BeltzBib: Buckle Up and Stuff Your Face
Look at that ridiculous thing! It's called the BeltzBib, and for just $13.95 you get a bib that attaches to your seatbelt, letting you gorge on nachos without risk of dribbling melted cheese on your big fat shirt while driving your big fat SUV.
When you're done devouring - and hopefully didn't drive off the road or kill someone while stuffing your face - the bib is super convenient to store away:
When you are finished eating, remove BeltzBib™ from the shoulder harness, roll BeltzBib™ up and secure it with the attached Velcro fitting. Place BeltzBib™ under your vehicle seat for the remainder of your journey. When you arrive at your destination, unroll BeltzBib™, remove any food particles or wrappers, place BeltzBib™ in your washing machine or hand wash it.
Ugh, this is outstanding jackass-ery at its best, or worst. I rank it somewhere in between toilet candy and mechanical spinning ice cream cones.
I weep for our species, I really do.
Via Jalopnik and Dan's Products.
More like this in Weird · May 28, 2009
23 Comments
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Awesome! Totally awesome! How did I ever live without it?
ReplyThat's quite insane. I don't understand the whole eating in the car thing, anyway, and I never do it. A sip of water, at most, if I'm really thirsty. I think the bicycle is a more civilized way to travel, anyway.
ReplyThis is just crazy! Even when I was fat and used to eat in the car all the time I never would have considered using this. What will they think of next?
ReplyHow is he steering? Must be the new steering wheel for your feet, to give your hands a rest. Wouldn't want to work too hard, now! Gimme a break.
Seriously, this type of wacked out stuff is everywhere. I just learned about EarthExerFit Shoes - that apparently "burn more calories than normal shoes."
How do they do this? By forcing your feet into a hyper-flexed position, dis-integrating normal human locomotion so that it feels like you're walking on an incline treadmill all the time. They say "you will actually be burning fat and building more muscles with every single step." They don't tell you that you'll also be virtually guaranteeing plantar fasciitis, knee and ankle problems, lower back pain, and postural changes.
As tempting as it is to give up on continued development of the human race, I know that there are still some rare, few individuals out there that actually question conventional wisdom and positively contribute to humanity and the world we live in. Some people wouldn't sponsor an insulting product like BeltzBib if you paid them a large sum of money.
Best regards,
John Sifferman
ReplyThere's nothing inherently wrong with driving an SUV.
An SUV with 8 passengers, for example, is getting better gas mileage per person than a small sedan with one person.
Please try and keep the Green Fascism to a minimum. Thanks.
ReplyHow many times is an SUV actually carrying 8 passengers? About as often as it is actually going off road - virtually never.
ReplyExactly, Ann. You prove my point. There's nothing inherently wrong with an SUV. You should talk to the person driving it alone if you have a problem.
I suspect you favor gun control as well.
ReplyThere may not be anything inherently wrong with an SUV that is never driven unless it is filled to capacity, but there is definitely something inherently wrong with the way SUVs are used in the United States - which is that they are the primary commuter vehicle for people to go to work or run errands - by themselves or with one to three other people in the car. Even if you put eight people in an SUV, you could have put that many in a minivan and get better fuel economy. Basically, you have to put eight people in an SUV, and then go off-roading through the wilderness for owning the vehicle to make any sense at all.
ReplyAgreed, so many people seem to have SUVs and trucks for the mere show value. I have relatives with SUVs and trucks who actually use them; they may not go off road, but the extra space is put to the use for which it was designed: to move things (furniture, a giant vacuum cleaner to help clean up a miniature flood in a store, copious amounts of raked leaves, etc.).
ReplyI suspect that your rational against gun control is the Second Amendment. If you read its actual text, it does not favor universal gun ownership.
Reply*Rationale, correction.
ReplyAbsolutely! I get so tired of these self-righteous people prostelitizing. And what is wrong with a bib to keep your clothes clean. I weep for "Gerry".
ReplyWow, okay so maybe it would be fine in a passenger or back seat.
But a driver seat? Can u say accidents much?
I Mean come on, what are these people trying to do? kill us these days damn fool.
Like sure i may just be 15 but i know a lot more then other teen age girls. I'm not an idiot. come to ur sences please and stop making stupid and senseless thing.
Okay?
Deuces loves(:
Replyha... well at least they wont get all messy in the car.
I really don't see why people can't eat before they step in their car or what the HUGE hurry is that they can't wait to get to their destination, then eat.
It's not like food ISN'T everywhere around us... Instant gratification will be the death of us. Or, most of us.
ReplyGood Lord, what will they come up with next? I can barely drive and drink a soda or coffee at the same time, let alone eat an actual meal while driving. I can't wait to see how many people will start eating, texting, and driving all at the same time...THIS is why I'm scared to drive.
What we need to do is to have all the cars here go back to having manual transmissions (mine does). It's tough to shift and steer AND eat at the same time. That's why European cars don't have cupholders, lol.
ReplyI agree! How can you concentrate on driving while stuffing your face. Sounds dangerous for the other drivers.
ReplyIn Australia you get fined for texting or talking on your mobile while driving. I hope this bib never makes it to Australia. If it does I hope it gets banned!
right on! i drive stick as well. More fun, better control, forces you to focus on driving. Brilliant. I didn't even think of this... guess I've been driving this way for so long its a habit.
ReplyYes, it's almost impossible to do anything while driving stick other than drive, besides taking a second to fiddle with the radio.
Replyi eat and drive and have a stick. It takes practice but it can be done. It's a skill I've developed that I'm not proud of. A stick is not a prohibitive factor when it comes to a nice greasy burger.
ReplyBend over so I can spank you.
ReplyHOLY CRAP! Hey, I could put my healthy stuff in there but don't want to eat & drive at the same time.. kinda like cell phone talking or texting while driving.. not paying attention & next thing you know... especially here in busy southern CA!
PLUS, mindless eating.. no thought process of how much you are even stuffing in you... not a good thing!
ReplyHaha, I could tell before the jump that this was a Gerry post -- the hook just had his flavor.
I don't really see the problem with this bib... now if they could invent one that stores my makeup for when I'm applying my face on the highway....
:-D I kid of course.
ReplyPersonally, I think it's a pretty good invention! Probably good if you have kids that eat in the backseat of the SUV. May save your car from a mess!
Reply