5 Myths About Men and Women

I can't exactly tell about how men behave regarding other men, but on the woman side of things... #1 and #3: Doh! With some people, it's like things never change. (Anyone remember the 'nice' high school advice about 'never sweat, else you'll also never get a boyfriend'? Yeah, well, sometimes it lasts throughout adult age.)

I'm currently going to weight-lifting classes at the campus gym (I have to find another gym for the summer, bleh), and sometimes it's annoying. People are generally nice there--it's just that I don't feel especially thrilled at the idea of bench-pressing 10 miserable little lbs. I know, it's a women-only class, and the instructor tells us to do 25-30 reps series with a lower load, and while it was nice to get back into the swing of things at first, now it's just getting plainly boring. (I swear, next year, I go with the guys. Most of the time, they actually are very nice and have at least some kind of respect for a woman who lifts and isn't afraid of breaking a sweat by doing so.)

I, for one, DON"T bench press. I prefer to do several variations of push ups.

Good post.

Brian

It’s a shame these myths persist because – once we got them out of the way - the women at my gym have been very receptive to the idea of resistance training. Most of them have achieved their goal of weight loss using weights and dietary adjustments and are very happy with their results. I usually recommend chins, dips, deadlifts, and squats as the core of their routines. It’s a far cry from the tiny pink, neoprene dumbbells they have been encouraged to use by most “experts”!

Most women do not have the ego problem that men have. Guys are in a rush to lift (what they believe are) heavy weights to feed their ego and try to impress other gym users. Sadly, they usually don’t reach their goal because of injuries and they often become fixated on bench presses and bicep curls to the exclusion of other, more productive, exercises.

I don’t buy into the “functional exercise” trend that is doing the rounds. I’ve seen some very dangerous practices in the name of functional exercise: mostly involving balls and free weights. There’s nothing “natural” about sitting on a ball or balancing with one foot on Bosu - or whatever it’s called – while doing curls or presses. It's dangerous.

The bench press as a useful exercise if performed properly in the context of a good overall resistance workout.

I love that my wife has started going to the gym and jogging with me! I have no problem with her including resistance training in her exercise routine. It's a good workout - good for the heart, good for the body. What's not to love?

Being a lazy person who doesn't much like strength training but makes herself do it anyway, I like to make is short and sweet. I pick a dozen or so basic exercises, lift as much as I can handle for 8-12 reps, (just one set), whine a little, and I'm done.

So I'm always bewildered seeing the sort of strength training most women seem to prefer: teeny tiny weights lifted over and over and over for an eternity. Just seems way more uncomfortable for way longer, and they don't seem to build up even enough muscle to be visible, let alone help their metablolism.

(On the other hand, women don't do that annoying slamming of big weights down with a huge clank, just to show off. But otherwise, I've noticed men seem to be more sensible than many of us women about how they strength train).

Crabby McSlacker said:
On the other hand, women don't do that annoying slamming of big weights down with a huge clank, just to show off.

Sometimes I (and others) have to drop the weights. For example, dumbbell bench presses or dumbbell military presses. If you try to lower the dumbbells with too much control, a serious shoulder injury could result.

That said, some people don't even try to control the descent. I lower the dumbbells down to where it is not yet harmful to my shoulders, and then drop them, with a smaller clamor.

I disagree with that bit in #2 about the functionality of bench presses. Some horizontal pressing movement is essential. It can be push-ups or maybe even dips, rather than bench press, but you have to do something in that plane of movement.

I've never bought into the sweating thing. By the time I'm done w/ my cardio and stregnth training, I generally smell like a horse and really -need- that shower. If I didn't, I'd wonder what I was doing wrong. :)

I do wonder about my stregnth training regimen sometimes -- I lift as much as I can for 4 sets of 18 reps (on the advice of my trainer) and have increased my weight recently (usually around 40# for most upper-body exercises, except for the shoulder dip and lateral pulldown, which are 120# and about 90# respectively). I don't know whether it would be better to increase the weight slightly and do fewer reps or just stay where I am. I also don't know whether I should be doing upper and lower body together, or keep doing what I'm doing now -- switching off and doing a third day where I do both.

Kailash,
Sorry, I didn't mean the small-clamor guys. I meant the guys who seem to try to make as huge a clatter as possible just to let everyone knows how manly they are. A gym isn't a library--some grunting and thunking is totally necessary and even adds to the ambiance. Makes me feel like I'm working out harder just to hear it.

Dancinghawk said:
I don't know whether it would be better to increase the weight slightly and do fewer reps or just stay where I am.

It's actually best to vary your set/rep scheme from workout to workout. 2 x 12, 3 x 8, 4 x 5, 5 x 3 are all good. You will of course use a heavier weight for a 3 rep set than you would for a 12 rep set. This variation will train your muscles for a variety of work, thus increasing both strength and endurance.

It sounds like your workout schedule is something like Monday - Upper body, Wednesday - Lower body, Friday - Full body. That would be a good plan.

So it looks like you're doing the right thing, but should definitely do some lower rep workouts and see your strength increase! :)

Great post.

I've been trying to convince my fiance to work out with me for a while now but she seems to believe that weight training is for men. Maybe I'll forward this her way.

LOL at Olga! ahahah

This is what happens to my wife, she sits on the bike, reads or watches TV, and after 30 minutes, she looks exactly as when she fist started, not a drop of sweat at all... :)

Oh, thank you so much for this post! I am so tired of trying to persuade friends to lift weights (prevents osteoporosis, reduces cellulite) and hearing "but I don't want to get bulky"! lol...it's not going to happen. Even men who lift don't get bulky unless they commit to a major training regimen - aka an athlete. For simple muscle tissue maintenance and a little toning, no one is going to get too bulky, but especially women (since we have less muscle tissue to begin with, it's harder for us to build). Anyway, the "bulk" comes from building muscle but not simultaneously burning fat, which is why you need both resistance and cardio. :)

I found out that although other women look at you like you are a freak, 13 and 14 year old boys look up to you and ask for advice. They are afraid of being ridiculed by the big buff guys, so they'll always come and talk to me and the other 2 women lifting, with questions that can be from asking you spot them, to where to buy a good lifting glove.

60 in 3, you need to bookmark www.stumptuous.com/iron for your fiance.

"gyms" like Curves and Planet Fitness only help to perpetuate this myth...

It's good that the industry is finally recognizing that men's weight issues need to be addressed. But you're right that stereotypes still exist. Good post.

I've never had a snide remark from women about my weightlifting, but I have had a few dropped jaws from men at the gym when I can lift heavier than them. ;-)

And thanks for explaining the existence of Coke Zero - I wondered what it was all about.

I am a female and have been seriously weight training for over 2 years. I work out with my husband, who can squat over 500 lbs (that's 6 reps on last set). Don't think he's gonna let me squat a measly 40, do you? No way - he's got me up to squating 235 lbs. on my last set!

Women should not be afraid of weight training. They do not possess the amount of testosterone needed to build HUGE muscles. However, you gotta push around an appreciable amount of weight to grow ANY muscle. I watch people in the gym every morning (women and men) and notice that many are not really lifting all that heavy. Yeah it's hard - that's why most people don't do it - but lifting heavy is what tells the muscle fiber to grow. If I did military press with 10 lbs and did 25 reps, my shoulders would not grow at all (I'd just tired!). It's just not enough weight to challenge the muscle...

#1 and #3--- OMG, so true!!!

There are some women I can't seem to convince otherwise... and a couple I had to be like, "Am I huge quivering mass of muscles? No? Well I do an intense weight lifting program."

Thank you so much for this article!
I'm a personal Life Coach who works with people who want to be healthy.
I consult with my female clients on the benifits of weight training and often they are reluctant to use weights.
What is this fear about? I think they imagine themselves waking up one morning (like the movie "Big") looking like the Hulk!- Having too many bulky muscles and way too much strength.
Men are usually ready for strength training but sometimes want to start much too heavy (I think it's a guy thing).
For both men and women, weight training and cardiovascular exercise are benificial to our well being.
Be healthy,
Diane Ladd

that's crazy cause i actually know mwn who diet, and ARE straight, and don't have a problem 'bout it. i mean, i also know some gurls that work out like guys do and don't diet at all. why do people have 2 judge people?

KATIE said:
i also know some gurls that work out like guys do and don't diet at all. why do people have 2 judge people?[...]

Anushka said:
No way - he's got me up to squating 235 lbs. on my last set![...]

I want big muscles. I don't like looking puny but with a big tummy and a wide fundament; it's not my style. If it's lack of testosterone keeping me so thin in the arms and pointy in the shoulders, perhaps a little testosterone won't do me any harm. Are there any safe, natural ways for a woman to boost that hormone to a reasonable degree without going too far? And if I do, will I grow a beard or anything awful?

I think it's more on how we understood women that makes it surprising everytime we hear a woman who do wieght lifting. Learning the facts about the difference between woman makes us believe that everybody is like that which entirely not true because there are others who go down a different path.

Anushka said:
Women should not be afraid of weight training. They do not possess the amount of testosterone needed to build HUGE muscles. [...]

As a woman who does have the testosterone necessary (PCOS - it has been as high as 14x the normal for woman, which is roughly equivalent to what is normal for a 16-year-old male), I can attest that even tons of testosterone + training + eating protein does not build huge muscles. The estrogen and progesterone counteract the testosterone, even when it is way more testosterone than a woman should have, like in my case. I don't even have Madonna-sized muscles, much less man-sized ones. I think it would require eating a lot *more* protein and doing a lot *more* lifting than just 40m, 3x a week, as heavy as I may lift during that time. That, and/or some "interesting supplements".

I find out I have a bit more functional strength when my testosterone is out of control than when I can get it down, but I don't really look any different, muscle-wise (I get more zits, but that is it). I can increase the weights in upper body exercises a bit more than I can when I'm normal, but I still look the same.

Rhoda, I think you'd benefit more from a harder workout regime and a diet with plenty of protein, as well as a bulking cycle, than you would from having more testosterone, as my experience proves.

Jan said:
Rhoda, I think you'd benefit more from a harder workout regime and a diet with plenty of protein, as well as a bulking cycle, then you would from having more testosterone, as my experience proves.

Agree, diet is number one. Nobody has ever gotten bigger without eating a caloric surplus, whether it be bigger with fat or bigger with muscle.

There's the infamous bulking slogan, "If you're not chewing, you're not growing." Which implies eating all day long during an intensive training period.

That said, you should look to add no more than about 1 pound per a week. Any more than that, and the excess is likely fat and not muscle. If you don't make any gains one week, up your caloric intake the next one.

Watch your waistline, though. If that starts to grow too much, you're either not training intensely enough, or might want to add in a bit of cardio. Oh, did I forget to mention that cardio is optional while bulking? :)

I have done some weights in my life and when I was a semi-professional volleyball player what was increasing in our diet was carbo and not proteins. Protein is a myth for muscles, your body reaches a limit when all the proteins you put inside doesn't necessarely become muscles.

Debora Conti said:
I have done some weights in my life and when I was a semi-professional volleyball player what was increasing in our diet was carbo and not proteins. Protein is a myth for muscles, your body reaches a limit when all the proteins you put inside doesn't necessarely become muscles.
[...]

That is true, but the total number of meals you have plus source of protein (each type has X% absorbed, with eggs being the highest one if I'm correct - Ryan, help me here?) So 2 huge servings of fish for ex. a day is not gonna be much help, but around 30-40g per meal 6-7x a day, from good sources, is gonna make a difference. The problem is most of us are not hardcore enough to wake up and eat 5oz of ground beef, like the people on the MaxMuscle program do, for example, or to eat eggs right before bed.

I agree. Learning about the difference between men and women doesn't necessarily mean that it's strictly for that gender only. People have different abilities and others surpass their limitations.

LOL, #5 is why my husband refuses to buy Diet Coke at the store. He drinks diet soda, but only the kind that doesn't have "diet" in the name. He'll purchase Fresca, Pepsi ONE, Coke Zero, or anything else that doesn't say "diet" because "diet" sodas are for women.

And #1 is definitely true. I don't know how many women I've met that refuse to lift anything heavier than a 2 lb Barbie-doll weight because they don't want to "bulk up". Well geez, you might as well just lift a remote control up and down 50 times to define your muscles. :P

Spectra said:
He'll purchase Fresca, Pepsi ONE, Coke Zero, or anything else that doesn't say "diet" because "diet" sodas are for women.[...]

I actually work out at my local Planet Fitness - almost half the people that work out in the free weights section are women. The amount of the lift or reps I have no idea but these women are strong and fit, confident.

I am not in shape enough to be in that league but hey, I do cardio that leaves me drenched in sweat. When I do that 7 minutes of cardio for warm up then do strength training and core work - I'm still sweating up a storm. When I lift weights at home, I use a traditional set of dumbells and a fitness ball. If I ever get strong enough to lift seriously, I will.

I think that it's less about a gym perpetuating a myth that women don't sweat, work hard, lift weights, push themselves but they let people define their own workout. For many - the easy route to weight loss is the most frequently chosen BUT they forget - building muscle boosts fat burning.

Great Post!

I want to put on some weight.. i do workout regularly and lift heavy weights too thrice a week i have good slim shape of my muscles and i have develop good cuts too... but my waist doesnt increases and also my weight is constant from last many months......Please do Suggest me how can i put on some weight.... without skipping my Gym schedule...

Actually, I do bulk up like a guy...it's weird. I have a love-hate relationship with my muscles. They're great when I need them and not so great when I don't. It would be nice to have slimmer muscles so I would look more "girly". I'm not a body builder or anything, so I do still look feminine. I've had a six-pack since I was 14 (a six pack like a guy, not those barely ones) and I've always had really muscular arms compared to all the other girls. So why is it that I bulk up and most women don't?

Testosterone.

I ride a recumbent while my wife uses a treadmill. We do this every evening while watching tv.

Workouts are so hard to keep up with. Especially if you don't have a lot of time.