Because Everyone Needs to Laugh

I went on a diet - had to go on two diets at the same time 'cause one diet wasn't giving me enough food. - Barry Marter

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short. - Shelley Winters

The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck! - Author Unknown

I'm in shape. Round is a shape. - George Carlin

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason