How to Write Your Own Diet Book

Ever wanted to write your own diet book? Here's how you do it.

1. Tell them who you are. It helps if you are a physician or famous.
2. Pick a catchy title (eg., eat fat and grow thin - or -Calories don't count - or- the last chance diet).
3. The readers will need a carrot and a stick. Tell them that they had better listen to you if the don't want to die young - throw all the major diseases at them plus a few that don't exist. Then tell them that you have a plan which will make them thin and improve their sex lives.
4. Present the "Master Plan". As a general rule, make the diet as unnatural and unbalanced as possible. Eggs and grapefruit are favourites.
5. Break out the textbooks and quote things out of context. Don't be shy about theorising.
6. Pad out the book with rubbish.
7. Don't overdo the exercise part - that would be too nasty.
8. Blame the victim: Diets don't fail - only people fail"!!
9. Cover yourself - somewhere, suggest that the dieter consults his/her physician before starting.

- Taken from a 6 year old university lecture.

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