Are Thin People Unhappy?

You are right that people react more favorably to "normal" weight people. You just have to go into a clothes shop to understand that. It is also an extremely superficial form of popularity.

I agree that happiness is a choice – the ability to choose our attitude and reaction to our life experiences is one we all may demonstrate or we can elect to react to our environment and assume a victim mentality.

Unfortunately I believe there is some validity to the statement, "If only I was slim then I would be [happy/sexy/loved/popular]". Studies have shown the people react more favorably to normal weight or non-obese individuals all other things being equal.

People react differently to me now that I am a muscular 225 pounds with 10% body fat than they did when I was an obese 295 pounds with over 30% body fat. It is very obvious that I get more respect from guys and women flirt with me. Does that change who I am? No, however it makes getting though the day easier and much more fun, and that affects my mood and attitude.

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I know that when I'm stressed and depressed I lose weight. Maybe this could explain the low BMI. Usually people who commit suicide dont do it within the first month of depression. Its usually long drawn out depression that leads to suicide.

I believe that happiness comes from within, and happens first.

I do agree that after losing 65 pounds, people reacted more favorably towards me, perhaps showing more respect.

However, the catch is this ... that only impacts my happiness if I choose to give it away. In other words, if happiness is just about what everyone else thinks, then yes, those favorable reactions will make me happier.

I'd rather take that responsibility for myself. After all, I can't please everyone or change anyone else, so why make my happiness depend on it?

When I struggled to lose weight at 245 pounds with a 44" waist, I gave away my power to others. I was afraid to take my shirt off at the pool because I knew everyone would laugh and ridicule me ... those were my thoughts. However, when I reached the level where I knew I was ready to be responsible for my happiness and take charge, guess what? I was still overweight, but it didn't matter. I stopped worrying about everyone else. I learned to be happy with me ... I decided to be a happy, lean person (and hey, it was okay if it took longer for my outside to catch up).

That resulted in losing 35 pounds over 12 weeks and transformed my life.

More important than how others react is WHY people are at either extreme. There is usually an underlying reason behind the weight ... some people do it out of insecurity, and feel being overweight helps them become invisible. Sometimes women do it to avoid attention from men, sometimes men do it to avoid dealing with issues (i.e. getting a fix from food like a drug), sometimes children do it because their parents convince them that happiness is about eating (i.e. whenever they are rewarded, it is with food).

Jeremy

Jeremy: "I decided to be a happy, lean person (and hey, it was okay if it took longer for my outside to catch up)." Yes! That is empowerment and I think people notice that even if your physical self is not the muscular/slim ideal.

Thanks for your comments.

I agree with this article. Happiness is a choice. You can not judge the happiness of a person... fat or not. I am overweight and I'm not the happiest person in the world...I've had my ups and downs. I know thin people who are unhappy. I also know fat and thin people who are also perky. So you cannot judge people, but I personally believe that I'd be happier if I was thin. I don't think the reason why I think that is because I'd be healthier, but being a teenager means appearance is EVERYTHING!

As someone who has struggled with weight and food since I was 8 yrs old this is an interested question. I also have a mood disturbance (bipolar type 2) and I will say this response might not apply to everyone. But when I was 120 lbs, I was happier about my weight but miserable and depressed and suicidal when it came to the rest of my life - enough so to merit my hospitalization. Everyone told me I looked terrible even though I still think it wasn't an unreasonable weight at 5'6", I guess for my body type (what can I say, I have hips, curves, etc and it all just became angular and sunken in) it was unreasonable. Now, at almost 140 lbs I am told I look fabulous but I FEEL completely depressed about my body. So I am not as thin, but getting mroe positive attention from others and it isn't making me happy because I myself am unhappy. I guess the point of this is that no matter what you weigh, what really counts is how YOU see yourself and that is going to determine your happiness. I can remember times when I was 145lbs in the past and felt sexy and attractive. I can remember times when at 118lbs I felt like I was puffy and gruesome to anything male. I've been in a long term relationship now for 2 yrs and right before than another long term serious one in which I clearly had the love and attention I wanted, but none of that matters. It's all about YOURSELF and how YOU see yourself, not necessarily about how others see you. Sometimes we're our own worst critic (cliche, but very true)

As a younger teenager i used to be overweight i was bullied, teased ,hated but i was happy ,here and there i would cry over the situation untill oneday i throught i will lose the weight to be liked which intentionally was wrong. i lost the weight the wrong way but for me its depressing to think i have to watch everything i eat. i want to stay thin or skinny as my mum would put it.If i eat over a certain level that i think is too much i blame myself and worry i will put on weight.And this article as helped me,due to the christmas season i have not been to the gym and allowed myself the odd treat even though i had a small portion of ice cream today and a small roast im going to eat some more even though ive eatin a lite dinner already.Because you know what i dont care anymore im a teenager life shouldnt be like this.But im not going to eat over the top i will maintain a healty but laidback approach to eating.:)

Being naturally thin is not all that it is cracked up to be. I'm 5.2" and 110lbs. I wish I was able to put on more weight. Unfortunately, my metabolism is very fast and I burn off all of the weight that I do manage to gain. I've been looked at strangely by people that I come across and do not know. They probably think that all thin people starve themeselves. But the truth be told, I eat like a pig. So being thin can lead to unhappiness. People who are slightly overweight want to lose weight while people who are naturally thin would like to gain weight. However, in my life, I've learned that it's important to love yourself regardless of your weight. Worrying too much about what people think will make you try to live up to unrealistic expectations and can definately lead to unhappiness and depression.

I am only 15 but I am fairly short and like being extremly slim. You see I wrestle and I like to beat up on realy little fat kids. But I must say more bad then good comes from haveing only 6% body fat I almost always feel sick or hungery

I am male, 6 feet tall and just over 140 pounds, I have never been able to put on weight and am very thin, consequently I have received jibes about my size all of my life ranging from people treating me as If I'm not there; incapable of certain tasks or just general piss-taking. I have no confidence and have not had a relationship for 6 years, previous relationships have failed because I was considered too thin by shallow partners. I eat an immense amount of food and have tried every possible medication to no avail. Life is shit and If it wasnt for the fact I am catholic and fearful of going to hell, and the fact that I have loving parents, then I would have already committed suicide. I therefore conclude that this article is pretty accurate.

im 20 yrs old, 5'6 and weight 120lbs. I am happy on the outside not on the inside. I've been struggling with an eating disorder since I was about 13. I agree with the article up to a point. I don't judge obese people, but I would hate to be obese myself because I happen to like being skinny. Does it make me happy? Not really. I can't eat too much if I do I'll nearly starve for days... I'm usually weak, tired and without energy unless I drink lots of coffee. Sometimes I wish I could eat all I want and not worry about it. So no being SKINNY doesn't really make you happy.. when you have an ed it's more like an addiction.

and also I forgot to mention that being fat cannot (precisley) equal happiness... because If I were completely obese I'd probably shoot myself.

i just want a sample to see if i like them before i by them

Im aged 25, im 6'5" tall, i dont have much of an appetite, thus making me thin. I am extremely self conscience about my weight and height, im so so skinny and my elbows are so boney, i hate my body leading to virtualy no confidence and self-esteem. I am at a point were I really dont know what to do, this problem is affecting my whole life, relationships, jobs etc etc!

jeremy Likness,this is similar to what I do.When I stopped minding what the others say about me,everything started to change.Even mum told me that she had good dreams about me in which she saw me talking to others confidently,which I hadn't done before.And I had good dreams that I was on the right way.But this is a process,doesn't happen one time.It starts with noticing,realising that you don't have to please everyone,never mind them,that they are not supernatural etc.Then you begin to view the world from a different perspective and begin to love some humans.

Hi im 15 years old my birthday is july 30 1990, And i hate being skinny it makes me so depressed and worried about what people are going to think about me..I don't starve myself either...it's just so depressing it makes me so emotianol about what other people think of me. I just want to be normal bulk so people think diffrent about me. pleasepost some replys

Don't mind others.Don't care about people's thoughts.I know it is hard but not impossible.If someone insults you for being skinny,tell them'I am not skinny,you are fat.'I read about a fat person somewhere.He was insulted by people for his fatness and then he began to tell them'I amnot fat you are skinny'.And it worked.Don't be worried.Please, people we see around us everyday aren't collin farrell,brad pitt etc.They are like us.

I have been fighting this company since March (It is now July 26). I am totally exhausted. My Discover card sided with these scammers. Oh, I called the number for Scott Moberly and was told they did not know who he was and they never heard of Metabolfuel - this company was Nexpidite! And "Lisa" at customer service only says, "Ma'am, you should not have disputed the charges. We won't issue a refund because you disputed the charges." I've got this reply about 4 times. I've wrote to the BBB, the Attorney General. I've threated to write every credit card company that sends me a free off and post the rip-off reports. I threated to sell them on e-bay for cheap just so I could tell everyone no to buy from Metabolfuel. She didn't care. Maybe she won't have a job soon. I'm exhausted!

If you think about it. It is not the wieght. Its not the quantity of food...it is the quality.

I think people miss the entire point.
Its not your WEIGHT that makes you look good or feel good. Its the foods you are eating that make you an unhealthy fat or an unhealthy THIN.
Some overweight people look incredible. They are shining and healthy. Some thin people are alcoholics or just sickly to look at.
DIET is a mis- used word.
If your 'diet' is to eat chemicals and sugar and alcohol and trans fats...... All day long. Then in a few years you probably will need a 'diet' of pills prescribed by a doctor to cure whatever disease you developed in your liver and kidneys or your BRAIN. ((ok...and all the fat you carry around))
Are these chemicals that are called preservatives and additives and coloring destroying your good mood??? Aspertame. Saccharin. SUGAR!
....isn't it funny that people spend so much on makeup and facial creams and whatever.....
The best facial is a steady daily munching of raw vegetables. Seriously. It will make your face glow if you eat a baggie of cut carrots, peapods and cherry tomatoes every day. and a brisk walk! You will be glowing.

Probably take care of the depression too.

Thanks to this web-site and the information provided, I got my refund from Metabolfuel. The first number only referred me to a company called Nexpidite; however, further searching led me to the right place. Thanks to all of you for sharing your information!

These are are really good points. I believe people that are unhappy need to stop and learn to take care of themselves. They need to enhance their life emotionally, spirutally, intellectually, and realize that they lend value to the human race in some way.

Also, I believe that people that tease and torment you about some external attribute are also unhappy. Bringing you down makes them feel better about themselves because in beating you down raises them above you.

That is why choosing quality people to have relationships is critcal. If someone cannot treat you with the respect afforded by all human kind, then it's time to cut ties and find somone that can see the value you lend to the human race.

I lost about 20 pounds. but there is something wrong with me: i dont think I look any different! my hips seem so huge to me.
I am 13 years old, 5'7", and 106 pounds. my doc says i am 6 pounds underweight, but everywhere I check online says I am fine. I kind of like being considered "skinny" and don't really want to gain weight. why should I, if I am happy and physically healthy? jeez.
i don't think thin=happy. otherwise, if i am as skinny as everyone keeps telling me, i would be the happiest person in the world. but i am most definately not.

i am almost 14 5 feet 7.5 in 123 pounds agree with Maggie

im 14 and soooo skinny. i eat and eat but neva put on wight. I hate it because im soo flat chested becuz i have no wight and i cant do anythin about it cuz wen i eat i dnt put on wight.Also im so small that if i go to shops like select with my friends i never fit in the clothes becuz there too big and size 6's are still baggy on me and i never find a size 4 so i end up goin to places like tammy or the teen section in new look while my mates are in older shops! i hate being skinny so if your curvy you are so lucky dont ever change, being skinny is so miserible. Trust me!

If you're only 14, your body isn't done changing yet. You may always be skinny but you'll gain those womanly attributes - like hips!

is a bmi of 19.8-20 bad? i feel so huge! I am 14 and almost 5 ft. 7in. I weigh 128 pounds.

A BMI like that is perfectly normal. That's healthy. ^^

That article is really interesting. I'm 20, 5 ft 6 and only roughly 103lb. I have a tiny frame and I've always had a really fast metabolism but I hate being so thin, it's awful. I don't feel like people take me seriously. I look a lot younger than I am and consequently I have no confidence whatsoever.
My friends constantly tell me I'm so thin.. that I have bony shoulders and tiny wrists. I eat regularly, though not necessarily healthily (student!) it may not help that i've been a vegetarian most of my life, but I've tried to gain weight. When I realise I can't gain weight I find myself not eating because of frustration.. of course this makes me lose weight which I struggle to gain back, so I'm caught in a vicious cycle.
I'd give anything to have a normal figure.

I'm tall and slim, and it has it's good and bad sides. I'm a runner, my training made me slim, I was sucessful in sports, had a lot of fun participating and met a lot of nice people. I still enjoy running and many forms of exercise. I'm happy and proud of my body because I work hard for it, but I know that is not all that defines me as a person. Now for the sad side of being slim. When I go out in public, there are always women, who I've never met before, who look me up and down, and glare at me. When I'm at work, there are always women who say I have an eating disorder just because I'm slim, and constantly try to put me down because of my size. They also get mad when they find out that because I'm active and tall, I don't starve or deprive myself and actually eat quite normally. That doesn't exactly make me unhappy, but it's annoying and it makes me dread work, and want to avoid people who I might otherwise enjoy being around. In this day and age thin people are a minority. Picking on thin people seems to be the last form of legal discrimination. Constantly having women fixating on your body, what you eat and putting you down just because of your size is very draining. I do wish people would focus more on doing positive things for themselves and their own health and physical fitness.

hi, i'm 15 and i am 5'7 and i weigh 98 pounds. people always say to me "god louise your so skinny it's not fair" but tbh i hate it. i've never been happy with the way i look. unlike most skinny people i do have boobs. i'm a c cup but the rest of me is stick thin espesh my legs so i never wear skirts. a lot of people tell me im pretty and lucky but i honestly don't feel it. the other thing i hate is that guys don't like skinny girls, but no matter what i eat (and trust me i eat a lot) i don't seem to ever put on weight. i know that i'm healthy and stuff it's just i used to get picked on for being skinny and it gets me really down. how can i put on weight healthily and fast? please help

dear: skinny & flat chested
im 16 an i don't fit in size 6's an i eat like a horse
i found u should just b happy for what u r
if u are eat well then u find that u won't b flat chested 4 long even if the weight doesn't go on ur tummy
if u wanta talk about any weight problems about thiness feel free to talk 2 me on my msn it's

charlottelincoln@hotmail.com
if you wana talk about been thin 2 a person who has lived through it

I think we are all striving to be an ideal weight, not underweight, nor the other side of the spectrum. Depression can effect both scenarios.

I've really come to believe that it really is about whats inside. I've struggled with an eating disorder on and off since i was 19 (now 26). I'm 5ft 7.3 and I can weigh anywhere between 120 -143 lb. Now they are not unhealthy weights and when i'm at my lowest I have only one positive thing i can say about it, little clothes fit WOW. I ask myself 'is that it'? Beacause its when i'm at my skinniest i'm most unhappy, i'm constantly thinking i've got to keep this weight and so exercise too much binge and purge and become clinically depressed. When i'm bigger i spill over my jeans and have to wear a size uk 12 again WOW! But aleast i can enjoy that 1 choc bar or chinese food because i'm not in the mentality of needing to preserve something, I just relax more. But then, I watch t.v or read something and see that Its 'wrong' to be happy and be a larger so I diet. Its stupid all of this, crazy mental world.Its a vicious cycle I can't seem to break out of. We live in this society where we are judged on our size!!!!!!!Only because we let it, Girls we need to fight back, I've never been fat but I can tell you i've suffered from and image problem as much as someone who is inhappy and obease. I'm educated, i studied psychology and ny own research was on weight, and body dissatisfaction, I am still victim to these pressures even though I know its all bulls***! We have to love each other, its not important what we look like (I want to believe this as i write it), I'm going to focus my attention on other issues away from size and shape, I'm in control of my happiness, If i think I look sexy in my underwear no matter what size I am, that man in frount of me sure is cause he is gunna feed off my confidence. Does this make any sense to anyone?

I am thin n so i want to put on weight so can anybody suggest me any capsules or injections so tat i acn put upto some 5 to 8 kgs in 1 or 2 months.some one plz help me

Sustaining weight for any diet is hard, you have to have a real strong mentality to sustain it.

You bring up some interesting points in this post. It seems like many people are never happy with their weight, even if in other peoples eyes it's the right weight.

I am a thin person and i am not to happy about it. i can see how bigger people are unhappy with it but they think skinny is the best thing ever. when you take your shirt off and you have your collar and shoulder bone sticken out an inch and a half is kinda immbarassing, not to mention you can see your ribs. i just recently got so pissed off that i cant gain weight becasue i probably have the fastest metabalism in the world that i am going to do something about it. any tips.

P.S. Being skinny isnt all what it is talked up to be.

I'm 27, and am 5'-5", and weigh 94 pounds. This is about 35 pounds below my body's natural set point... when I was 17 and playing soccer, running cross-country, playing volleyball, I weighed 130. I hated my weight back then, and always believed if I was thinner, I would be happier. I have been bulimic and anorexic for the last ten years, and at the start, I convinced myself that once I got down to 110, I would be happy. I got there, and was still convinced that I was fat, and my next goal was 100. I was still "fat" then. Last year I got down to my lowest ever, 88 pounds. I was a physical and mental wreck. Starving myself for days and weeks on end, constantly obsessing about food, every other thought drowned out by my hunger and desperate desire to eat, which was tempered by my absolute terror at gaining weight. Alternated with period of time where I would binge to the point that food would start backing up in my throat, and then violently throwing it all back up. Taking a box of laxatives every single day for the last six years. I am incredibly unhappy, and don't know how it will ever end. No matter how thin I am (and yes, I do know I am thin, I constantly have people making jokes about it to me, which appalls me), I cannot be happy. If there is one thing I learned, it is what many posters have already wrote... that happiness really has nothing to do with your weight. It is not a simple causal relationship. One affects the other... and it is different for every person. For me, weight is just an excuse for my emotions. I have been trying to define my level of happiness with my weight for so long, and look where it has gotten me.
I think true happiness comes from having a well-balanced, comprehensive idea of your life, where weight is just a small part of it. Where eating is a pleasure, and not a curse, not a punishment, not a reward or an escape. Happiness is not relying on others' assessment to determine your own self-worth. Happiness is having a passion in life, a sense of self-worth that does not come from external appearance. This is incredibly difficult in our image-obsessed society. We are a culture of facade, of 30-second sound bites, devoid of substance and having enough of an attantion span only for a cursory glance at anything. So I think it is a society-wide problem, that no matter what weight a person is, we cannot be happy. The media is constantly bombarding us with the message that we cannot be happy until we "lose those ten pounds," "get that hot bikini body," etc. We are denigrated to bodies, and conditioned to be in a state of constant, obsessive self-disapproval. I could go on and on.

yeah james..i fully agree with you...i am naturally thin,my ht is 5'3" n i weigh 99pounds or 45kg my BMI calender tells me i should be around 49-55kg...but gaining even a single kg is a HUGE TASK for me ..i just dont put on weight...n have been like this all my life...but now its killing me inside...i always put on a happy face ...I try to be happy n dont realy put on a sad face..but now i really feel sad inside n wish i die...i too have a very loving family n a very loving husband who keeps saying that he loves me the way i am ...but i know ...that somewhere inside his heart he wants me gain weight..wherever i go, people tell me u r so thin...i desperately try to gain weight ...but all my efforts fall flat...i dont want to be perfect ..i just wish to be normal...i m simply becoming obsessed with it..i keep thinking about it n i feel if i keep going on like this..i will collapse soon n this obsession will take over my better side