Do Looks Matter?
Many people say that losing weight is just a health matter.
It is and it isn't. For many, a change in appearance is prime motivator.
Alfonso submitted this response to the question: "Do Looks Matter?":
Looks matter.
If they didn't, women would go out with hump-backed midgets with cerebral palsy and hair on their backs, wouldn't they? Or again, it wouldn't bother a woman to hear about her weight or clothes if looks didn't matter.
For some, looks are more important than anything else; but a well-balanced person knows looks aren't the only measure of a woman's worth. There's a proverb in the Bible, "A fair woman without discretion is as a gold ring in a swine's snout."
Sometimes men and women alter their physiques and appearance to please others. Sometimes they change it to spite those who've rejected them. If you don't have enough self-respect to like who you are and how you look, do things to build up your own self-esteem until you get to the point where you like who you are or are motivated to become the person you'd like to be.
If you aren't able to make yourself happy, you'll find no one else can overcome the burden of your self-loathing to make you happy either.
If you are happy with yourself and others aren't, you might need to alter your relationships to keep your self-respect.
If we're going to be judged, it's better to be judged for the things we chose to do rather than the things done to please others.
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Sarah,
The truth?
I'm 123 and 5'3.5", 15 years old, and I'm trying to get to the weight you are now!
Trust me, your weight sounds perfect, and if a certain boy (or any boy) will only like you with 'thinner cheeks', then he's not a good influence and not worth the trouble.
A lot of the people that will compare themselves to you are the ones that wish they looked like you, and the rest are too worried about their own zits to pay attention to anything else.
ReplyI'd also like to add, Sarah, to what Linds said, that you sound very down on yourself. I'm sure you project that as well, no confidence, not a lot of self-esteem, and that has a lot more to do with why people don't respond to you like they do to your friends and sister than your weight does. If you were actually overweight, then yes, it wouldn't be just about confidence, but you are not.
ReplyThere is definitely a correlation between a person's monetary success and the likelihood that they will be slim and/or fit. In some of the more affluent areas and neighborhoods in the city in which I live, I very seldom see noticeably overweight or obese people walking around. When I take the Metro bus the majority of the passengers on the bus who I know have lower incomes, have a much greater body mass. This is largely because 'good food' is so expensive and poorer women have more children.
ReplyHey, I am a 17 year old girl, and the reason I even came across this forum, is because, of recently, I have this friend, that I met online, and then I started to talk to him on the phone. He has an extremely sexy voice, and he makes me very happy when I talk to him, he makes me laugh, and the thing is I love him. I love him, but I had never seen him, and then when I did see him, he didn't look anything like his voice.
Now this is where I started to get confuse, cause I have always told myself, that looks doesn't matter to me, cause I am a pretty average looking girl myself. But then after I saw him, I felt extremely hypocritical. I began to wonder, if since now that I have seen him, will I react differently to him, the next time I talk to him on the phone?
I know with all my heart and soul, that I love this guy. And I have pondered about it for the whole night, about whether or not my feeling has changed for him, because he is not what I thought he would look like...and I pondered and pondered, and I finally came to the conclusion, I am just being human, by being a bit of a hypocrite. I already love this guy, I love how he talks, I love how he makes me laugh, I love how he teases me, I love how we talk for hours and hours on the phone, about everything, and about nothing, I love how he finds me interesting, and how he tells me anything, and is honest with me.
And the thing is, he has never seen me, and maybe one day, if he does, he would probably feel the same way like I felt, when I first saw him, but I can only pray, that he is the person I think he is, an accepts me for who I am, just as I have accepted him. Cause in the end, no matter how he looks, I LOVE HIM..
ReplyHi Happy!
I know you won't listen to me, but at least someone who cares will tell you. Until you meet someone in person and really know them, an online relationship is pure fantasy! You "love" him because you have a desire to love someone. Whether or not, he is the one for you, only meeting and being careful about that, is the only way to really know. I advise caution, both with your heart, and your person. OK, you have been warned!
Replyhey doc!
i always wanted to say that, it kinda makes me feel like a female bugs bunny, and in response, to what you wrote, and what i wrote, lemme clarify this I AM NOT IN LOVE with this guy, i just love him as a friend, and the reason why i even wrote about this, is because, i know alot of ppl who refuse to just be FRIENDS with someone, because of their looks, my story, was just about, looks shouldnt matter when it comes to friendship, or even a relationship for that matter.
and wow i really, didnt think this forum was still active ...
and what about u doc? do u have some great love story u wish to share?
ReplyHappy--I'll tell you a little story here...I met my husband online. We exchanged pics and IM'ed each other for a while, then we started talking on the phone (I also thought he had a VERY sexy phone voice!) and eventually we met in person. And I thought his hair was dorky and his clothes were geeky (he was an engineering major, so I wasn't expecting him to be exactly GQ or anything). But he had a lot of very desirable traits that made me see past any of his physical flaws. He cared about me and was responsible with money and was a hard worker. After we'd been dating a few months, I bought him new clothes and helped him change his hairstyle and drastically improved his looks. Now he's definitely a lot better-looking than when I met him, but we definitely have a deeper bond than that. Just a note of optimism for you...if you truly do fall in love with this guy, I'm sure you'll see past his looks.
Reply:), i am happy to hear this, cause my sister, met her husband online also, and they lived in different countries, and when they did meet, they already knew they wanted to marry each other, and they r, when the met for the first time, they got married cple months after. they are married 2 years now, and happy i think..
i am happy to hear that your husband is geeky, i am like waaaay attracted to geeky guys, i guess cause its that they are so smart, and funny, and if u really give them a chance, they make you laugh your head off ...and heck they are way better, than a handsome stud, that just knows how to, look good... as for falling inlove with this guy,i dont think that will happen.....
Reply