The 7 Hamburgers of the Apocalypse
Hamburgers, next to apple pie and statins they're the ambassadors of American cuisine--for better or for worse--and these harbingers of heart disease might be the baddest of all.
Here are 7 over the top hamburgers that are guaranteed to clog your arteries by just looking that them:
1. The Quadruple Bypass Burger
The Quadruple Bypass Burger from the Heart Attack Grill; four burger patties with side orders of Jolt Cola, unfiltered Lucky Strike cigarettes and French fries deep-fried in pure lard.
2. Big Daddy Barrick Burger
Sonya Thomas, a 5'5 99-pound competitive eating champion, downed an 18 pound Big Daddy Barrick Burger in Las Vegas a few years ago.
3. The Hotdog Hamburger
This one hails from England. I'm not sure what it's called, but it's a hamburger with a chopped hotdog on top.
4. Mulligan's Monster
Mulligan's invented the Hamdog, one hotdog wrapped in a beef patty and cheese, then deep-fried, covered with chili and onions and served on a bun with a fried egg on top.
5. Dyer's Burgers
Dyer's Burgers are deep-fried hamburgers piled with mustard, onion and pickle and paired with a single, double or triple-order of cheese fries.
6. Whatafarm Burger
Whataburger puts the entire farm in one sandwich; bacon, cheese, fried egg, burger patty, and chicken cutlet. They affectionately call it the "Whatafarm" burger.
7. Luther Burger
Another Mulligan's creation, the Luther Burger. Named after Luther Vandross it's a bacon cheeseburger sandwiched between two glazed donuts.
Now, I hope you all find it incredibly ironic that a guy who doesn't eat meat was asked to compile a list of monstrous hamburgers. I do.
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Okay, just looking at most of those makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'm a vegetarian, but I look at burgers and hot dogs every day at work, yet...ick. Especially the Luther burger. It doesn't even sound appetizing, except maybe to the subset of people who just want to be able to say that they've eaten it.
ReplyI'm not gonna lie, that whatafarm burger looks pretty good actually. In a weird fast food sort of way anyhow.
Replyokay i thought the same thing. i would love to try it.
ReplyIf only the made those with kitten meat. As much flaming as I will get from that comment, if you haven't tried eating kitten then you do not deserve to response. Kitten is healthier than beef, more tender than beef and really does taste better.
Have a great day.
ReplyI've had dog meat tacos while in Korea, but never kitten - sounds delish! I might add a side of deep fried hamster legs. Yummmmm
ReplyI feel the same way about vegetarian food. I see it everyday at work and I want to puke it's so gross.
ReplyOh shut your hole ya wussie and eat a burger already! Who's tired of whiny vegetarians?? Most of veg chicks don't shave either, nasty and a deal breaker.
ReplyThat's a big assumption, and you know what happens when you assume. Many of those burgers sound absolutely delish, especially the one between glazed donuts. YUMMM!
What's up with this vegetarian craze anyway?! Human beings were created to be omnivores (meaning to consume both meat and plants); our bodies will not be as healthy if we skip half the stuff our bodies rely on. Not to mention, I find it hard to believe that anyone could smell a grilling burger and not want to eat it immediately. You guys are just brainwashing yourselves into believing you don't like meat.
ReplyAnna
Last year, I made a very difficult decision because I didn't want to take medication. I went vegan to lower my cholesterol and I succeeded. Many people are ignorant when it comes to a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle. It took me reading everything that I could get my hands on to switch over healthfully. Now, when I even smell hamburger meat, I want to vomit. The rest of my family still eats meat, so I am constantly cooking with different kinds of meat, and have no desire to go back.
The one thing that I dislike about being a vegan is that everyone thinks that I am going to try to push my lifestyle on them. I have never and will never try to convince anyone to give up meat products. That is such an individual decision much like religion and I hate when someone pushes their religion on me.
It would be nice if people would respect the way I choose to eat as I respect yours. One last thing...don't knock it unless you have tried it.
ReplyI don't believe that they created the "Luther" burger. It was a feature on an episode of the Adult Cartoon "The Boondocks" :/
ReplyNone of these look appetizing to me.
According to Atkins afficionados, the only problems with those burgers are the buns. :-)
Replywhere have you been all my life?
ReplyProbably knees deep in a pond of lard.
ReplyWow, aren't you edgy.
ReplyAnd aren't you quick to assume people are being jerks!
ReplyI love drama. Keep it coming!
Replyooh, a chick fight! I got ten on the veggie girl with fuzzy pits, those hippie schwillie mamas are tough...i think it's all the patchouli!
ReplyAtkins is totally retarded. You know why he died from a simple head injury right? Because carbs are brain food. He did not have the available source of energy to repair his brain after falling on the ice. He was so into cutting the carbs from his diet, it killed him.
ReplySimple brain injury? He slipped on ice leaving his house, hitting the back of his head on a cement step, pushing a 1/4 inch chunk of skull into his brain, causing it to swell. Same thing happened to my sister and she was 24 and not on Atkins.
Watch what bandwagon you want to jump on and make sure your know your flag you want to wave it.
You should read up before you run your mouth and sound like a 8th grade idiot.
Reply"Watch what bandwagon you want to jump on and make sure your know your flag you want to wave it.
You should read up before you run your mouth and sound like a 8th grade idiot."
I'm guessing the irony is lost on you.
ReplySorry to hear about your sister. For others who may be interested, keeping your head up when you fall on your back is the first thing they teach you to do in judo.
ReplyFunny, for me it was cleaning the mat with a damp cloth.
ReplyThe Atkins diet was just shown to be superior to 2 other "healthy" diets in weight loss AND cholesterol reduction in the largest and longest term diet comparison ever published (done by researchers in Singapore and Australia). I lost 55 pounds on the Atkins in 1984 and I've kept it off for 24 years. I also went off the diabetes medication and the cholesterol medication I had been on.
"Brain food?" Don't know about you, but I completed my Master's and PhD after the diet. So I'm not dumber, just crazier.
ReplyYou can find a study to say anything when you look as far away as Singapore and Australia.
Atkins is unhealthy on many levels. It causes a condition called Ketosis where you body is not getting enough sugars found in Carbohydrates so it looks elsewhere in the body including muscle tissue. The reason it works at weight loss is because it is literally starving the body of necessary sugars it needs.
The only real diet that will ever work is adjusting eating habits.
Though it didn't kill him, Dr. Atkins did have a Heart Attack in 2002. http://archives.cnn.com/2002/HEALTH/diet.fitness/04/25/atkins.diet/index.html
ReplyJust a simple comment. If you really want to reduce cholesterol, try not eating anything made from animals. www.govegan.com
Replyif god didnt want us eating meat, why did he make it so darn tasty?
ReplyMeat is darn tasty and God had nothing to do with it. In the words of Einstein, "religion is childish".
BTW, cholestorol does not come from eating red meat, as one poster wrote. The Maasai's main diet is beef and milk and they have virtually no cholesterol, thanks to their lifestyle. However, when Maasai move to the city, their cholesterol goes up. Besides the sedentary lifestyle and rich, processed foods the city has to offer, the stress of living in a city could also be a factor.
ReplyEinstein also said:
"Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet."
ReplyOr one could eat meats very low in Carbs and Chl. Kittens, Seals and Horse meat are all good alternatives.
ReplyYou do realize you only cut carbs for the first week right? You eat vegetables after that.
ReplyAs a FFB (Former Fat Boy), I am offended that you would post such a dangerous and evieeel (see Mike Myers in So I Married an Axe Murderer) list of fast food burgers on a site that claims to be concerned about the health of America's children.
They are our future, you know.
Oh wait, hold on a sec.
My pizza, ice cream and bucket o' lard delivery is here, gotta go.
Peace
ReplyOh gawd! Bacon cheeseburger between glazed donuts?
I used to think that a loco moko was dakine, but...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loco_Moco
ReplyHeavens, my chest hurts from just reading those descriptions! I'm all for a great cheeseburger now and then (I'd love them more often, but the hips don't lie...I've enjoyed them too often in the past!), but sheesh, those are a bit over the top!
ReplyI like a good cheeseburger, but those do not look appetizing at all. The Luther Burger is like a burger that a small pro baseball team near where I live made. They got a lot of press because they offered a cheeseburger between a doughnut. Without even considering the health issues, I don't see how anyone can like the taste of that.
Replywhat i want to know: how sonya thomas can be a competitive eater AND be 5'5" and 99 lbs.
i'm barely 5'2" and i'm her weight. yet i watch, weigh, and count what i eat like a hawk and i hit the gym 3x a week. life's not fair. boo.
ReplyI drive by a gym 5 days a week.
ReplyCompetitive eaters throw up after the competitions. They just regularly stretch their stomachs with water intake.
Replyi found my answer:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2005/05/26/eat.DTL
apparently ms. thomas runs on a treadmill for 90 minutes a day. she only eats one meal a day - burger king. but she holds the mayo.
ReplyUmm, she must have an interesting odor about her....
ReplyAs a vegetarian, I found those burgers to be unappetizing
and totally disgusting.
To think that anybody would even think about eating those lard-laden sludgeballs is beyond me.
Reply"Lard" is the white solid or semisolid rendered fat of a hog....a pig, not a cow. Just some FYI.
ReplyActually, what makes hamburger different from regular ground beef is the fact that it contains pork fat. Hence "Ham"burger.
Just FYI.
ReplyThe word hamburger comes from Hamburg steak, which originated in the German city of Hamburg. Contrary to what folk etymology might lead one to believe, there is no actual 'ham' in a hamburger.
ReplyA typical way of eating meat in Hamburg and much of northern Europe is a very fat patty, usually made of both ground beef and pork... the German name for this is "FRIKADELLE"... it was certainly much easier to say "Hamburger" than that other word for Americans after Hamburg traders introduced them to this.
ReplyHamburgers include pork fat? I don't think so.
The Hamburg orgin is correct I believe.
ReplyFRIKADELLE is a mix of both ground beef and ground pork.
Regarding lard - that was in reference to the comment "lard-laden" slugballs....there is no lard in a normal hamburger that's 100% beef.
ReplyIsn't it pretty impossible to get ground beef that's 100% lean? The leanest I've ever seen is 97% lean/3% fat. Still, beef fat isn't lard; it's technically called "tallow". "Lard" is pork fat.
Reply100% beef means only beef is in it, whether it's lean or fat we're talking about. 97/3 = 100% that is 97% lean, 3% fat.....no pork in it.
ReplyMan, I could reallllly go for a slugball right now.
ReplyYour ignorance runneth over. There is no pork in a hamburger. Hamburgers are 100% beef, named, as others have mentioned, for the city of Hamburg.
ReplyI couldn't agree with you more! Just reading about it makes me want to puke. WHO EATS THIS STUFF?????
ReplyAs a vegetarian, aren't you supposed to find ALL burgers unappetizing?
ReplyI'm a vegetarian - I don't eat meat, but I used to enjoy a good medium-well steak or burger and crispy bacon. In the past, I think I would have tried #5 (the deep-fried burger with cheese fries) to see what it was like.
ReplyShhh... you're interrupting her sense of self-righteousness.
ReplyYou don't win friends with salad.
ReplyIn Ireland, and England I think, you can get deep fried Mars bars. It is indeed a breaded and deep fat fried Mars bar. You can only imagine how hungover the dude was when he invented it:
ReplyFish, flour, bread, oil, fish flour, bread oil, fish, flour, bread oil, mars bar, flour, brea... wait a sec... oh screw it, bread, oil
Sounds like he was talking to the person in the US who did the deep-fried Snickers.
ReplyI think that's Scotland :P
ReplyYou should see what they have at the Minnesota State Fair for fried foods, deep fried foods - the burgers may not be totally disgusting, but they have fried candy-bars, just to start, and the rest of it, I avoid like the plague. It makes the news here every August.
Replylittle girl, big burger... i wonder how those teeny tiny people eat so much food! its incredibly impressive!!
ReplyI too am impressed by the comparative size of girl and burger ... she's smaller than me and I think I'd struggle to eat a quarter of that!
As others have said, most of those burgers look really unappetising. I can't imagine WANTING to eat one, they just don't look like food somehow. Give me a good, simple 6oz burger in a ciabatta roll any day...
ReplyEwww...
Sensible veggie burger please!
ReplyYumm...now that I can do ♥
I can't believe after reading Thomas's story that she just eats one time a day...if I ate just one time a day (and burger king at that) I would be extremely crabby. But I guess if that's what works for her -shrugs- I couldn't do it.
Replyalso, not to be crude - but i could only imagine how constipated she would be. one meal of super-processed and fiber-void fast food does not move well through the GI tract.
ReplyWow those are gross looking.
I was expecting something tempting.
ReplyWow...a burger on a donut bun? Very interesting, I might have to take a bite just to taste ;)
ReplyI know I'd never be able to finish any of those (and I would ask for them without onion or fried egg) but my oh my i would love to try them all!!! I'm seriously gonna make burgers with chopped hot dogs on them tonight.
ReplyI will make it my life life quest to eat all of those.
ReplyWhy is it always an extreme? Either a 14lb burger OR a veggie patty? Please...is anybody moderate anymore? I'm happy with a burger half that size!
Personally, I'd rather chew on a tire than eat a veggie burger -- it wouldn't taste any worse, anyway.
ReplyYeah, a lot of people feel that way. I like some veggie burgers, but my favorite are those I make from an EatingWell recipe.
Personally, the smell of bacon makes my stomach twist - all smoke and grease - but a lot of people go nuts over it.
ReplyGeez.. on #1, why didn't they just throw in a brick of cocaine too?
ReplyBut if you threw in the Coke, you wouldn't have an appetite for the burgers. Tee hee hee
ReplyNo, that's the meal you eat after staying up for a week on coke and not eating
ReplyI made my own Mulligan Monster burger once. It was quite possibly one of the best things I've ever eaten. Ignoring of course the feeling of my heart coming to a stop after I finished it. :)
ReplyYuck, number 7 the Luther Burger looks absolutely vile.
ReplyUgh, all of those burgers look so nasty. That much fat and meat all at once would give me such a gutache if I ate that. Fuddrucker's makes a 30 lb cheeseburger that you can get for parties and stuff...it's seriously huge. I don't know if anyone's ever finished it on their own though.
I'm not really that surprised that Sonya Thomas was able to eat that burger...it's actually easier for skinny people to eat huge amounts of food all at once because there's less flesh for their stomach to expand against. There's a competitive eater out there (a guy) that runs a lot and he stretches his stomach by consuming huge amounts of grapes before competitions. He's really skinny as well.
ReplyThat quadruple bypass looks like it'd be pretty good if there was only half as much of it.
ReplyJust a double bypass for you, eh?
ReplyExcuse me, I'm feeling a bit sick
ReplyNot sure it's really helpful of vegetarians to chime in with their "yucks" here. Seems to me as vegetarians they'd say the same about a nice little grilled or broiled 4 oz. turkey burger topped with fresh tomato, onion, and lettuce and served on a whole wheat bun, too.
I agree with Andy that the Quadruple burger looks like it would be delicious if it was 1/4 the size.
I eat maybe, at most, four burgers a year and four servings of bacon a year, and I don't feel ashamed.
ReplyWow! Look at all the ignorance. Fat phobia still exists in the 21st century?
Being vegetarian is far less healthy than being a normal human being who eats red meat.
Red meat is GOOD for you. Repeat that to yourself as many times as you need to.
Avoid corn feed beef, stick to grass fed, and supplement with fish oil if you do eat corn fed beef. You're golden.
How do you become a fat burning machine? By eating more fat. Not less.
Seriously people.. "artery clogging"? Are you freaking kidding me???
ReplyRed meat might be good for you...but not if you are so disgusted by just touching it that you'd have to buy it premade. Then, it's just back to processed junk, which is not in any way good for you.
ReplyRed meat is not good for you. Everything in moderation though. I am a vegetarian by choice, not because I am worried about my arteries. I do not like the FAT that drips off meat. That's all :)
Reply> Wow! Look at all the ignorance. Fat phobia still exists in the 21st century?
Sadly, it is so.
ReplyI don't have a problem with red meat on its own; but when you combine it with gobs of cheese, bacon, donuts, etc., I'm pretty sure any health benefits it may have go down the drain.
Reply"Being vegetarian is far less healthy than being a normal human being who eats red meat."
Compare the average American red meat-eater's diet to that of a healthy, nutritionally-minded vegetarian (as many of them are). I think you'll find this statement to be false
ReplyYou mist the funniest of all fast food burgers, the Big MacChicken. (Admittedly, it is not strictly a menu item and does require some assembly.)
http://groceryeats.com/2008/02/28/big-macchicken/
ReplyThat kind of reminded me of this:
http://www.andiamnotlying.com/2007/using-mcdonalds-as-pizza-toppings-this-cannot-have-happened-above-the-mason-dixon-line/
ReplyOh god. Those are the most digusting burgers I have ever seen. The first one is the worst!
ReplyYeah this blog post is more about how not to photograph food, rather than about not eating hamburgers.
ReplyMaybe it's just because I've been without dairy for 11 months now, but any of the burgers with melted cheese running down look quite tempting (although I agree that smaller portions would definitely be in order - I never seem to get my money's worth at a buffet!)
ReplyI must admit, while starving, lol, a couple of them look pretty darned good tho the 2 huge ones could feed my entire family and our friends as well!
ReplyIf you ever visit Germany, don't miss the "Waldgeist" near Frankfurt. Burgers there look like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxcCIn5ifUw&feature=related
ReplyLuther Vandross had a lifelong struggle with his weight and had diabetes...naming a burger like that after him seems, I dunno, disrespectful.
ReplyI can't believe all these posts, and no one knows what "The Luthor" is from!
It's from Aaron Mcgruders Cartoon "Boondocks". In an episode in the first season called "The Itis", Grand dad opens up a restaurant that serves these burgers. Apparently, someone took that idea a bit too far...
http://www.boondockstv.com/
Message to my fellow vegetarians: Get over it. People still eat meat and there is nothing we can do about it, except lead by example. If looking at food like this grosses you out, don't click the link.
Message to the girl that ate the "Big Daddy" burger: I'm impressed...you doin anything Sunday?
;)
Replyactually, it's the other way around. The cartoon network folks, based in Atlanta, got the idea from the Mulligans bar, also based in ATL. Several of the Toon guys were regulars. You can check it with the network!
ReplyYou can stop crying: Luthor Vandross supposedly invented this monstrosity, when he ran out of hamburger buns.
ReplyWhat is it about vegetarians that has then think that they are somehow better then us who eat meat. Being a vegetarian should never be associated with being a revolutionary or being open-minded. That's a dietary choice. Yet SOME (I'm not saying all) vegetarians seem to think this way. They feel that all people should be vegetarian, that this will somehow better us. The illogicality of expecting everyone to adopt their particular idea of what being healthy is just preposterous.
With that said, some of these do look gross, but I bet they're damn tasty.
ReplyNope, that's all of them.
ReplyWhat's it with non-vegetarians who get huffy when someone says their diet sucks? Everyone doesn't have to think you're perfect.
ReplyThe rumor in Memphis (home of Dyer's) is that the grease hasn't been changed since opening day (in 1912). When they opened a new store, they had the police escort them as they transported some of the grease to the new store. I'm sure that was just a publicity stunt...
ReplyMS, that is true about the lard but they don't use police escorts. Instead they use level 62 dragons to protect the lard transportation. 7 years ago a band of South American radicals tried to hijack the shipment. 5 elves and a mailbox were killed. Made Nam look like a cake walk.
ReplyI'll call BS on the "never changed the grease" story, but it's something they've played up over the years. The police escort is a true story.
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2007/01/dyers_hamburgers_memphis_tennessee.html
Replywent from 42 jeans to 32 eating meat and lower carbs, cholesterol level is excellent probably lower than some of the tree huggers on here.
ReplyThose are some awesome burgers. http://www.thedrunkcanuck.com is showing you guys some props!!! great post
ReplyAnyone else notice that number 1's wrapper has a warning on it?
ReplyAnd I believe it says: "Taste Worth Dying For"...
ReplyWow. Those things look awesome. I want the ones with an egg on them. Tasty.
ReplyHonestly, that first one, the Quadruple Bypass looks deee-licious. And I'd eat the second one. And the last one.
And by the way...
You vegatarins make no sense! The only reason we all have a consiuous is our ancestors (primates) stopped eating nuts & berries and climed out of the trees and startted eating protein, red meat, etc. I.E., red meat(protein) builds brain mass, which then formed a concious over the thousands of years. So in a nutshell, the reasons a veggietarin has a concious to care about eating red meat is b/c their evolutionary ancestors connsumed mass amounts of it. Kind of ironic, huh?
Reply"Your conscience grew from meat."
Ha! I'm going to use that one sometime :>
ReplyObviously red meat doesn't do anything to help spelling skills though...
ReplyGorillas go on hunting expeditions periodically, killing squirrels, small monkeys, whatever they can get their hands (yes, hands) on, and a consciousness? And conscience? Well, we'd be lucky if some people went and picked some extras off a conscience-tree. I think this dialogue is really funny, and people get all upset and accusatory in amazing ways. I wish ya'll a whole lot of luck, thanks for the bursts of periodic humor - it's really needed here!
Help them, please!
Reply