Ever Been Humiliated?
A careless remark, a look, a moment of shame. It's a single event that stands out forever in your memory. It's the moment you decided to put your self-worth into someone else's hands. It's your humiliating moment - and it was the catalyst for change. Whether you were too skinny, too fat, or made to feel just plain ugly - how many of us remember the moment of humiliation that caused us to draw a line in the sand - and begin changing our bodies?
In the Western Mail today:
Sian Wembridge was afraid she would be embarrassed if she could not squeeze her 22-stone frame into the tester seats at the Florida theme park.For many, their humiliating moment also begins a nosedive into a pit of self-loathing.She watched aghast as Disney staff turned away large people who could not do up the seat-belts on rides such as Thunder Mountain.
So instead of putting herself through the ordeal, she pretended to her family that she was too scared to go on the rides.
The experience traumatised the former care assistant so much she vowed to lose weight so she could enjoy activities with her family...
Instead of turning your shame into self-hate, turn the shame into anger - anger at the belief that we have to look a certain way. Channel the anger into energy - and pour the energy into strengthening and nourishing your body. Don't be surprised if you transform yourself on the way.
Have you ever had a humiliating moment? Did it mark a turning point in your life?
I think my moment came when I was in Las Vegas last year. I was walking down the strip when my thighs became so chaffed that I began to bleed through my pants. I have since lost 35 pounds and I am on my way to meeting my goal. I still hate myself at times but I am getting better.
ReplyThe one that really made me take action was going shopping with my friends one day. This store had a really great sale on pants, and the size I THOUGHT I wore was there. My friends were like "Oh, they only have heifer pants left, let's leave". I said, "Well, I'm going to try this pair and we'll see if they fit". My friends waited while I went into the dressing room and I fit them over my legs....barely. I managed to get them sort of over my hips, but I had to bend my legs to force my butt into them. All of a sudden...RRRIIIPPP! The leg seams split on BOTH legs. I couldn't believe it! I had to buy the stupid pants and then I threw them out and started on my life-changing plan.
ReplyI was going to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding. She and her other bridesmaids were all tiny petite little things, and I was a size 20. We went browsing for dresses at Jessica McClintock, and they looked aghast at me. "Oh, we'll have to SPECIAL ORDER yours. I don't know if we'll have that dress big enough for you!"
I am evil, but I was almost relieved when the wedding didn't go forward.
I didn't do anything about it at the time, but I think that started the process.
ReplyI am sorry. I don't get it. Why is it a problem if I am obese, don't fit in a standard chair, and I am refused service to protect me from injury?
The only thing to be angry about is my personal inability to gain control of my weight. That channeled, as you said, into self-control definitely will have a positive fruition.
ReplyLiberate, it's not a problem that someone (obviously not you) might be refused service for their own protection. It's a problem that they do the seat-fitting out in public view where your obesity is on public display for all to notice and comment on. They make it into a freak show.
ReplyI personally have never been in this situation, but my father has. He has been obese ever since I can remember, and I vividly recall one time when we went out to a restaurant as a family, we were given a booth. He could not fit in the booth, and we had to ask for a table. I was so embarassed, not in the "my father is fat, how mortifying" teenage way, but just simply feeling terrible for him. I thought "He must be so embarassed". It was really upsetting for me. He didn't seem to mind, but I'm sure he did inside.
ReplyNo, for me humiliation only led to not wanting to leave the house.
ReplyI had put on a bit of weight over the christmas break from eating way too much chocolate & take out,
ReplyOn my first day back to work my uniform pants we're now too tight & I wasn't wear anything else.
They we're embarrassingly uncomfortable for the first few days until I finally ended up splitting my pants sitting down for lunch in the cafe.
I was in the locker room at school one year ago we had just came from gym and i went to put my jeanes on, and the button flew off I was so embarrised, but also I did not lose any weight...I gained like 50lbs the next year
ReplyIt was just looks from people/the way they act.
When I was really big, the club leader wanted to take us to the part for a semi-science trip in High school.
She drove her mini van . I had 2 thin friends step into the last seat, I wanted to go in the back as well , but they made it impossible by acting like " wait, umm...dont you want to sit in the front" and basically being not accomodating. I sadly sat in the front and felt bad.when we got to the park,there was this bar that everyone had to step over. I as the "fat one" back then had a hard time getting over and almost fell flat. They didnt help, they just laughed and gave me that look ( the one that people give when they are looking at your body and judgeing it). I was so sad.
but that wasnt really it.
At the end of sophomore year I decided to get my weight checked by my the school nurse. She weighted me in at 196 lbs. Im 5'5.5 so that was really big for me. I went home crying that day. Thats when I decided that I was tired of being the fat kid. I wanted to be thin and I wasnt going to stop until I got there. i found a book on weight training for teens ( by joyce vedral, Ph.d) and did Denise Austin workout videos.
fastforward to the end of senior year, I was finally thin. I got down to 150lbs which is perfect for my height and build. I got compliments form everyone. Girls that looked at me with disgust finally started to talk to me and wave at me.Teachers pulled me aside and said congrats. I was wearing a size M in juniors for the first time since I could remeber.
so what happened?
College now, Im a freshman and gained the freshman 15 -about half of what I lost I gained back. I have a thin roomate from HS that I live with. I have had to go to counseling because the sudden weight gain caused me to induce anorexia. I was depressed. I am soo good at tormenting myself! I wonder if I will ever get back down to a size M, but there is hope. I can feel the size L's I have getting alittle looser. Jeans that could not fit me now go up my thighs and to my waist. But they are too tight to wear about. I am going back home soon so I will not have as much food around me. Hopefully by fall 2006 I will be back into all my thin clothing. but you know what,
I hate the way I get flack for eating right. I am surrounded by naturally thin people. SO when I eat my pasta and brocolli and monitor my portion sizes they notice Im not eating the greasy burger or doubling up on ice-cream. And sometimes I get called on it like, "you eat so healthy". dont get me wrong.
I like knowing what I eat helps contribute to my well being and that I know more about my weight ,body and food then they will ever have to know, but I do hate having to hear it! I eat what they eat, just not in mamonth portions!
okay so I kinda went off of point, but I am motivated to get back in shape! wish me luck! I cant wait 'till Im normal agian!
Reply=D
I've been humiliated many times.But I don't wanna talk about it.I was like Jan.I never used to go out even if I had to.But now I go out to do my job on my own.For example I go to the bank myself and pay my tuition.My brother used to do this simple thing for me before.It is good to do things by yourself.I still don't like going out much but I do whenever I have things to do outside. I became obese for staying at home.I've always wanted to go to England but couldn't because I didn't go out.I'll be out more this summer because I will have lots of things to do.
ReplyThere are so many it's hard to pick just one, but last summer I went to a fair that was set up for the weekend in our mall parking lot.
There was this ferris wheel type thing, but you are in a seat and you go upside down. Well I was with my husband and kids, and a friend with her hubsand and kids. Nobody wanted to try the ride, so I went alone. Well I wasn't able to lock the harness. I thought what am I gonna do if the guy tells me I have to get off, how embarassing. So he went to get an extension, and I only hope nobody noticed (yeah right). Then as the ride went on, I was terrified, wondering if the extension is as safe as the normal harness, thinking I would die.
I told my husband that night, crying. I said I really had to do something. As usual, for a year now I've been trying and trying and not following through and hating myself for it. Sound familiar?
ReplyI had to take swimming in High school for physical education. I was so embarassed when I had to take my 280 pound self out in front of all these women and 'fit' guys.
ReplyNow, nine months later, and several hundred miles of treadmill later, I am no longer afraid to take my shirt off.
- I never cheated with weight-loss pills or anything, but I did have to 'starve' myself for a while.
All my friends called it the Richard Simmons diet:)
I had been in recovery from anorexia for 8 months and was doing really well (back to my normal weight of 112 lbs at 5'6.5") when I decided to take the plunge and start dating again.
On our first date, I wore a sundress that I thought suited me. My date looked me up and down and said, "You know, you're really almost perfect."
Cue a major relapse.
ReplyAlbi - I'm concerned at your reaction to your date's remark. I'm sure he meant it as "really perfect" (because no-one, not even models, are absolutely perfect). Or maybe he added the qualifier "almost" because he didn't want to sound fake or over-the-top.
Speaking for myself here, women who have, or have had, weight problems are *so* hyper-sensitive, it can be hard to compliment them. And most men can get a bit tongue-tied around women, or don't quite express themselves as well as they'd like.
I hope you're OK now.
ReplyThis entire semseter at Junior college was a state of humilation. I had an associates degree in Japanese language, I was hired as a tutor, but for one reason or another, I decided to stay one more semester. I was so emotionally drained I could barely maintain myself in social situations.
When people started gossiping about me, I decided I need to get out of Los Angeles for good. I'll miss the tourist attractions, and the food, but I can't stay there and be miserable anymore.
My options are Hawaii and Japan.
Replywhen i was 23, i got into a fight with a 14 year old black chick. although i was much bigger than her she put a beating on me i won't forget. she had superior hand speed and strenght for a young girl, and tottally dominated me, knocking me out cold in about 30 seconds. i was out for at least 20 minutes. she taunted me repeatedly as she hit me, but i was no match. very humiliating, as a couple of other girls witnessed this.
ReplyI just had my most humilitating experience 30min ago. I am 45yrs old, married and have 3 teenagers. My husband and I have had serious financial stress in the past year and I have gained weight. In the past couple of weeks I have decided to do something about it. 30min ago I received a phone call from my father-in-law asking when our baby was due. When I was clearly speechless he proceeded to go on and on about how huge my stomach is and how fat I have gotten. I have never been to angry, embarassed and humiliated all at the same time. When he called I was on my way out for some exercise and now I just want to hide in my house.
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