How to Eat Right AND Maintain a Social Life

This is one of my big problems. It's not like I hang with a bunch of alcoholics, but me not ordering a beer or two would just feel so weird. Then it's a vicious cycle because when I drink I lose my good decision making process about food.

I have just resolved to try next time without a beer. Playing golf tomorrow and normally that would mean a couple of beers. Just water for me please.

Great post.

I have been known to make excuses not to attend post-work gatherings when I knew there would be lots of food and drink flowing, and that I would not have time to fit in my exercise. Getting the healthy lilfestyle and social life balance is not easy.

I concur with Croc. It is always a challenge for me. I can do great while I'm on my schedule/routine, but as soon as I'm with others, my resolve flies out the window. I've been making baby steps in the right direction, but I think I may always struggle with this. My current dilemma is in dealing with people who give me grief for ordering healthy stuff! They make it out like I'm judging their choices, when I'm really, honestly not doing that. I just want to feel good about myself later, so I order what I want. If they want fries or cheesebread or whatever, that's fine. I order that stuff sometimes too. I just hate how whatever I eat has become a topic for discussion since I've lost a bunch of weight. Sorry for the rant and thanks for the helpful post!

This has always been really hard for me, and I recently blogged about it as well. I'm naturally a social person, and our Friday night happy hour's tend to be at some Mexican place with free chips and salsa. (I always get overruled when I mention a different type of restaurant.) I have switched from drinking margaritas to beer and now just water, but I love chips and salsa...and queso. The thing I have to do so I don't crash my lifestyle change is plan the night before what I will and will not have while out the next day AND I work out at the gym that much harder the day prior.

I think that point #1 is the most important of all. If you are serious about dieting and make it clear to other people, they will respect your decision and support you instead of making fun of you.

I actually find that I do much better when I don't tell people I'm trying to lose weight, so number 1 doesn't really work for me. Especially with my mother, she's terrible with the "go on, treat yourself, just this once won't hurt" routine. Or just as bad, specifically pointing out that I'm "being good" if there is food around and thus making me feel very self conscious about the whole thing. I think a lot of people react that way when you're trying to make changes so I don't tell them and they don't comment.

I know that for some people, the support of their families and friends is key, and I look to them to support me in other ways. I use my online friends and websites like this for positive support from people who aren't going to sabotage me. It isn't a way for everyone to do it, but it works for me.

When in resturants, Mrs.J tells them I have medical problems and I need the food prepared in 'special' ways :-(

All the points made sense to me, except for #3. Let's see, you have a partner or spouse who thinks you taking time for significant exercise is a problem for THEM?

Sorry, but for me this indicates you have a partner who has reasons to want you to remain fat or unfit. I won't speculate on those reasons, but I can't think of a single one that could be good for you.

Muscle-creating, fat-burning exercise (more than just walking) requires a significant investment of time -- at least 3 hours a week, and that's probably a very low estimate. If you have a partner who's complaining about you using your time that way, you may have a problem that's not a diet problem. It's either a relationship problem or it's an assertiveness problem on your part. It might well be time to see a counselor (not a couples counselor, but a counselor who can help you advocate for your own basic needs for things like...oxygen).

Apologies for getting a bit worked up about this. I've discovered all sorts of ways to make diets work for me, but only one way to make exercise work -- that being, devote plenty of time to it.

The people in my family who have always been thin just say no when they don't want to eat something. If a friend or family member keeps pressing them, they keep saying no. They don't care what other people think. Eventually, your friends and family will get the message. I think the rest of us give in because deep down we really want to eat the food even if we say we don't.

oh fatties these days >_

Everything in moderation.

My husband doesn't bring me fattening foods anymore...he knows better! Same with the rest of my family. My mom used to buy me all kinds of treats until I told her "No more candy/treats!". So now she buys me salad fixings and stuff when I visit. And every time I have to go to a family gathering, I bring a healthy dish so I at least have some alternative to the fatty casseroles that are usually there.

If people in your life are "offended" because you don't want to eat their junk food, they have issues that go waaaaaay beyond food.

A helpful tool that I use is be prepared before going to a restaurant. I'm a calorie counter, so I find out the calories before I go to a resturant (on the internet) then not only do I know what I am going to order but I also am prepared to keep my calories down. I find myself nibbling less and enjoying the company that I'm there to visit, rather than stuffing my face.

This is a good article. Finding support is absolutely the best thing that will help all the other suggestions work out. I find that it's best not to tell some people I'm trying to lose weight, because they do sabotauge my efforts. I still haven't figured out if they do this on purpose for personal reasons, or subconciously. I guess why doesn't matter. But finding a friend you can work out with and support you is key.

Never teh Bride said:
If people in your life are "offended" because you don't want to eat their junk food, they have issues that go waaaaaay beyond food.[...]

I totally agree. A former friend, who has since had weightloss surgery, was mad at me for eating healthy food before going to a party she gave where she served nothing healthy; everything was loaded with sugar, fat and calories. I was dumbfounded by her anger. A real friend is supportive of someone making healthy choices.

These are great tips! Very encouraging as well. It is difficult to maintain a healthy diet when others around you are not on the same level. Thank you for sharing!

I've kind of lost most of my friends since changing my lifestyle - I don't like to drink anymore and while I have no problem going out and having just as good a time sober, my night always gets ruined by my "friends" HASSLING me ENDLESSLY about why I'm not drinking - I can't figure out how it affects them if I'm smiling/laughing/having a good time. If I don't give in, they crack it and just ignore me completely. And then when I get pissed off and want to go home, I'm "boring" because I'm sober. And now I'm a "loser" because I never go out.

Such sad stories. Just eat it!

Try the 90% rule. Be perfect 90% of the time, but allow yourself to be human the other 10%. If you're eating 21 - 42 times per a week, that means you can eat a meal not with your diet plan 2 or 4 times a week.

Do this preferrably after a workout, when your muscles are primed to take in nutrition, rather than the fat cells.

If you've been dieting too long, your metabolism can use the kick start. So too your leptin stores. You might even find yourself thinner the next morning. I'm not the only person this has happened to.

The body will adapt to anything, and quite often needs some shaking up if you're going to continue weight loss. If you find yourself stalled out, a night on the town might be just what the doctor ordered!

Someone who sat next to Hilary Clinton at a dinner, reported that she at nothing - her plate was taken away untouched. She spent the whole meal engaging in conversation with her neighbors. For some people that may be "easier" than trying to limit eating. If she had a nice nutritious dinner before she got to this event, even better.

Just because the event happens to be a dinner, it doesn't mean you have to eat. The observer was sure that he was the only one who noticed that Hilary didn't eat anything. They did notice that she was a good dinner companion.

These are great tips! Very encouraging as well. It is difficult to maintain a healthy diet when others around you are not on the same level. Thank you for sharing!