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Make Anything Count As Exercise: A Guide for the Unmotivated

Creative commons licenced image from Flickr by billiebee
After the Secret Guide to Making Any Food Calorie-Free unearthed a wealth of hitherto-unknown "facts" about calories from Diet Blog's expert readers (eg. "There are no calories if you eat while walking") I thought we could do with learning how to make anything count as exercise.

Thought you had it sorted with your three cardio sessions and your regular weights training? You might be working much harder than you need to. Here's some ground-breaking new information about exercise, along with the accompanying logic...

"Everything you do at the gym counts as exercise."

This includes...

  • Standing impatiently in line to get in
  • Drinking freshly-squeezed juice at the juice bar
  • Relaxing in the sauna
  • Slowing down to a "gentle" pace on the cross-trainer to chat to your friend

We all know that going to the gym makes us fit: it doesn't matter what we do in there. Merely being inside those four walls and breathing the gym air (with its slight but unmistakable odor of "eau de sweaty bloke" and "machine grease") makes your muscles grow bigger and stronger.


"You need lots of carbs before you do any exercise."

This includes...

  • A short stroll to the corner shop
  • A cycle-ride round the local park
  • Rolling up your sleeves and doing the housework

All those Olympic athletes have to carb-load: so do you! We all know about Phelps's diet, right? If you eat like him, maybe you could be an Olympic swimmer too. And if you don't get enough carbohydrate into you before exercising, you risk collapsing exhausted half-way to the shop...


"All forms of exercise are created equal."

This includes...

  • A slow stroll and a fast sprint
  • Lifting weights and doing cardio
  • A "contemplative yoga" class and a "maximum velocity spinning" class

So long as you do thirty minutes of exercise five times a week you're meeting the minimum requirements. Who really wants to bother distinguishing "light" exercise from "vigorous"?

I bet some of Diet Blog's readers know lots of similar exercise rules that I've missed - so please add them in the comments!

(Disclaimer: The above "rules" are not intended to replace conventional exercise advice! Look through the articles about exercise to find out the real facts.)

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26 Comments

Methuselah - Pay Now Live Later

My girlfriend has a genius for talking about the gym. If talking about how you're going to start going to the gym or how you used to go to the gym was equivalent to a workout I swear she'd look like Arnie by now....

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Trent

You forgot everyone's favorite: doing housework! Vacuuming alone will put you on the path to 6-pack abs. Nevermind the fact that you've been vacuuming your house once a week for the last 5 years...it will be a much healthier activity now that you have read about it!

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Ms Diet Pill

I agree do housework is the best way to assist weight loss, because we have no enough time to spend to do gym and housework, i can only choose one.

Rgds
Ms Diet Pill

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Deborama

I know several of these secret rules.
1. The slightest amount of movement is vigorous exercise if you are wearing running shoes, so wear your running shoes all day long.
2. If you exercise, you sweat. Therefore it follows that if you sweat, you must be exercising. So wear uncomfortably warm clothing, including at night while sleeping.
3. Watching videos and TV shows of people exercising is exercise.
4. When you are too tired to take the stairs (because of all that exercise!) and you take the lift, just jiggle and fidget and imagine yourself walking up stairs. This makes it take the same amount of energy as actually walking up the stairs!

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nodietneeded

Well... according to a recent post, if you think about gym or exercising (anything for that matter), you burn calories so thinking about gym is a good! exercise. If this is out of question, then think about good reasons for not going to the gym today, that'll also do.
My favorite is, when pushing weight, if you groan loudly, you will burn more calories...
The most important thing NOT TO DO is putting the weights back to their stands, if you do this you will get all the calories back that were burned during the exercise...

Reply
Supplements

My favorite thing is to take the stairs instead of the elevator. Done consistently you can burn a ton of additional calories.

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NeoVitin

These are pretty good. Nothing here is more true than people believe that a walk is just as good as fast paced exercise. Any exercise is better than no exercise, but there is a huge difference between slow paced activities, and vigorous ones.

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Spectra

LOL, when I read this post, I thought of a woman I used to work with who asked me what my exercise routine was. When I told her I run 60 or 70 miles a week, jump rope 3 or 4 times a week, and lift weights several times a week, she always responded "Hmm. Well, I walk 30 minutes 3 times a week and I should be losing weight with all that working out!" As if walking 30 minutes 3 times a week was the same as running 70 miles a week.

There are a couple of other "rules" you forgot: If you're wearing a sports bra, whatever you are doing is exercise. Also, if you are doing anything remotely productive (ie, mowing the lawn, changing oil in the car, putting away groceries, unloading the dishwasher, etc.), you are working out.

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Katie

Except that if you are using a push mower, not a rider mower or one that you just follow behind, that probably does qualify as a workout! But yeah, putting away groceries hardly qualifies.

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tulu

True story: I know a girl who is 4'11'' and 225 pounds. She always talks about not caring about her weight since she is active and doesn't overeat and yet she doesn't lose weight. I asked her what she does for exercsie and she said she walks to the bus stop everyday. That's her exercise. I just had to shake my head.

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Deborama

Yeah, well, don't be so quick to judge. What if she lives 25 miles from the bus stop. eh? Bet you didn't think about that. And some of the commenters here - either they didn't get that it was supposed to be funny or they have no sense of humour at all. And here's a little hint about humour - if it isn't directed at yourself, it is just whiny criticism dressed up with a dash of sarcasm and not attractive. Look at your own weight loss efforts, for good or ill, and don't harp on how bad other people are.

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Ali Hale

I know we all react differently to humor -- yes, my post was supposed to be funny, and I've been guilty of a lot of the "cheating" there myself!

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tulu

I said I know the girl, and I know where she lives and where she catches the bus. So maybe you need to stfu and skip past my post if it bothers you so much.

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Jim

Anything you do while wearing running shoes counts as exercise...

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Dr. J

Unfortunately, I only do one thing in running shoes :-(

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Gabrielle

Danceing is such good exercise that it doesn't matter what kind of cocktail you have in your hand while doing it or how many you have to go through to start.

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Kathleen Nemargut

This is a great Post Ali. I think so many people over exaggerate how hard they are working...and under exaggerate how much they are eating :). I will say though that every little bit does add up in movement, whether it be cleaning, shopping, walking, cooking...all these things burn calories.

I see so many of my clients bust their butt in the gym and then go home and sit down for the rest of the night. You have to find a balance that works and remember that everything adds up.

But no matter how much you are moving or pushing yourself in the gym, if your not eating in a deficit you're not going to get anywhere.

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Sally

I get 'winded' easily due to my health conditions, but I've been doing the 10 Minute Trainer. TEN Minutes. I was so excited that I actually could do it. Yes, There's a couple of things I had to modify but overall I felt pretty good!

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Mary

Hey guys! I am a new visitor to this blog and was just going through all your comments and tips. Well for me work out mainly constitutes of running after my three year old son who is extremely energetic and naughty. I make it a point to go to park everyday with him and run around with the kids. It is very refreshing and fills me with a new verve every day and yes, it does help me burn a lot of calories. This way I get to spend quality time with my son and also get a quick work out.

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Heather

Oh yes, I have one!

If you have a small child, that provides all the exercise you could possibly need ever. So no need to run or weight train or any of that baloney.

Oh, and at that, if you've had a kid in the last 6 years, you have to take your exercise easy because you're still recovering.

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Spectra

Ha, if you believe all the celebrity moms out there, "chasing their kids" is the only exercise they get and they still maintain their fabulous bodies, lol. Riiiiight.

Reply
Weight Loss

Weight loss industry will focus on the way people should feel while doing it, in order to achieve better results and stay healthy all the time. Being healthy and thin is not a dream, it should be something, that is a reasonable and easy to be done.

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Katelyn

Check out my blog- diet tips, tricks, and general health!

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personal trainer

Anyone would think that just paying your monthly gym fee burned calories! And that some people think 30 minutes housework can reverse the calories from a burger is madness!

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Weight Loss Plan

30 minutes of housework could burn the calories from a burger IF if only had about 200 calories in it, like a kiddie burger. Unfortunately, the burger places have us convinced that we nee double patties, bacon, and cheese poured over our burgers or it isn't any good.

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Charles

Going out to the club and dancing is definitely good cardio.

Playing virtual games at ESPN Zone and nintendo wii fit should also count.

Reply

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