Thank you for putting your post on the internet. I am a lot like you. Except I am 25 and when I was in high school, I had a to die for body. The fat gene must have caught up with me in my adult years however. I have three beautiful children but I am five foot four and two hundred and fifty pounds. I feel horrible and think that I look even worse than I feel even though my husband tells me that I'm beautiful. My kids often make comments about mommy being fat or soft. I think if you have the strength to lose your weight than I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and lose some weight too. I think I will try that Couch to 5k plan that someone left in their comment to you. Starting today. Thanks Katie

Dear Katie,
I know it is tough being fat in middle school. Guess what? I am over 200 pounds and 1 of the most popular kids in my middle school. It took me a year to train my stomach to tuck in or like squeeze muscles in my stomach so all the fat would go in without any pain or struggle. Once I did that, the stomach didn't go away but all the fat was inside of me. Now all I had were sides. And I never actually covered that up but I tried to smile and be more friendly. And before I knew it, A lot of girls now like me ( I am a guy by the way). I am pretty sure if you do the same thing, you will have more confidence and friends. And once you did all that above, start exercising to REALLY be not fat, I've started exercising a month ago and lost 3 pounds already! Even before i tucked my stomach in I was so funny I had a lot of friends. GOOD LUCK!