Everyone Needs Fat Friends?
UK tabloid Daily Mail explains that every woman needs a 'fat friend'.
There is a truth universally acknowledged that any woman will look a hundred times more beautiful when standing next to a fat friend.
Universally acknowledged?
The article could almost be satire:
But it's not just when you're out on the town that your fat friend makes you feel better. When you're out shopping there's the satisfaction of slipping into a size 10 as she struggles with a 16, and even if you have put on a few pounds, the fact she can't fit into the biggest size the shop stocks takes the sting out of moving up to a 12.Because your fat friend is no competition, you can take her out manhunting, safe in the knowledge that all eyes will be on you, and there will always be someone around to watch your drink and guard your handbag.
Not much of a friendship really.

Apparently even Kate Moss has her fat friends.
More like this in Body Image
I will get up my appetite when have lunch with fat friends.
Reply:)
No offense
I don't know about anybody else, but I couldn't get a read on this article. Is it satire? Is it serious? Is it meant to be funny?
I've said it before, but there's enough pain in being overweight without reading stuff like this. I enjoy a laugh as much as anyone, and I'm not afraid to poke fun at myself, but this article made me uncomfortable.
Brian
ReplyIs the one on the left in that picture Beth Ditto? Or is there a whole legion of Beth Ditto lookalikes out there now?
ReplyI find it unsettling that a woman could write this article and seriously consider herself a journalist. Shame on her. And I hope her friends shun her for it.
ReplyHmmm... every woman needs a fat friend. So my "fat friend" is larger than me. And, her "fat friend" is larger than her. And that woman's "fat friend" is larger than her, and so on. I guess there's one tremendously large woman out there who's at the top of the pile... a bizarre pyramid scheme of weight obsession.
On the other hand, perhaps I can rent myself out as a "fat friend for a night." I'll wear the dress that makes my butt look big, I won't comb my hair well, I'll wear glasses instead of contacts, and all eyes will be on you! I'll try to squash my size 12 self into size 10 pants so you feel better about yourself! All for the bargain price of only $200 an hour... if skinny idiots are that desperate for validation, I might as well make a few bucks off it, right?
ReplyDid the people who are getting upset about this actually read the article? If the woman's tongue was any more firmly planted in her cheek she would have a permanent bruise. She's writing from the perspective of an overweight woman (which she indicates she is) who feels a little invisible at times. It's a bit of satire. I don't think she's all that great a writer, and I know it's much easier to just get upset by something from the headline rather than read the whole thing first, but use your head a little.
Reply"It is a truth universally acknowledged" is the beginning of Jane Austen's novel, Pride & Prejudice. Hence, I think it's satire.
ReplyThis journalist was kidding, but clearly you aren't. It kind of reminds me of that scene in Borat when he said racist things as a joke and the rodeo folk cheered him on.
Maybe you should work on feeling better about yourself so you don't have to act differently around your fat "friends." Hopefully they will realize what kind of "friend" you are and lose you.
ReplyNo need to be so harsh. I sometimes feel the same way ... When people around me are eating a lot, I will eat too ... and when they aren't, I won't. I don't think it matters whether the people you're with are fat or not, it just depends on their habits and they inturn affect your habits. What we need to do is be stronger about our own sense of will power, and then it won't matter what anyone else around us is doing.
ReplyHmmm, interseting. Well while reading this i don't agree, but i kinda believe that that's what my "friend" does. She is a size 3 and im a 12, when we go shopping, she's always saying how fat she is and always looks at me while she's saying it. And i know that she gets a kick out of the fact that when we walk side by side at the mall, all the guys ignore me and check her out.
ReplyThe fact that we're puzzled about whether or not this is satire indicates that it's not very well written.
But the piece makes us uncomfortable because it's true - been there, done that, got the oversized T-shirt. I have shed so many "friends" along with the extra weight it's not funny.
ReplyOne unfortunate thing I have witness many women do is sabatoging each other. I made the mistake of mentioning to one of my coworkers that I love chocolate. She shockingly replied, but you are so skinny. I told her that I don't keep large amounts of it in my house, and if I really crave it I buy a single small candy bar. The very next day she brought in a huge container of chocolate, and offered it to most people once, but she kept offering it to me probably about 15 times in one day. It was totally comical. I took a few then said no thank you the other 14 times. I'm quite experienced with this type of behavior, and it actually increases my resolve to not overeat an item if I know someone is pushing it on me for malicious reasons. Offering once is kind and polite, but fifteen times, just means you want other people to be overweight becasue you are. That is so sad that women try to trip each other up like that. Luckily not all women are like that but there sure are lots of them out there. It's negative peer pressure. Stop it ladies Stop...
ReplyThe author also looks at the issue from both sides of the fence.
ReplyI think you are on to something there! You have a good business idea. If you live in Hollywood, I'm sure you'll make tons.
As for the "fat friend" syndrome, the unattractive friend doesn't have to be fat. I know from experience that nerdy and dressed conservatively works just as well. I was "best friends" with all the hot popular girls. What is in it for the "ugly friend"? We can get into any club or place, no need for an invitation or cover charge, when hanging out with the "hot friend". It is a taste of the glamour. Both parties are using one another.
ReplyI hate to say this as a teenager. BUt there is a word for it. its called the DFF.
designated fat friend.
isn't that horrible?
yeahh.
sad but unfortunatly totally true for many.
ReplyBecky, as a former DUF (ugly/unattractive friend) I can say it is not horrible, and trust me, all the DUF/DFFs are using the HF just as much or more so than the HF is using them. It is not that hard to figure out why they are befriending us.
Replyi am unfortunatley a DFF, and i can honestly say that IT SUCKS. But, i don't think ive ever used my "friends". If i have i has never been intentional, I can't imagin them using me to better their self esteem..........?
ReplyI know this isn't what they mean, but my best friend throughout high school and college was fat, and had no problem describing herself that way. (Love you, Brooke!) I would stomp flat, with my skinny little feet, anyone who talked about her this way in person. Yuck, how awful.
ReplyI don't know if any of you know about the Daily Mail's reputation in the UK but it's infamous for hating women. It blames working mothers for practically everything, but of course, single mothers who don't work are sponging off the state. The 'newspaper' also has a habit of getting female journalists to write its most contentious articles, so that it doesn't look quite so misogynistic. The late writer, Lynda Lee-Potter, once wrote a particularly nasty article about how fat Kate Winslett was (made reference to her chunky thighs) and colleagues following in her footsteps obviously feel that bitching about women is obviously the way to go. Sad.
ReplyI know someone who has fat friends, but I am sure that she didn't do it for that reason. Any person who read this will certainly question their friend's purpose in their friendship.
ReplyPart of my motivation for losing weight in college (and keeping it off permanently) was to get out of the DUFF status that I had all through high school and freshman year of college. Although, like Jan said, I don't think my friends were that petty and mean that they just "used" me to feel better about THEIR bodies. I had a really great friend that was thin but ugly and she always told me how much she envied ME, even though I was a lot heavier than her.
The only thing it really affected was my relationships with guys that would be really nice to me, but would date my friends. That was frustrating, so I lost weight and then I was the one that the guys wanted to date. Which was also kind of frustrating because I thought that the only reason I had dates was because I was thinner, not because of my magnetic, charming personality ;)
ReplyI never had a problem getting dates though. I guess "nerdy and buttoned up" works for some guys, haha.
ReplyIt was your true colors shining through, Jan!!
ReplyI'm still nerdy and buttoned up. There is no nerdier occupation than "software company owner", is there?
ReplyMaybe assistant to the owner?? By the way, my sister gave me a pocket protector for Christmas..is she trying to tell me something? :-)
ReplyThis is an ignorant and insensitive article. Being overweight isn't a joke in any sense. Shallow women who feel the need to look better by comparing themselves to others are pretty sad themselves.
ReplyWell I hope she makes up for it in other ways, because if that is all she is doing as your friend, I'd ditch her.
ReplyI think that this article is destructive to overweight women who have friends with good bodies. I am sure that some women didn't mean to have fat friends just because they want all the attention, but people who read this will think of it that way.
ReplyOscar (and others),
Look at her other article by the author. It's here. If you do, you'll even see a photo of her (actually, two photos). It doesn't change the article and its impact, but you'll see more of where she's coming from.
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ReplyAfter she came to visit me in phoenix two weeks ago......You bet i did.
SORRY, THE ABOUVE COMMENT WAS DIRECTED TO JANE'S. IT DIDN'T QUATE WHAT SHE WROTE BACK.
ReplyThat article is disgusting. I just don't even know what to say to that!
ReplyYou guys are pathetic using each other all the time,
Replyu remind me of the heathers, total bitches who used outcast Winona to look hot, no wonder high schools get shot up all the time and kids commit suicide when u have no respect for each other!
why cant everyone just accept people for what they are, we are all different and all beautiful whether size 0 or size 30! Although best be heathly obviously.
I'd ignore all the supermodels has role models cos they are anorexic bores who never eat!
To me, regardless of what the author's intentions were, the article makes fat women out to be losers- always left behind, always unwanted, not worth much. I really didn't feel good after reading it.
ReplyAimee, you can be cynical saying people use one another, or see it as friendships being based on people having complimentary qualities. Everyone has basically 2 kinds of friends, those that are alike, and those that are completely different. If you only have friends that are alike, you'll get bored pretty soon. It is nice to hang out with the person who has the same lifestyle and taste as yours, but it is also nice to talk to someone who is your polar opposite. I didn't mean people were being cynical and using people they secretly despise, just that the differences can attract them to one another.
ReplyHELL YEAH SUSAN I HEAR YA!!!!!! I HEAR YA. JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT THE BITCH THAT WROTE THIS "SATIRE" HAS NO SELF-ESTEEM WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING GUYS. IF SHE NEEDS HER FAT FRIENDS WITH HER IN ORDER TO ATTRACT A MAN, THEN THERE'S NO HOPE FOR HER TO ATTRACT A MAN AT ALL!!!!!! WHAT A STUPID IDIOT WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE. LMFAO!!! : )
Replyi agree with aimee!! people not having any respect for each other is the reason why shootings happen in high school and sometimes, even colleges! the people who are constantly made fun of, feel like they dont belong and noone likes them. while everyone else has tons of friends and are liked, the others are unhappy, sad and lonely. that drives them to get revenge against all who treated them like dirt. and that is why shootings, etc. take place in schools today.
ReplyI find it amusing to read all these responses. Did anyone ever consider this from the smaller friend's point of view? I have been on both sides of the coin, skinny and overweight. I can tell you when your friend in a size 3 complains about being fat, it doesn't extend to mean that the larger friend is fat. Though, the larger friend often feels that way. As an anoretic, I could not see how tiny I was, and believe me, I could pinch skin and think it was fat. Yet look at my friend and see how beautiful her curvy figure was. I honestly thought I was BIGGER than her, despite knowing in my brain my clothes were smaller. Just another perspective.
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