This site has some good tips and advice but i was hoping to blog about my journey. So this is sort of the beggining of it. Every day i just hate myself. I won't look at my own body in the mirror and absolutely hate pictures. I avoid them at all costs and when someone catches me off guard, it ends up on Facebook for the world to see. I hate these pictures, they show a big inflated me. I'm in highschool and all my friends are natually drop dead 10s. They all have the perfect body and spend the day drinking pop and eating candy. I feel as if i'm the chubby friend.
Over the course of school, i wore a size 7 in junior high and stuggled with my weight. Soon after i stopped taking medication for depression, i dropped weight and had the goddess body i miss. Just last year i fit a size 1. Now i'm up to a 5 and it really sucks. Some days i stay home from school because none of my clothes fit. This is the tricky part.... I work out, but this isnt muscle weight, this is excess body fat. I do pilates 3 days a week, and 4 or 5 days of cardio. I do a little running and even lift weights, but my weight won't budge!! I'm 5 4' and 127.
According to BMI thats ok but i'm not happy with it at all. AHHHH Its so incredibly frusterating. I don't feel like i constantly eat junk food. I have even cut out all pop. I have a lot of problems with binge eating ( not purging and not starving myself) So what do i do?? Cut carbs?? Dairy?? Sugar?? I just want to stop hating myself and be able to put on a swim suit. I want to be able to like a picture of me and love my body. I want to look like my friends and i want men to want to date me. I feel hopeless and lost and that exercising is getting me no where. I need some inspiration or motivation or proof that i can change my body!!
weight training will help you raise your metabolism, lose fat and get fitter so you might weigh the same but you'll actually be smaller.
ReplyHi there, I know you might not take this the right way, but this sounds like something you need to be dealing with in therapy.
ReplyYour weight is fine and even if you do ultimately decide that you'd be happier 5 or even 10 pounds lighter, there's no way that that amount of weight makes you a monster while your friends are all 10's. This sounds psychological. I hope you don't feel judged, because I have definitely felt similarly at times. But it sounds like you are fit, healthy and a size 7. Not exactly hopeless. Please consider therapy because it sounds like this thinking it making your life hell and it doesn't have to be this way.
No offense, but I think the guy who said you need therapy is right. You should work on your personality, maybe your hair, clothes, and makeup, because it is not your size. Just look at the media, curvy women are in. You need to deal with the psychological issues that are scaring people away. I don't know any guy that would date a girl that "hated" herself. Guys are attracted to confidence; join a club and do something more with yourself than just stare in the mirror. Many people who are obsessed with themselves, also hate themselves. Maybe you hate how boring your life is. As for exercise, I give myself a 5 lb range to fluctuate, count calories occasionally, and call it a day. You need to get a life, honestly. I salsa dance once a week and that is for fun, not because of someone else. Good luck. I wish you the best.
ReplyI have story just like yours but I waited until I was in my 30's to lose the weight. I was 200 pounds and now I am 118 and a size 1. Losing the weight was a huge blessing in my life and now I help others lose weight too, but even though I am now a size 1 it hasn't changed how I felt inside. I know how you are feeling and your weight is fine. You just need to keep yourself in check so you don't go back up. You said that you binge eat, when you feel the need to binge eat don't eat your normal binging foods. Eat some almonds instead at least this way you are eating something that won't have a bad effect on your body which would get you even more down about yourself. Be aware of what you are doing but don't focus on it. It is easy to forget your skinny when you have been overweight before (if that makes sense). Anyway, if you want to read more about my story you can on my site just see my profile to go to my site. My email is on my site too so if you just need an ear you are welcome to email me anytime, I know how you feel and you are doing just fine where your weight is at now. Good luck!
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