What Happened to the Family Dinner?

It's just me and my husband, and sad to say, we're usually eating in front of the television. But we've vowed that when we start having kids, dinner will be at the table, period.

My husband chose bike commuting over family time. Sure, it's a great work out for him, but it means that as a stay at home mom, I get no break from roughly 6:30am to about 7pm. Our two year old is usually ready to fall asleep by 6:45 or so in the evenings. You do the math.

I used to do nice homemade meals, but it was really depressing to be the only one eating them, since my husband tends to eat dinner at the office. I batch cook now. I think one of the reasons I gained weight is because I eat alone all the time. When I grew up, we had family dinner every night, and it lasted an hour or so, because everyone was busy talking.

It's also just the wife and I, and we usually (95%) of the time eat at the table. Once in a while we'll eat in front of the TV if there is something we really want to see that overlaps with meal time. That behaviour is currently on hiatus, as I got upset with the cable company and now there is no TV to watch. :D

It's just me and my husband as well and we don't really eat at the same time. I usually make dinner for my husband and sit and talk with him at the table while he eats, then when I'm ready to eat, I sit at the table and he talks to me while I eat. So it's kind of like we have a sit-down dinner, we just kind of have it twice. Once we have kids though, we'll have family dinners at the table. We both grew up eating with our whole family and we want that for our kids.

When I lived at home, we ate most dinners together and even though my mom wasn't the greatest cook, there was always a some kind of meat, a salad and some sort of vegetable on the table. And we NEVER watched TV during dinner. As my brother and I got older, this tradition sort of faded, but whenever I visit, we still sit down and eat dinner at the table, with salad and vegetables and some sort of meat (however, I usually do the cooking).
Now it's just me and my husband at my place, but once a week my friends and I get together for a big group meal. About half of them are on some restricted diet or other (vegetarian, low carb, etc.), and everyone usually brings a healthy dish. It's a great feeling, since I'm so far away from my family (I'm in Australia, they're in California), and even though it's usually the biggest meal I eat all week, it keeps me from emotional eating since I have such a great support network. I definitely look forward to it. It's my family away from home.

Spectra said:
It's just me and my husband as well and we don't really eat at the same time. I usually make dinner for my husband and sit and talk with him at the table while he eats, then when I'm ready to eat, I sit at the table and he talks to me while I eat. So it's kind of like we have a sit-down dinner, we just kind of have it twice. Once we have kids th[...]

I wonder how many people said that before they had kids and didn't follow through. It all goes wrong when parents think kids need more structure in their life with after school sports or some type of lessons. The next step is buying a gas guzzling SUV to transport them to their activities and meal time becomes the drive up window of your choice. Such things like this should be only for the summer and never the school year.

Paul Young said:
I wonder how many people said that before they had kids and didn't follow through. It all goes wrong when parents think kids need more structure in their life with after school sports or some type of lessons. The next step is buying a gas guzzling SUV to transport them to their activities and meal time becomes the drive up window of your choice. Su[...]

No need to be so negative!

We do eat dinner together about six nights a week, with no TV. One reason is that it's cheaper to feed four people that way, and the other is that it really is nice. The kids always have something amusing to say and of course the parents have plenty of advice to dish out that the children can roll their eyes over. I love that time of connecting. We also tend to eat more healthy food (usually salad, meat, vegetable, starch, and a plate of fruit) and I have noticed that my children really do love all kinds of vegetables, including collard greens, cabbage, asparagus, and brussels sprouts. I don't know that they would have a chance to get used to these different foods if we didn't eat at home a lot, because they are not commonly served at restaurants, and they are VERY commonly served at home.

We eat dinner together every night we can. Occasionally the kids or an adult is invited to a dinner/party and will not eat with the family. Other than that--even if we have to eat as late as 7:30--we eat together. Saturday is pizza and a movie night with dinner in front of the TV/fireplace.

It is one of the "non-negotiable aspects" of our family life. It is the way both my wife and I were raised. It is the way we are raising our family.

We eat almost every dinner together as a family. No TV etc. It's really not that hard. Make it an appointment you have to keep. There was a brief period of time that my husband was opting out, to have beers with the guys. After a few times of that, my dog started enjoying my husbands suppers. My husband corrected his behavior soon after that. I work full time, but its not difficult to make a salad, bake a potatoe and cook some meat.

I'm not too worried about turning into the SUV-driving/fast food eating soccer mom or anything. I don't eat fast food now, so why would I change it just because I have kids? I'm a firm believer in good nutrition for kids and I plan on raising kids that don't eat happy meals 4 nights a week. It's a decision you have to make consciously. I know when we were kids, there were nights when we just couldn't have a family dinner, but we usually still ate something healthy. Once we were teenagers and we were all a lot busier, we only were able to have family dinners 3 or 4 nights a week, but that's better than nothing.

Paul Young said:
I wonder how many people said that before they had kids and didn't follow through. It all goes wrong when parents think kids need more structure in their life with after school sports or some type of lessons. The next step is buying a gas guzzling SUV to transport them to their activities and meal time becomes the drive up window of your choice. S[...]

When I was growing up I was in ballet, plays and choir. My brother had a similarly busy schedule. We walked to most of our activities and even when my mother drove us (in a small sedan), we only resorted to McDondalds as an occasional treat. What's wrong with structure?
It's awfully cynical to assume that these parents are somehow fallen from their ideals. What makes you think that they didn't start out with bad habits? Or perhaps the parents are simply victims of their children's peer pressure? "But Billy's doing soccer, why can't I?" "Because we need to have family meals, so I need you home by 5pm." Not all parents can say "no" to their kids. It's easy to generalise when you have nothing to go on but a cheap stereotype and typical, elitist assumptions about families. And for the record, many SUV's use the same amount of fuel as regular cars.

I have 3 children and my neice. We have dinner every night at the table. My kids know that when its dinner time they have to come to the table. They used to ask if they can eat in the livingroom but got used to use tell them no and the big speech on why we eat together. lol. My husband and I believe that it is very important to have as much family time as posible. We have family night on Tue and Thur also. We never make excuses to one another on why we cant do anything on the weekends. When we do anything it is always all 6 of us. Sure we get our alone time but spending as much time with my family comes before my alone time. I get enough of that when the kids are at school. lol

I've always ate dinner with family as much as possible about 4-5 times a week. It's great and always very healthy. :-)