I'm Sick of Not Being "tinytasha"

Actually, it is very possible and more common than often thought. My diet was reasonably healthy in the sense that I did not often eat "junk food", in fact less than once a month did I indulge in non-healthy foods. I ate slightly larger portions than I thought was ideal, but since I had not gained any weight while I smoked, and did not initially change any eating habits at all, I did not understand why I was gaining weight so rapidly. I DID write down what I ate, and the average was about 1000 calories per day. I did this to prove to the moron doctor that I was NOT over eating nor was I eating in an unhealthy manner. His comment to me was "stop eating so much" and my response was "should I stop eating altogether?". I have since been referred to a weight specialty medical program and have found THIS doctor to be more open-minded about health issues. In fact, aside from the metabolic issues which are now recognized as problematic (high cortisol levels, toxins from environment, etc), I have been finding that I have not been eating ENOUGH, and this may be what happened. My suspicion all along has been that some sort of balance established from all the toxins from smoking was established in my body, and that went to crap from quitting smoking. The experts in my program agree. As far as my daughter goes, she was exposed to the same person I was as a child...my mother, who has a weight obsession, but is less than 5 lbs overweight at any given time. She (my daughter) started gaining weight while spending some time with my mother while I had to be away for work (something that didn't help the situation). My daughter has an eating disorder as a result, which was aggravated during an extended illness of mine which lasted more than 10 years. We are not overweight for the same cause, though there are some factors(my mother being one) which are similar. For myself, an additional gain of about 40 lbs over the balance of the last 7 years has resulted, and until recently, I had not been able to lose any of it no matter what I tried. Now with the help of my medical program, I have made the decision to joing Weight Watchers and have increased my activity level dramatically. In the last week, I walked nearly 20 km, and followed the Momentum plan (with difficulty as I am seriously not used to eating so much food!)...I lost 7.2 lbs. I don't expect to lose that much consistently, however, it's the first loss I've seen in 7 years, WOO HOO!!...I have been on this journey long enough to know that it is disappointing to be constantly disappointed....I don't weigh myself, I forgive myself if I mess up, and I've come to accept that a sedentary desk job is not conducive to being the weight that makes me healthy, so I'm pushing outside of my comfort zone and getting moving...it's getting easier when my muscles don't rebel as they did yesterday, but it's still a struggle to want to do those things.