Teen Angst or Body Dysmorphia?
When health authorities refer to obesity they call it a "health crisis".
There is another health crisis around - and it's not about being fat. It is a mental health crisis that abounds among young teenagers.
Responding to a post on teen weight gain, Claire writes:
I hate the way I look.Her comment goes on to describe an aggressive exercise schedule, and a diet that includes no fast food and a home-made packed lunch. Claire is brimming with frustration - she cannot lose the 18 pounds that she "knows will make her look a lot better". She ends her comment with a lament: "I don't know what's wrong with me!"I am 14 years old, I weigh 128lb and I'm 5"8.
I know I'm fat, and girls at my school pick on me about it, and they tell me to lose weight.
Almost Underweight
If those personal statistics are correct, Claire has a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 19.5 - putting her in the healthy weight range but quite close to the underweight range.
A well-meaning adult may try to convince Claire that there is no problem here. However it seems Claire's opinion of her weight is more than just an opinion - it is a deeply held belief. A belief that is confirmed by her peers.
Teenage boys are not immune either.
Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) can be defined as "those who are extremely critical of their physique or self image, despite the fact there may be no noticeable disfigurement or defect" (see DSM-IV definition). BDD is sometimes referred to as "imagined ugliness".
Whether we use clinical diagnoses or not - there is a problem here - a problem that goes beyond teen angst. Claire is not worried that she might be fat - she is worried about how she cannot seem to lose weight despite "eating right and exercising".
Fat Phobia
Is there a link between this condition and the amount of obesity reporting that goes on? The alarm bells have sounded for many years now. "We are in the midst of an obesity epidemic" shout the headlines.
How does this filter through to youth? Do they fear fat as if it were impending doom? Do they believe that everyone is fat and if you're not trying to lose weight you are not normal?
Is this just teens being teens or is it symptomatic of a widespread and growing mental health 'crisis' ?
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guys you've been a lot of help lately. ok i'm probably gonna sound pathetic and everything but i'm still having trouble with all of this. i weigh about 151 now but it's still a lot. i really want to be in the middle of normal range. the thing that's bugging me the most though is that when i went swim siut shopping with my mom and friend and her mom my mom's all like " you can't wear that" which wasn't that bad but it bugs me. and this morning I was saying something to my mom about how i figured if i lose like 8 more pounds that would be good and she's like you need to lose more. which of course I know. but she's my mom, she's supposed to be supportive. she's not supposed to tell me directly to my face I need to lose more. especially when I KNOW that I need to. i'm freaking out. can anyone help????????????????????
ReplyHi Ally,
I don't know tall you are, so I don't know about 151. But, you don't sound pathetic at all.
I'm guessing that this straight talk from your mom is new? Or has she always been one who says what she thinks? (My mom was that way when I was a teenager, and still is even though she's in her 90s). If she's always been supportive and is only now getting on your case, then something changed. You can just ask her... She may actually welcome you asking, because then she'll know you want to talk, and listen.
Good luck. I wish I could tell you the care and feeding of parents gets easier, but it doesn't. They usually do give you sympathy, though, when you have your own kids.
ReplyI agree with Quito, we don't know how tall you are. If you are 5'7" or over, 151lb is really not "a lot", it is quite a good weight actually.
Ally, as bad as it is, here it goes: sometimes parents don't have all the answers. Maybe to your mom, the only way to be happy, the only she feels happy, is being thin, and to her, it is more important that you are thin (so you can also be happy, in her view) than that you accept yourself. It doesn't mean what she says is going to now magically make you feel good, but at least you can understand where she is coming from and know that she means well (even if the end result is not good). But like I said, she doesn't necessarily have all the answers. She may think you need to lose 20 or 30lb to be happy and you may not need to lose weight at all, or want to lose weight at all. Sometimes it is hard for a parent to see that their child is not exactly like them, but the reality is you aren't. You are your own person, with your own opinions.
Do you feel you have to lose weight? If so, I recommend going to see a doctor and talking about that. And about the swimsuit, you can wear anything you feel comfortable wearing. Of course, since your mom is still paying for it, you gotta take her opinion there, but don't think that her *thinking* you are too fat for a particular suit means you are, ok? It is hard to see parents as just people, but we have to try and do that to be happy.
ReplyI'm 5'4", 130 lbs, and this is for the other girl who's the same height and weight who calls being my size a "nightmare". Five years ago (I'm 19), I weighed 75 pounds, and was five foot nothing. I looked like a skeleton- you could see my ribs, my sternum, and the outlines of my internal organs (no joke- I have a picture of myself where you can clearly see my liver and pancreas). I still thought I was fat.
I'm curvy and muscular now. Yes, I have a good amount of body fat, but it's where it's supposed to be- sheilding my muscles and organs from outside damage. I measure 38 inches around my hips, 27 around my waist, and 41 around my bust (my family is blessed on both sides with busty, curvy women). I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm not anymore- sometimes that means I eat a salad and maybe some yogurt and cantelope, sometimes that means I eat an appetizer, salad, soup, 2 pounds of steak, and a piece of cheesecake. I'm losing weight now for vanity reasons- I'm getting married in 2 or 2.5 years, depending on whether I graduate one or two semesters early. If I can be happy, healthy, grow four inches after I was supposed to have stopped (I just grew the extra inch while in college), then you can too. Being heavier is not a bad thing. I'm a big girl, with big bones, a big heart, and a big brain. And as long as you're healthy, there's no reason to not be.
ReplyI think i am seriously over weight.. ya'll go look at my pictures. Im 16, 5'5 and 180.. im a binger..i need to lose weight.. help.. i dont want to become anorexic.
ReplyAngie, weighing 130 lbs at 5'4" does not make you a 'big girl'.
ReplySome of the comments in this thread make me really sad. I'm thin at 5'6" and ~57kg (~125 lbs), and yet there are so many people in this thread so much smaller, thinking that they're overweight.
ReplyKailyn, I just had a look at your pictures. You're gorgeous! Honestly, you look fine. But you're going to have to tackle the binge-eating, because you don't deserve to punish yourself in that way. I am recovering from an ED (mainly binge-eating, compulsive overeating) and I highly recommend that you check out the Something Fishy website. www.somethingfishy.org. The forums there are great.