Teen Weight Gain Due to No Exercise

i read some of your other comments (Jan) and you said that losing 10 pounds in a month isn't healthy! no wonder everyone was so worried about me. I lost like 5 pounds in 5 days, then 10 pounds in 3 weeks, and then 10 more with in 4 more months. I do have a problem people, so please don't set this goal for yourself, it is not healthy. I lost it due to a medical condition.

sorry i am losing it today, i only lost 5 at the end, not 10

Marie, I don't think it is ever about attention, right the opposite - it is about wanting to fade away a bit, isn't it? Especially when life at home is difficult, we do feel like the best we can do is stay out of the way by fading away. The thing I found is that for whatever reasons we do not eat enough, the more we do not eat enough, the harder it becomes to eat, from a physical point of view. And when we start somehow, it just becomes easier naturally. Exercising is good, especially cause it helps you work up an appetite. It was the only time a day that even when I was sick, I found it easy to eat solid food. So try to do that and have your main meal there.

I understand what you are saying about feeling fat, it is not actually thinking you are fat, it is feeling disgusting, and being disgusted by food and associating food with feeling more disgusting. Worse is, not eating itself causes that, it is not a big psychological thing. If you fast for one day, for example, and drink a sip of low-fat milk, you'll feel the fat particles of the milk rolling about in your mouth although it pretty much has no fat in it. It will be feel like eating butter or something. Your senses get sharper when you don't eat enough, so food *does* feel disgusting, because we feel it so much more than someone who is eating normally. That is why I've been saying that just forcing enough calories down somehow, from liquids if necessary, will cure a lot of these food problems on their own, the physical ones with the act of eating. Of course, the cause of it all is still a psychological problem.

I think you have a much better understanding of things than I did at your age, and that will help you a lot in recovery. You seem to get that whatever problems go on at home are not your fault, and I didn't back then. It took me a while, longer than it took to get me eating normally. I used to think if I were only better, my life would be better. I still struggle with that perfectionism now and with the temptation to use not eating as an alcoholic uses drinking. If I have a hard day at work, I will think "If I skipped lunch, I'd be much more focused" but then at 1 pm I have my calendar beep and say "Time for lunch" and I have my lunch even if I don't want to, because that is what I know I should do. And right there is the struggle: it is admitting that I'm important enough, that I deserve to care about my health and about feeling good in the long run, and not just immediately.

I don't know if counselors who deal with ED are oblivious to this aspect of the disease, or if in most cases, they are right and the EDs are mostly about body concerns, and our cases are exceptions where the depression came first and the ED is a symptom only, but I felt in my counseling that this wasn't addressed - being addicted to not eating not just because it is a way to control your shape (I didn't care about my shape) or control your body, but also because it is like being addicted to drugs or alcohol or tobacco. It is what you do to get through the day.

Sorry I forgot the 10lb in a month thing. Yes, it is not healthy. Any more than 1% of a person's weight in a week is extreme and cause for concern, and also means the person is losing a lot of muscle, even muscle from their heart, and not a lot of fat, so it is extra dangerous.

So to all the teens out there: most of you have no weight to lose for starters. What you need to do is find a way to feel happier with your physical self, and I think taking up a sport or activity you enjoy is a great way to do that. Instead of thinking about the size of your thighs, you'll think how fast they can run or how well they can kick a ball, and that is a good thing.

For the few that do have weight to lose, talk to a doctor about it, or the school nurse, and follow good old common sense: we all know fast food and junk food are not good for you, and that meat, fruit, vegetables, chicken, grains, and dairy are. Eat those and don't eat any of the packaged junk, and also do some form of exercise or activity and you'll be fine. You'll lose any weight you have to lose.

Jan.
Wow. You describe the way i feel. But only my home life is good. I don't really have any problems there. But sometimes i do feel that i don't deserve to feel as good as everyone else. Sometimes i just want other people to feel better than me, cause they are more important. I usually exercise after supper, cause that is the meal when i eat the most, and i usually feel fat then, and then that causes me to feel mentally bad. Then after i exercise, then i drink water, but i don't usually eat that much after wards. Your totally right! It is all about feeling disgusting. I feel better if i don't eat. I feel more focused. I am glad that you turned your life around, and got better, and i am also glad that you are willing to share and help people on here. I have a very good counselor. She is very strict though. She says i should be a lawyer or attorney, cause i argue against everything she says. She specializes in ED's. I think she understands, but i don't think she realizes that how i feel is why i do what i do, not cause i think i am fat. She kind of thinks that since i tell her i feel really fat, and sometimes if i have a bad day, i call myself fat, and thats where she gets that. I am not a perfectionist, but i like other people around me to be happier than i am. My counselor calls me a people pleaser, but yet i am strong to my self. Also i never not ate. Like maybe you or some people go for days with out eating. Well my parents, no matter how depressed i was, always got me to take a few bites of something or other. I ate very little, but did not go with out eating. I have a question. Ok so they say if you lose like 22 % of your body weight your not healthy and all. So what is 22 % out of 148? I don't know how much i lost, and i want to know...percent wise. I didn't realize that losing that much weight was dangerous. I mean at the time i was so depressed i didn't really care, or take the time to even notice it in myself. I know i was skinnier, but didn't care, all i cared about, and all i do care about is how i feel.

I'd eat every day, just nowhere near enough. I'd eat 2 or 3x a day, the problem is, it was like 3 snacks, not 3 meals.

22% is 32lb. Even for someone short enough to weigh 116lb and be healthy, it should in theory take around 32 weeks to lose that in a healthy way, so like 8 months or so. Remember that it is 1% of whatever you weigh at the time, not of your original weight. It was very fast and very drastic, the weight you lost.

I know what you are saying, it doesn't even really feel like you are losing weight when you are depressed. You are just in a daze, going through the motions. I don't think you feel fat for real, I think it is just a way that the feelings you have express themselves, like a code word for what you really feel. Disgusting, inadequate, unhappy, neglected, and so on all combine to make up "fat".

Jan.
Wow, your good. But i really do feel fat. I feel very fat. I deny being skinny, cause i am not, i mean i weigh 128 pounds. I feel so fat. I am no longer depressed. I am 5 feet 7 inches, just a reminder. Ok so i didn't lose 22 % of my body weight, so why does everyone care so much!? I mean i am not skinny or anything. I would have to lose 12 more pounds to be that skinny! I don't want to be either. I don't want to lose weight, but i rather lose than gain. I never want to gain.
Is on a weekend,
skipping breakfast, eating some salad, some muffins, some cookies, for lunch, not eat all after noon, and then eat a few cookies later, and some taco salad, enough food for one day? I think so. I think it is to much. It is really? Thanks for your advice, and past experience telling. Please respond. Thank you.

i'm not sure if i'm fat or not. everyone says im really skinny, but i weigh 128 lbs and im 5'8 and i just turned 15. i gained 8 pounds in about a month which i think is too fast. is it just me growing or is it my bad diet habits causing my weight to increase? if so what is a good way to lose it.

Marie, I think people are concerned with how fast you lost it, not so much with how much you lost. And I know what you mean about not really thinking you are thin. In your case, it is the weight in pounds. In my case, it was the size of my legs. I lost the 30lb all on my top body, it seems. I was so bony there it looked scary, but my legs were pretty much the same as they've always been, so I'd have the reaction of "What the hell are these people talking about? I didn't really lose that much weight, pffft." just like you have because in pounds, your weight is still "ok". And since being "fat" is being all those things, gaining weight is becoming even *more* of all of those things, whereas losing weight is being less of those things, so of course, we prefer to lose weight than gain it. The only way to get rid of that is to deal with all those other feelings separately. Slice them up like a salami and deal with them one at a time, and remember that "fat" is not a feeling. It really isn't. Fat is a macronutrient in our food, it is part of our body composition, and it is an adjective applied to people who are overweight, but it is never, ever, a feeling. Once you think of fat as something matter-of-fact as hair color or the size of your pinky toe, it will be much easier to eat and gain the weight you need, because it is dissociated from your feelings.

When I was going through that time, my aunt told me something that helped as much as counseling or anything else. It seems pretty stupid, but here it goes. She said "I know you feel like your appearance is responsible for your feelings, and that is something you'll have to stop thinking with time, but for the time being, if you need to blame something in your body for your feelings, let's focus on your pinky finger. Just look at that! It is completely crooked! You got that from me, mine is crooked too. Awful! That is much worse than your weight; blame that for your feelings." It is completely stupid, and while I didn't actually blame my pinky finger for it, it put it in perspective and when I'd struggle to eat, I'd feel silly and remember that my weight was as likely to be responsible for my feelings as my crooked pinky finger was.

The first thing you have to do is to stop skipping breakfast. Even if it is a cup of juice, you are gonna have something for breakfast, ok? Unless that taco salad was huge, it is not really enough food for a day. It may even be close to being enough calories, but not to being enough volume of food in your stomach.

Carmen, you are indeed skinny. Your BMI is 19.5, in the very low end of normal. The reason you gained so fast is probably you had a growth spurt earlier and it took your weight a little while to catch up with your height. You are perfectly fine and shouldn't lose any weight.

Now, you said "bad diet habits", and that is not good for anyone of any weight. Try to eat the stuff you know is good for you, vegetables, fruit, meat, grains, dairy, etc. and avoid fast food/junk food/packaged food in general as much as you can.

I don't like to eat breakfast, so only when my mom forces me i eat it. I feel like i eat all the time. In a way your right, fat is not a feeling. I guess. I always tell my counselor, i feel fat, i know i am not, and she rolls her eyes at me. She just looks at me like honey, it is the same thing. I am like NO IT IS NOT!! and i get mad, cause i only feel that way, and sometimes think i am, just i know i am NOT!. okay?

Jan are my thoughts about food normal? I have been told my numerous people that they are not. Also please don't cuss. It is wrong. The above comment is to you. =]

Oh I'm sorry I cussed, I didn't notice, sorry for that.

And the reason why you know you aren't fat, but still feel fat, is because it is like a code word for other feelings. So it is a symbol for something deeper than just your body.

What is normal anyway? I'm sure they are normal in the sense that a ton of people struggle with similar thoughts... are they healthy? No, they are not, and the people telling you that are right. But I still think the food is just a tiny part of it, it is a symbol for all the other stuff.

Sorry to end this discussion - but the sheer size of this post means that comments must now be closed.