Finding Balance in a Culture of Vanity and Guilt

Shielding our kids is a part of our nature and it has a huge influence on their mental modeling. In our search for happiness and health, we must not forget that dealing with children is different than dealing with adults. Grownups see things differently than children do, and as parents, we must understand the way that our children see the world. We must motivate and encourage them in order for them to grow up feeling that they have support, especially in times of insecurity.

every parent wants to believe their child is perfect, no matter what. even my mother, who is not physically fit, always told me i was gorgeous the way i was, 4'6" and 158 lbs is not healthy for a child in middle school. and the emotional effects haunt me to this day; i was teased relentlessly during gym classes, even just walking down the hallway was a walk of shame for me. kids are wonderful, if their a little heavy, its easier to catch it now than to let it get too far and they have those self esteem issues and bad eating habbits for the rest of their lives, only to pass on to their kids. we can stop the cycle now with some great advice from diet-blog. but no, ignorance is not bliss in this situation.

Some of what Adbusters writes is intelligent and compelling. Unfortunately it's lost in a sea of mindless leftwing anti-capitalist garbage.

Great article, but what ever happened to accepting people for who they are. We have become the creator of all these things and are appalled when our monster doesn't behave the way we programmed him/her. It goes back to the argument was the remote for the TV genius for its simplicity or a contributor to obesity because we no longer need to get up to change a channel.

I have a daughter going to college in a week and through her and her friends I've seen it all when it comes to body image issues. One had to be hospitalized because her pulse was down to 30 beats per minute and countless others have binged and purged. A few are on Ridilan for ADD and in my opinion, don't need to be, but they like how it works as an appetite suppressant.

I eat healthfully...only real food. No supplements, high fructose corn syrup, no trans fats...just lean meats, whole grains, lowfat dairy, good fats, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. That's what my daughter has witnessed over the years and she's seen that the result of that is maintaining a healthy body weight…plus a few pounds in either direction.

She doesn't always eat like me. She will at some point, but she's a teenager and teenagers have some bad eating habits. They are temporary however and I don't ever make a big deal of them. I also don't comment much when my daughter or one of her friends asks me if it looks like they've been gaining weight. I just smile and say you're beautiful, how do you feel?

I'm doing two things. One, not repeating the word, "look" because focusing on looks is a big part of today's body image problem. Secondly, I'm emphasizing that a healthy body weight makes you feel good and energetic and is an indicator of what's going on inside your body. When you eat the right foods, you feel energized rather than sluggish. So when one of these beautiful young adult women question if their bad eating habits are creating a problem for them, I subtly guide the conversation back to how they feel.

Nowadays, my daughter doesn’t ask because she knows what I’m going to say, but I still tell her she's beautiful everyday. I guess in a week, I’m going to have to call her everyday to tell her.

http://blog.thelistbykamigray.com/

I think it's really important for parents wanting to help their kids with body image to spend time engaging with their kids and learning how they percieve themselves in their world.

I know I didn't understand, at the age of 10, why I weighed more than many female classmates. I had no idea that height and bone structure played a role in that. I still had more bodyfat, but I wasn't as huge as my young mind percieved given the 30lb difference.

I was 5'5 at 10 when most girls weren't taller than 5'. I have a medium to large bone structure where a lot of girls in my class were petite.

My perspective could have been corrected with some extended conversations with my folks but it was something I was too humiliated to talk about and they didn't know it was an issue.

I don't think this information is just for teens. Low self-esteem doesn't stop when we become adults.

I find it so easy to become overwhelmed by advertising coming at me from all directions. On one hand, telling me to eat more and on the other, to lose weight now. I think it's so important to just stop and look at what we really are and really need. I don't need to eat more and I don't need to lose weight. So why change?

Somewhere along the line, the food industry has made us lose trust in our own instincts. Once we've lost trust in ourselves, who do we ask for help? but the diet industry. But in truth, we don't need either. That's why we all need to tell each other how beautiful and lovely we are, so we don't get lost in the vortex of dieting, gyming and bingeing.

I really like this comment on the main article.

Submitted by Adam on Mon, 03/24/2008 - 22:47.
There was never such a thing as 'good ole fashioned balance'. Don't get nostalgic for a world that never was! 'Balance' is only a notion now because it's achievable. For the vast majority of humans in the world now and historically, 'balance' is the result of thwarted greed. Constant struggle creates the illusion of harmony; gazelles and lionesses don't do what they do to maintain Elton's Circle of Life.

If you think about our eating habits from a historical perspective, it helps explain alot. If food was scarce, we binged when faced with it! Our bodies are not prepared for the abundance of food we have in America.

I think it's important to allow children to accept themselves for who they are, while at the same time helping them make healthy decisions, and not fall into the trap of becoming excessively overweight. I think there is a difference between being content with yourself, and not caring. When children or adults for that matter don't care it leads to obesity and health issues. I think that parents should help children get past vanity, and look at teaching them how to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I thank God every day that my parents always accepted me and my siblings no matter what. I mean, yeah, I wasn't exactly a skinny child, but my parents constantly told me how smart I was, how good I was at reading, how much of a help I was around the house, etc. It's very important to cultivate the traits in your kids that are going to last their whole lives...beauty and looks are very fleeting, but good skills will be with your kids forever. My parents did sort of shelter us from most of the media influences out there, but for the most part, we just dismissed most of it as fake anyway. Which, let's face it, in this day and age of Photoshop, most of it is.

ah i read the article and what hit me was, what's the heck is wrong with green tea and rice cakes. why do you see it as a "diet" food. you know a large part of the world sees it them as just as much of a snack as chocolate and ice cream.
this is all so messed up.

This site is very nice While browsing through the magazine section of a local bookstore for me wish he all the best.