Low Self-Esteem in Kids May Lead to Obesity

No surprise... low self esteem, emotional issues.. many people take this stuff out on food. They bury their loneliness & anger in food. A well known fact.

The question is, how are they going to go about promoting "self-esteem". There's a good book (admittedly written with the US as the subject) called Generation Me which talks about the rise of the concept of self-esteem and the positive and negative effects it has had. It's pretty interesting.

If we tried to yield a cultural shift to take the comfort and reward out of food, though, that'd be better.

Absolutely,that is 100percent true.

I can definitely see the link. When I was in middle school, I was an awkward, nerdy kid. I wore dorky clothes, played the clarinet, and was pretty introverted. Needless to say, I didn't have many friends and I definitely didn't have any boyfriends in high school. I also didn't really worry about my weight or appearance much; I was quite overweight throughout all of my teen years. Once I got to college and was around different people and had more opportunities to improve my self-esteem, I started caring about my appearance and health more.

Obesity is no joke. In a world where models are super skinny it is no surprise that children start comparing themselves to such ‘ideals’. When kids on the portly side then feel that they fall short, food is right there to take the pain away. Now self esteem suffers... That can start a vicious cycle for life (and early death). - But how can children begin to build self esteem and self confidence needed to stand up against such pressures? Here is a dynamite method anyone can practice that helps children build self esteem – brick by brick:
1) First place the child in a relaxing position – like in bed or in his favorite chair.
2) Create a calm atmosphere by dimming the lights and playing soft calm music.
3) Work trough a 3 minute relaxation exercise with your child using relaxing suggestions (“Your legs feel heavy, warm and relaxed”, “Your arms feel warm, relaxed and heavy” etc).
4) Then tell a story with a quest theme. A story where the child explores a magic kingdom - or something similar – and where there is an important mission ahead. The story has to be told in such a fashion that the child is the main character. He or she is the hero (very important).
5) Along the way there should be challenges where the child is getting time to imagine how to overcome obstacles. At the completion of such tasks, you interject small positive affirmations (“That was great! – You did that perfectly!” “That is because you are such a smart kid!” etc.)
6) Finally, the quest is completed and the ones your child helped along the way celebrate. Again this is a good place to interject positive affirmations.
7) Let the music play for a while longer and watch your child relax and frequently doze off.

All this can sound a bit daunting. But it works! – After repeating this method for just a few days, you begin to see noticeable improvement in your child’s demeanor. He is happier. More self confident and ready to tackle new challenges. Food binging declines and he starts taking better care of himself.

Of course this makes sense! We have a rule in our house that if anyone says something bad about themself, then they have to say something good about themselves that they like.

So, if my daughter says, "I'm bad at maths home work", she then has to say something positive. For example, "I am a great swimmer and love reading books."

Of course, I have to model the behaviour too and stick to my positives. :) We also use a system of "build-ups" which is taught at their school where you say good things to your class mates to help 'build them up', rather than 'cut them down' with words. These things take some effort at first but are now more of a habit that I hope stays with my children as they get older.

"Children with a lower self-esteem, those who felt less in control of their lives, and those who worried often were more likely to gain weight over the next 20 years."

Maybe, they were also more likely to end up poor or less likely to take up exercise? Anyways, this is another correlation not causation type study that is impossible to prove.

It's an evil circle. Low self-esteem lead to obesity and obesity leads to low self-esteem.

How to build self-esteem without building self importance (more effective in the long run):

Don't overly praise attributes they have no control over. This includes looks, intelligence, athletic / musical talent, etc. Looks and talent are actually worthless.

Encourage interest, hard work, passion, cooperation, understanding, empathy (for oneself and others), and enjoyment of process.

"What did you enjoy about that?"
"What do you think you learned?"
"How did that make you feel?"
"How do you think that made him/her feel?"
"I think it's awesome you found something you enjoy!"

This approach will lead happier kids in the long run. I know it seems "better" to praise talent, but this actually puts all the value / self worth into the talent, and there is no impetus to change or improve.