Fat Stereotypes: Alive and Well

I was watching "On the Money" last night and they had a whole feature on the WalMart thing. Apparently, it is indeed about keeping their healthcare costs down. They said that on average, WalMart only spends $1.53 annually per employee on healthcare (They try to keep as many people part-time as possible to avoid having to pay them benefits). They will now be doing the "physical activity" testing for all the applicants because they don't want to hire anyone that is too fat, too old, or too handicapped to work at their store. They figure by only hiring healthy people that they will be able to "roll back" their prices even more.

I don't see the physical activity test as being any sort of benchmark for job ability at WalMart though. Why not just ask the 16 year old stock workers to go grab carts? Let the old people be greeters if that's what they can handle. I wonder if their new policy will eliminate greeters entirely. It sounds to me like that's the road they want to go down.

To an extent, I think overweight people sort themselves out of jobs they might not be able to handle. I've been obese most of my life and I purposely never applied for a grocery clerk position because I knew I'd have to stand up all day. Instead, I've done office temp work and once a phone survey job. When I was doing phone surveys I noticed a lot of my coworkers were fat like me. I probably wasn't the only fat person who liked the idea of being able to sit down all day.

I hate to say this, but this is true. I have lost 32 lbs. in the last 2 months and I can see a clear difference in the way women act towards me and the way I'm treated in general shopping for clothes and going to clubs. I was 240, I'm now 208. Not too big of a change in number for a 5'11 guy, but a huge change in attitude from others.

Meanwhile I work with a woman who is one of the nicest, kindest people I've ever met. She is middle-aged, has a great personality, but she is huge. She's around 400 lbs., if not more. If I had not been forced to work at her, I'd be quick to pass judgements in my head that she is lazy, etc., but I know she's not. She works 2 jobs and has a family and grandkids, she's a good person. The only problem I have is that she has poor will power, and beyond that, she eats the worst foods possible (fried stuff, cakes, cookies, etc.) and far too much of them. It doesn't change the good person she is though.

Stereotypes are alive and well, and it is a sad thing in part, but it also can help people see the truth about their lifestyles as well, and then they can make changes for the positive.

I remember dealing with "fat girl" stereotypes too. I never got even so much as a glance from men. I asked a boy to homecoming in high school and he said "Maybe if you lose some weight first!" Going to stores with my friends always sucked because I could never find any clothes. Almost all of that changed when I lost weight...I had guys asking me out right and left and store clerks were very eager to help me shop. It's not right, that's for sure. I know a lot of heavier people that are very capable of doing their jobs and a lot of thin people that are lazier than a sloth.

Hey....has anyone ever heard of DISCRIMINATION??? Wal-Mart SELLS clothing for the overweight/obese people....in other words, they'll gladly except the 'fat people's" money...but they don't want to hire these same types to be employees!?!??? It's disgraceful & I for one will now boycott Wal-Mart based on their discriminatory & double-standard policies!!! As for being overweight, yes, I can say people do normally treat you differently...but I think it's more about self-esteem/image more so than anything. People who are overweight/obese tend to emit an attitude of substandardness. Pick your heads up, shoulders back, a smile on your face & go after what you seek to gain!!

Ah, the stereotype of the lazy fat person. What eludes so many people is that perhaps one is overweight because s/he works too much too many hours, has a family to take care of, and basically doesn't have much time/energy left in the evening to cook healthy meals and exercise? It's easy to fall in this trap, really. It's not even a lack of willpower in itself, from what I've seen. For instance, if my timetable demands me to choose between 1 hour of exercising and 1 hour of writing a chapter for my novel, which one would I choose? In all honesty, probably the writing part, and this is not out of laziness and lack of will to bust my ass, but simply because I want to finishe the darn book. So yeah, I'm not losing weight as fast as I could, and then? There are so many aspects of life we need to take care of, and only 24h in a day.

Oh Spectra, i'm sorry....i had similar experiences when i was fat. As soon as i lost weight, i was shocked at how much better complete strangers treated me, which made me so angry and sad, because it made me realise just how true my beliefs were that my "worth" as a person was judged on my appearence. The ironic thing is, now i'm thin, so i dont get steriotyped as a lazy binge eater like an overweight person would, but thats exactly what i am. A lazy couch potato anorexic who binge eats until i make myself sick. But yeah. i'm thin. lol.

You know, I just wrote about a similiar sentiment after watching The Biggest Loser and how all these "overweight" people were running and working out vs. America's Top Model bootcamp challenge where the "skinny" people were huffing and puffing.

Can't judge a book by it's cover. At all.

I am a japanese news-wrighter. In Japan the trend is
"Men Getting Fatter, Women Getting Thinner"

During the 19 years since the previous Survey in 1979, there had been an obvious increase in the numbers in both the categories of "overweight" young men and "thin" young women...

Stereotype or not - loose weight and you will be treated better by strangers, make more money, enjoy better health and a longer life, and cost your employer less to provide health insurance.

http://www.antiagingatlanta.com

Maybe it's because of the visual aspect.. Refute me if u feel otherwise but I think Slim is much more visually appealing than Fat (at least in this age and culture), no matter how some make self-deceiving, consoling remarks such as "Big is Beautiful". I'm not saying this coz I'm thin.. I was never thin.. But there are more limitations for a fat person than a slim person.

Darwin's "Survival of the fittest"- maybe our cognition is programmed to think that a slim (not anorexic) person is a healthy, fit person and subconsciously, we search for such partners to have offsprings with, so that our next generation will survive.. Come to think of it.. if u marry a person with poor diet.. then the diet is passed on to your children.. or the "fat gene" is passed to ur children..

And Christy pointed out rightfully so..

Fat people tend to have lower self-esteem than slim people.. Sure, they smile at everyone's jokes... they are friendly to everyone.. But they're dying inside...

Frankly, they don't have to take this crap.. they don't have to be nice to everyone.. if only they were slim... but I digress..

All things being equal, would u rather want a slim person or fat person?

Anyway, I totally agree with Adam that personality cannot be determined from one's size.

I am not sure that it is a matter of judging them as being lazy...I think it may be more of knowing that as the employer you may be faced with at some point paying for what may be some very, very significant health care costs that have come from a lifetime of poor eating habits and lack of activity. Yes, there are MANY healthy overweight persons but imagine the health care costs of one SEVERLY obese person with diabetes, back problems, knee problems, foot problem...just to mention a few....very sadly this translates into mega bucks. Now..imagine that you are an employeer...while your heart may be moved to want to help these persons...if you have the choice of hiring a fit person or the person as described above, what do you owe to your stock holders? While it is sad it seems like it is just good business thinking and planning to think about hiring healthy people...ALSO (and we don't even know that this memo really exists!) I think they are not referring to simply obese people but rather the morbidly obese who are already in severe health trouble.

Oh..one more note on sterotypes...in high school I was 25 pounds overweight...the other kids made my life an absolute horror. There were times I would go and hide in the broom closet because I could not handle being picked on. Those kids made my life a living hell...after having my children I had gained quite a bit more weight to lose on top of that 25...and I DID IT...and I have kept it off all of these years..and I have excercised, walking and lifting weights...and taken wonderful care of myself...so I just went to my 30th high school class reunion built like Barbie looking closer to 38 than 48. Guess what happened...I was accused of plastic surgery...I was told that no 48 year old woman could look like THAT naturally. So you see HATEFUL people can be? If they cant be unkind for you for one reason they will find something else...it is something I will never understand. There is just a sort of individual that needs to be critical to make themselves feel better about themselves. What we look like on the outside has much to do with the luck of the gene pool. Do the best you can with your outside appearance but put everything into your heart and your soul...that is where it's at and that is what you really have to be proud of.

When I was obese, I developed an intense fear of eating or drinking anything other than water in public. If I ate a salad or had a diet soda, I'd see people roll their eyes and make comments - cause fat people are supposed to live on water until they become acceptable or die, whatever happens first, apparently.

I also remember being in a supermarket and trying to buy some canned tomatoes. My cart was already filled with my usual groceries: vegetables, staples, and some junk my husband eats (he is one of those thin people who eat crap). A guy was standing in front of the tomatoes and I said "excuse me", he looked at me, looked at my cart and said "Do you really think you need to buy or eat any more food?" I left the store and all my groceries and didn't shop again until I'd lost weight.

At a family dinner, I took my food in a tupperware to stick to my diet. I heated my "huge" tupperware with 3oz chicken, 3oz yam, and spinach and set it on a dessert plate (yeah that is how big my meal was - it fit on a tiny plate) and took it to the table. A friend of my aunt's looked at my plate and said "I thought you were on a diet". I said "I am". She said "What kind of diet is that then? Cause if I ate ALL THAT FOOD, I'd gain weight!". I didn't touch my food and went home to cry as soon as I could leave, and I still avoid contact with my family.

If these people do this under the guise of "helping" overweight people, they aren't. All they're helping is their own low self-esteem, cause they feel superior to someone now cause they are thinner.

Jan, those stories are so sad -- but so typical. In many ways I tend to think that family can say some of the most cutting remarks (and be the most obsessed). In a strange way they think they're being helpful - but their comments are really about making themselves feel better.

This is great information and great direct writing on the subject. I have a photo blog regarding my issue with my weight and the societal pressure to be thin. Check it out.
www.about2getskinny.blogspot.com

I'll definitely be back to read more! Thanks

I don't like a lot of things that are not accomodating to my size. I've been obese for longer than I can remember. I have always liked my insides, though, my head, my heart, my spitit, my talants, my skills, my personality, my contentment, and my happiness per say. Now I am getting older and want to extend my life a little longer, therefore losing weight is a necessity. I have found in any progress I do have with losing weight, it has a way in enhancing my happiness along with my numbered days. Good luck to all.

I'm in 11th grade, and I'm about 350 pounds. I'm thankful I'm 5'10" so I don't look as huge, but I am still 3 thin people in one body. I'm a stereotypical fat person in some aspects; I'm polite to everyone, I find humor in most things, and I act pretty happy. Of course, inside I'm pretty much screaming.

Surprisingly, I don't get that many fat jokes. Very surprising to me. I got quite a few in elementary and middle school, even from my friends. So far this year though, comments have really slowed down.

Instead I get glares, smirks, eye rolls, and I get ignored. Totally, completely ignored. I'm not sure if I'd rather walk down the hall being giggled at or being ignored.

I've been in yearlong classes before where I had no friends, and that whole ENTIRE year, not one of them spoke to me. They barely looked at me.

I've been in choir class for two years, I only have one friend in there and I didn't even meet her in choir. The other 30 girls ignore me.

Even other heavy people don't talk to me.. they're less heavy then me, of course, but still heavy. That really pisses me off, that they're supporting stereotypes that hurt themselves. Don't even get me started on boys; they're automatically out of the question.

I agree with Jan about the eating in public thing. If I even walk INTO the cafeteria, whether I'm going to sit with friends or just walking, I get stares and giggles and points. If I bring a sandwich or something and eat in a classroom, everyone walked by in the hallway comments on it. But then if I bring a piece of fruit or something healthy, then I feel like they're STILL laughing at me - because fatty's on a diet. The only safe thing is water.

I've got this mindset that losing weight will be like waking up one morning and everything being perfect. I can't help it, no matter how illogical I know it is. Maybe it isn't so much 'everything will be perfect' as I'll have the opportunity to be happy in some things. But I know my experiences going through this and being heavy have helped make me as accepting and openminded as I am. I know when - yes, when - I slim down and get fit, nothing will change. I will do whatever I can to fight the taunts and discrimination against heavy people. I won't be afraid of standing up for heavy people anymore, afraid I'll get laughed at and rejected. This crap just needs to end. Good luck to everyone.

I think fat discrimination is worse than racism.Because racism comes from other people,not your own people.But when you are fat,you are discriminated by your own society,your own race and even by your own relatives.This is worse.

Zeynep, I don't think it's appropriate to compare bigotry. Racism is a blight on all societies, making assumptions (usually derogatory) about people simply because of their heritage. Yes, there is discrimination about obese people, too, but also discrimination about thin people, blonde people, women in general, the side of the tracks you grew up on, etc. None of these compare to racism - racism has caused wars, death, torture, poverty, and slavery.

I'm sorry, some people are idiots. They think their comments are helpful, not hurtful. They talk without thinking and are too narcissistic to consider how they would feel if somebody said the same thing to them. High school is all about cliques and socialization, kids are determining their personalities and their attitudes through peer acceptance. They want to be as "normal" as possible, and in order to do that, they don't want to be associated with the "abnormal" kids. In high school, I couldn't care less what anybody thought about anything. I had friends that thin, obese, "burn outs," preps, etc., because I valued them for their personalities, not their physical appearance or financial resources.

But, that's not the way most people go through high school. They make friends by degrading others and maintaining shallow lives. Eventually, these people grow up and some don't mature beyond that. So, you end up with dumb***es at the grocery store commenting about other people's carts or at the family dinner table commenting about your diet and what's on your plate. My mother-in-law is a great example. She's a total narcissist, only cares about how you look if other people might see you with her. She only compliments my appearance when my overweight sister-in-law is around, even to the point of saying, "maybe you could give ____ some advice" right in front of her! Never mind that my sister-in-law has a thyroid problem and just had a baby less than a year ago!

I don't know, I'm sorry that people are such insensitive jerks, but if it wasn't about your weight, it would be about something else. It's easy for me to say, but I would just console myself by thinking about how sad must be to be stuck at that high school level of maturity, with no prospect of become a better person, just a lifetime of judging people by their appearances and thinking that they really care for your input.

-Danielle

All societies,all nations discriminate fat people.The only fat people who are respected by their own nation are sumos.I had even decided to move to the UK to avoid discrimination.But I learned later that the attitude towards fat people are bad in the uk ,too and I gave up my decision.That was a few years ago.I don't care if people accept me or not anymore,I don't need society's acception.And I have understood that I am on the right way.I just wanted to write what I've experienced.

This doesn't look like a very current board, but I too would like to share my feelings. Well, actually a story. I was at Lane Bryant, a plus size clothing store, shopping for some new jeans as I have lost 20 pounds and need a size smaller. Two little boys around age 5 were looking under the dressing room doors and saying, "I'm looking for a skinny lady. Oh! No skinny lady there." and on down the line of dressing rooms with the same comments. After about 3 or 4 minutes of this I poked my head out and said, "Excuse me, where is your mother?" and they pointed at her over at the check out. I said, "Well, I am quite confident that she would not want you be behaving this way. You are not using good manners. Please do not look under my dressing room door again" The mother, also a "fat lady", was mortified. It was hurtful because I am currently on a very strict weight loss program through my physician and losing weight very rapidly. I went there feeling awsome that I had shrunk down a size and I left feeling fat and ugly.

My step daughter, and the innocent age of 4, announced that we needed to all get our seat belts on. Just to see if she knew WHY we wear seat belts, I said, "That's right sweetie! Why do we wear our seat belts?" and she said, because if you have a car accident and don't wear one we'll fly out of the car and die. Except for you mom, your too big and you wouldn't fit through the window." I did have a little talk with her about how that isn't a nice thing to say to people. But the fact of the matter is, when your kids are telling you to do something, I think it's time!

I was only about 30 - 40 pounds over weight before I got pregnant. 3 years and 2 pregnancies later I am now 140 pounds over weight. On my small 5'1 frame, that's HUGE! My Dr. said I should be at my goal weight in less than a year. There is hope! My turning point: realizing that I can't physically do all of the things I enjoy doing now that my son is old enough for me to do them. Downhill skiing, scuba diving etc. I want to be a fun mom. Not a mom that watches the fun. And I don't want the stereo types of others to hurt my son when he hears and sees the way people treat me.

It's too bad that more people can't just mind their own business and not be so judgmental about other people. Let's face it...most of the fussing about overweight and obesity has nothing to do with concern for someone's health. It's all about looks, and creating a pecking order. A person can be large, and still be fit but people consistently refuse to believe it. There are thin people who are always ill from catching every bug that comes down the pike and whose eating habits are abysmal but no one criticizes them in the same way they do those who are perceived as too fat.

Sabrina--"There are thin people who are always ill from catching every bug that comes down the pike" Isn't that a stereotype as well? I'm thin and I haven't been sick in 5 years...coincidentally, that's when I decided to lose weight and get healthy. I think looks are part of it, but health IS a big factor as well.

I am glad that Jan posted what she posted.Fat people can never ever win I don't even bother with skinny people and weight.It is impossible to carry on a proper conversation with skinny people about weight without some BS perceptions and pre conceived notions getting in the way.I think some muscular people and overweight people are a little understanding about weight but not skinny people at all.

The problem is that basically all people deal in absolutes you are either an absolute glutton if you are fat or you are a health freak if you're thin there's no inbetween.You can't be a fat person that eats healthy or has genuinely tried to lose weight 3 4 5 times and it always comes back.If you're fat you're fat if you're thin you're thin.As for my story I am 6 3 316 I was 385 lbs a few months ago.This is my first serious diet ever and I am determined that I will go to 240 permanently.Things like what Jan said make it an absolute neccesity for me to keep my weight loss a very low key thing.Why should I tell you I'm on a diet when if you see me eating a few Pringles you'll shout at me,why should I tell you when if you don't see me exercise for 3 hrs in the gym then I'm too lazy I'm not doing enough.Yeah a fat person can only lose weight by exercising for a year or 2 or 3 straight doing 3 hrs in the gym and eating one meal a day or whatever.For the people that you tell about your weight loss they have the typical reaction but I saw you eating a handful of Pringles but I didn't see you busting your gut in the gym.If somebody says they are doing something believe them and stop doubting them until you actually see tham fail.For the people you don't tell about your weight loss why should you tell them anything.If you notice I'm losing weight you notice if you don't or refuse to believe that's your business.If you can't like me at 6 3 316 you won't like me at 6 3 240.I dress as well as any skinny guy would I walk upright with my head up I'm not gonna allow anybody to take away my happiness.

Adam said:
I hate to say this, but this is true. I have lost 32 lbs. in the last 2 months and I can see a clear difference in the way women act towards me and the way I'm treated in general shopping for clothes and going to clubs. I was 240, I'm now 208. Not too big of a change in number for a 5'11 guy, but a huge change in attitude from others.[...]

Same here, buddy.. Grew up obese, always between 230-275 and am at 175 at 5'7 and MY GOD what a difference!!! I wish I was too poor too eat when I was in High school, life would have been SOOOO much better and easier and the boys I wanted would prolly have wanted me back!!

I LOVE being thinner and PRAY with all my heart and soul that I don't get heavy again (for me, personally, nothing against fat ppl, my Mom and Sis are both morbidly obese). It's also a big deal to me that I work at Wal-Mart since I shop there and I know they'll work the SHIT out of you which will burn calories, tone muscle, not in front of a plate of food, etc. Hello?!?! It's called "WORK" for a REASON!!!!!