Can Kids Handle the "O" Word?

I think it's a good idea to standardize on the same terminology used for adults, at least in talking to parents. In particular, it's confusing that an "overweight" kid is the same thing as an obese adult. I don't think parents understand this distinction. And there is a tremendous amount of denial by parents. See "3 in 5 moms of fat kids think their kids are normal." A little straight talk is needed to jolt parents into reality.

There's probably a need for more research to track obesity from childhood through adulthood to see how different approaches towards kids affect their future weight. But in the end I think that it may just be too late once a kid becomes obese, so early childhood should be a big priority.

i believe parents are the ones that need the wake up call!

IMHO, maybe they shouldn't tell it to children (because of those mentioned self-esteem problems, for instance), but parents should indeed be informed of the 'real' problem. I'm not a parent myself, but I saw well enough in my own family that my own parents weren't even aware until recently about how destructive the 'morning cereals geared at children' were. Or how a fruit as a snack would have cut it better than some chocolate, sugar-laden bar every day. Denial is everywhere, and if doctors were to be more blunt in that regard to the *parents*, maybe there'd be less "Oh, it's just her baby fat, it will go away in a couple of years".

Mark said:
But in the end I think that it may just be too late once a kid becomes obese, so early childhood should be a big priority.[...]

Totally agree. Of course, doctors need to be more blunt with parents, but kids should be encouraged from an early age to not eat crap and actively participate in sports and active play. If this means that a doctor will have to say that a young kid runs the risk of becoming obese if he/she doesn't do more physical activity and eat better, so be it.

Mark said:
"doctors need to be more blunt with parents"[...]

Did you see the pictures of the kid? That does not look like an overweight child to me, and the pediatrician did not seem to be paying attention to the fact that the parents were paying attention to the the diet/activity level.

My name is Kimmie I'm 17 and 331 pounds. Every day that goes by I do not blame my mom, she doesn't put the food in my mouth I do. When we're on diets most the time I am the one that cheats or goes off first. I feel so bad about what I do. I just don't know how to stop. I'm lazy I have a bad back but I love dancing I used to be in dance classes but I stopped when my teacher moved. I used to be a cheerleader and I used to be in gymnastics but I was still fat I've been big my whole life. I don't have many friends and I'm homeschooled because people made fun of me. I need help...I just need lots of help I just don't know where to find it.

If the child's BMI is 16.7, that isn't high, it's low. Am I missing something? The child in the picture I found looks normal.

Kimmie!
Talk to your parents about seeing a doctor who does lap banding and see if you would benefit from that.

Heather said:
Did you see the pictures of the kid? That does not look like an overweight child to me, and the pediatrician did not seem to be paying attention to the fact that the parents were paying attention to the the diet/activity level.
[...]

Amen. If her child looked like the "child wrestler" used in the fake KFC ads, I'm sure she wouldn't be offended that he was called obese. But that child does not appear overweight to me, and there was no mention that he has any sort of obesity-related issues either - cause there are kids out there who are 11 and blood pressure meds, for example. So the pediatrician was a bit weird.

Dr.J said:
If the child's BMI is 16.7, that isn't high, it's low. Am I missing something? The child in the picture I found looks normal.[...]

BMI doesn't apply to children the same as adults. Here are some BMI charts for boys.

Mark said:
No wonder doctors are afraid to be blunt![...]

I just read the two blog posts, and if her son's BMI was 80th percentile, he was neither (euphemistically) "at risk for overweight" or "overweight" - those are categorically when a child reaches or exceeds the 85th percentile for BMI for age - and even then, BMI shouldn't be used to the exclusion of good clinical judgement since BMI is recognized as being flawed, especially in younger children whose growth can confound its utility moreso than in an adult.

Chicken Girl said:
Chicken Girl[...]

Thank you! Even at 16.7, he didn't look that 'thick' :-)

Kimmie,

Being a fat kid sucks. I know. When I was your age, I weighed nearly 300 lbs and had been on diets almost my entire life. While I wasn't home schooled, I mostly lacked any real social life.

People on this board, and ond others, constantly will tell you that losing weight can be done, and perhaps it can be accomplished. But blaming yourself for being fat isn't the answer. You were screwed when you were born. It might be that your genetics make you hungrier than other kids, or that, as some people claim, you are easily addicted to food (instead of, say, cigarettes), or it could even be that your body is just much more efficient at converting calories to fat. Whatever the cause, the reasons that you eat are real, and even if the ultimate decision to put food in your mouth rests with you, the feeling of hunger that you feel when you eat is something that no one else has to deal with.

Stop blaming yourself. I know a number of very successful women who have mastered every other aspect of their lives, except their weight.

Think of it this way: If you had bad eyesight, something caused by genetics, the world would be much more understanding of your problem. It's not fair, and it can drive you nuts.

I'm not sure surgery is the right answer. I had a lap-band and then I had it removed. For me the experience was terrible. But unfortunately there is no easy answer.

All I can say is that 15, 16, and 17 are the worst. Life does get (a little) easier for fat people. And don't stop doing athletic things because you've got some pounds. Don't run around to lose weight, do it because it's fun and because it's what will keep you from feeling like you are lazy. If you can't lose weight, exercise... it gives you ammunition to fight back, and you can push yourself to some types of physical success regardless of how much you weigh.

Thanks Michael that helps a lot. I do have low thyroid and as far as I know my whole family is overweight. I need to really lose weight, when ever I get on a good track something comes up and I mess up.

"at risk for overweight"

Is it really that hard to say "at risk for becoming overweight?" Overweight is an adjective...obesity is a condition. For all I know, it's proper medical jargon, but it drives me crazy.

I was overweight as a kid but not obese. The big problem I had was that the doctors telling me to lose weight were overweight themselves. It wouldn't have mattered the word that they used. What's the expression - I'm rubber and you're glue...?

BMI should only be the first indicator that anyone is overfat. Then, take it from there, with other tests and indications to confirm.

As for telling the kids if they are obese - No, nobody should tell them. It's the parents that should be told.

Then, they should not tell the kid he is obese and "needs to lose weight". That's focusing on the negative. Instead, parents should simply encourage or demand healthy habits. If the kid asks, "why this change?" they could say it is "to make you more healthy". Focusing on the positive, "more healthy".

And the parents must adopt these new healthy habits too, or the kid will not. Only a fool would obey a hypocrite.

kimmie, i had the same problems in high school. it is really hard but remember that life will improve. i was fat then and i am fat now 20 years later. i was informed by my doctor two years ago that i actually have a medical condition that makes it very difficult to loose weight and i have had it my whole life without knowing it. she gave me the best advice....eat healthy, exercise and quit beating myself up over the numbers on the scale. i have started watching what i eat and am careful about portion control. i bought an ipod and take a 2 mile walk every day. i have no clue if my weight has dropped but my blood pressure is lower and my cholesterol has dropped 30 points to well into normal range.
the thing you should remember is most people are better than you give them credit for. be outgoing and friendly and you will find the majority will notice the person not the weight. i go to curves and have made many new friends while i exercise. i found that my self esteem improved greatly in high school when i got a part time job at the local grocery store where many of my classmates worked. it was horrible at first working with the public but i forced myself to do it. after a few weeks i had several new friends and was no longer afraid of new people. as the years go by i have come to terms with never being thin remember its better to be healthy and happy!

Dear Kimmie,
I have some very dear friends who are very overweight. I would be very sad to live in a world without their wonderful company. So, whatever weight you are, I'll bet there are people who would love to have a great friend in you! Hang in there and be yourself because the world needs you.

Thanks guys you all helped

Obesity sounds professional, and more like a condition. I like the use of the term. It is a state. I have a nephew who just turned 9. He weights 175 pounds and is allowed to drink sugary drinks and eat junk all day without adult supervision.

I think that is the main source of childhood obesity - parents not parenting.

I think parents have the right to tell their children. Considering that the parents have a closer relationship with their children than the doctors, they probably know what approach should be done in order to avoid certain problems.

I agree with Wally that it's up to the parent's to inform their children the bad news. With their knowledge regarding their children's behavior and how they would accept the news, parents have the advantage of choosing the most appropriate action to do.

As an early childhood professional, I am astounded at the simplicity of a doctor's fear that a child would suffer damage to their self esteem simply by being told they are obese. How powerful do they imagine themselves to be? Such damage would require repeated negative, uncaring and insensitive messages, not information that one would expect is provided in a compassionate manner grounded in improving a child's well being. . . Children need to develop the ability to receive constructive criticism if they are to become self reflective life long learners. . .. one would think that hearing from a caring professional about their physical well being would be one of those opportunities. . .. Isn't the reality that they cannot do what their peers can do, or the name calling that is most probable from other kids more significant than a 20 minute conversation in the doctor's office. Not calling it what it is simply encourages the denial that prevents addressing the issue. . .. .