Overweight AND Attractive?

I myself don't like being overweight (I am morbidly obese.) I don't like to be it, see it, or feel it. Yes I do believe some overweight people do look nice or good. But attractive is a vigor word. Magnetism and gravitating towards something pleasing to the eyes depends on the presentation, the attire, the head, the face, the make up or the natural, even being more familiar with seeing one and growing accustom to them, or simply in relation to them, all plays a part in our attraction to someone. If you just look at a picture of an overweight person without all of the extras and want to compliment them, who ever says what a great body? No, you talk about the other things you like about them and there is probably a lot but all debatable things have the pros and cons. I don't know how many times I overheard people make a comment "what a pretty face she has, she should lose some weight." I've heard others say "he's so cute, is only he would lose some weight." Not only are we vain but we are vain seekers per say. Does anyone really gets noticed at first by what they are inside. That's where the real attractiveness comes from, just ask a vision challenged person.

The article rings true. I work at a hospital that specializes in bariatric surgery. So many people are having this surgery EVERY day. That's how desperate people are to be thin. I've heard the nurses say that the surgery works like a miracle. The stomach is reduced to the size of a thumb. The weight just "melts" off. That urge to eat all the time just disapears for many bariatric patients. This is major surgery so occasionally people can die from the procedure. But when it's sucessful, many of the physical ailments caused by excess weight seem to get better or disappear. At least, that's what some patients tell me.
I wish we could just focus on being healthy. When we lived in a small community where the grocery store and shops were a few blocks away, it was easier to stay healthy cause we walked more. Now we live in a much larger city where everything is far away and we drive everywhere. I've really gotten out of the habit of walking anywhere except at work. There just has to be a better way than major surgery but for some it's the only way. In the meantime, it would be nice if we focused on looking at a person heart and not their girth. But I think that is something that must be taught from the cradle -and how do we fight hollywood's influence? They set the standard for what's acceptable.

Every time one of those superskinny Hollywood celebs/models comes on TV, my husband gets mad. He tells me that almost any guy out there wants a woman with some curves. Hello, men like boobs! And a rear end! Too many celebs stop eating and get stickthin and then get implants. It sets unreal expectations for normal people. Any woman who thinks they'd be better off being skinny to get a man is kidding herself...most men think stick figures are out.

OK spectra, but ask your husband what he would prefer - a girl who's slim all over, or someone who's stubbornly slim through the hips, limbs and boobs, but has a pronounced 'spare tyre' around their waist? Ah, the pleasures of being apple-shaped.. Yes, a bit of extra weight is definitely more attractive, if its in the hips and chest. But don't judge those of us who can't gain weight in 'girly' places for preferring to stay slim!

I get really tired of the media obsessing over the way overweight or obese people look! How about spending more time on talking about health issues and how to be more healthy than the way they look. I think we would stop obsessing over the question of how pretty someone is and start asking questions like how healthy are you?

I completely agree with what the article says about political correctness. On a superficial level, people feel that they should not, under any circumstances, come off as prejudiced against overweight people. So they say "overweight is OK". But go deeper and you'll see that is NOT how they really feel, they're just afraid of getting bashed for their true opinions.

What's more interesting is that they KNOW how insane and unrealistic the media's (and, consequently, the masses') obsession with thinness is, but they buy into it anyway. Based on what I read and hear these days, I may belong to the last generation of people who do not think "ugh" when they look in the mirror and see a womanly curve here or there (I'm 25, 5'9, 140-ish lbs).

Then again, it could be maturity talking. As a teen, I was as self-conscious and weight obsessed as the next girl. I wasn't medically overweight, but I was much bigger than my friends, and in a lot of teens' minds that's what really counts, because you're still working on your sense of self and it's hard not to compare yourself to others all the time. It's a good thing that I never had the courage to follow through with all the unhealthy weight loss schemes that crossed my mind. Then I started college and "grew up", so to speak. I realized that the people around me had much more on their minds than who weighed how much and what clothes they were wearing. I also realized that there will always be immature, catty nitwits jeering at anybody out of "the writ-in-stone beauty standard", but who cares about them??? It's really sad that these people have nothing else to occupy their minds with. Such mental poverty!

So, basically, my "moment of truth" came when I finally started to tune out those teenage feelings of inappropriateness and accepted myself. Incidentally, that's also when I was finally able to take a deep breath and make the nutrition/fitness decisions that I knew were best for my health. Because of that, I now feel healthy and beautiful, even though a teen at my height and weight (right in the middle of the normal BMI range) would probably consider herself morbidly obese and burst into tears! So yes, I believe our society is much too focused on an impossible beauty ideal (even more so in Brazil, where I live), and yes, there's a lot of hipocrisy going on when people claim that they don't think overweight people are ugly. But I think this is mostly a problem of the very young and impressionable, as opposed to an irreversible trend.

I am 16yrs old and weigh 18stone I can't stand it. I hate seeing fat people always comparing myself, saying do I look like that. What scares me the most is the awnsers yes. Yes I do. No-one wants fat but some people want skinny... so skinny is prefered over morbidly obese, But if we're talking curvy, then i hardly call that fat or skinny... How is a over-hanging belly possible attractive? puh-lease. It's sad my brother is 10 has already been sucked in by the media... he thinks hilary duff is fat? jeez, it makes me sick. But this guy i know called Robert prefers his girls will a little more than something on them.... I guess it all depends on the person...

And come on who are we kidding you have two people you like both great personality and all that. both pretty. But ones fat and ones thin? Who would you choose?

I guess that it would be less "difficult" to deem an overweight guy or gal attractive if the deemer was, or had been, overweight themself. I haven't discussed the matter with anyone in depth, but I've constructed the hypothesis that what makes overweight people unappealing to the masses is that they're precieved as dependant upon something; that they are weak or controled, and therefore, less of a person/f'ugly. There must be a social loophole for smokers, alcoholics, and other "additcts", because they typically manage to have a date when Friday night rolls around.
In complete honesty, as I have gotten older (well, relatively--- I'm 16, so I suppose "matured" would be a better fit term) and lost weight, physique has meant less and less to me. I've always had a peculiar taste in men, though, when compared to that of the majority of my peers. What ev. ;)
For example (because I seize every possible opportunity to rant about him): I find Peter Gabriel to be absolutely gorgeous (inside, outside, every side/I worship his fillings) at all stages of life, be he a long-haired bean pole at 20 (http://www.andessur.com/expositores/004_DC/004_Hablar/004_musica/004_imagenes/lamb_03.jpg) or a balding non-bean pole at 56 (http://www.sme.bg/images/archives/2004_peter_gabriel_big.jpg). To be perfectly clear, I consider his early 90's self to be most alluring, and he wasn't exactly ripped(http://www.solsburyhill.org/scrapbook/eighties_nineties/yummypg.jpg). Come to think of it, I'd love him as a stump, so this section of my commentary is futile. I'll stop.
Returning to something, er, RELEVANT, I agree wholeheartedly with your observation of increased political correctness. I hear and see examples of it constantly. Americans aren't doing themselves any favors by trying to conceal their true beliefs, nor are they fooling anyone. I don't mind when people say "happy holidays" in a town where 99% of the population is advertly Christian; it's an attempt to be respectful, and I've been known to partake in it. THIS consesus, however, bugs the bejebus outta me. Is that hipocritical?

Pardon the strange formatting and spelling mistakes (specifically, those random gaps and "hypocritical"). I must have been on a roll. :D

I don't have to look beautiful for all the men in the street.I 'll love only one man and what other men think about me doesn't interest me.Who are they?Brad Pitt?So I don't have to be attractive to anyone except the person I will choose.

Well said Derin. That's exactly the way I feel, except coming from a male's point of view.

I don't understand people who insist on looking sexy for total strangers when there is already somebody they are devoted to.

I just had an argument with my husband on the same topic today and I was bemused to find out that ..in this so called modern world ..it's not important how u feel and think about yourself. What ppl think u and how they see u matters the most......sad ...indeed very sad.

and who on this earth decides what is 'overweight'? and why ppl blindly follow that 'set trend'?

if the over weight person has a bigger heart than body and they show it, then they are beatiful. If not then they are ugly.

"I don't understand people who insist on looking sexy for total strangers when there is already somebody they are devoted to."

And what if there isn't? This is where the insecurity of adolescence (and into twenties or even thirties) comes in. As someone with a fulfilling career and a lot of confidence, but who has an eating disorder that she is acutely aware of at all times, I can say that these "cliche" answers about the size of your heart and the ability to see through it all don't give me much guidance.

Oh, and on a topic from earlier, yes - as someone with an ED, and someone who was formerly a size 14 (now a 4), I definitely find myself extremely judgmental of those who are overweight. Some of it might be an "I did, so you should be able to as well - stop complaining" mentality. But I think a big chunk of it is a fear of returning to being too big.