Dr. Phil's Son Has a Heavy Message for Teens

My daughter is 12 4'11 and weighs 150lbs. I try to teach and show her how to eat healthy but all I get and hear is that I am picking on her and I am just like the kids in her school that makes fun of her. This is been going on for such a long time and I see that she is gaining more weight. Please help me!!! I am so worried about her heath but she feels I all I want is for to be skinny--I just don't want her to be sick and worse die from being overweight...

Sit your daughter down. I am just like you daughter. I am ll and weighs 160. Just tell her that we need a schedule. Like for a snack instead of a cookie or a candy bar eat an apple. And if that doesn't work email me at jazzc16@hotmail.com.

I would just like to say that i am 13 yrs old, 5' 7 and weight on average (I broke my leg and cannot weigh myself) 140 pounds.Most girls see others that are skinny and very athletic and want to be like that or similar to them because even i personally think that because they are "popular" and that boys are attracted to them then we have to be like that or we will not be noticed by boys and thinking that way leads to depression and as all know food is mostly the friend to comfort us. I would like to say is tell your daughter that they are beautiful and that you are concerned for her health but do it tackfully and she will most definatly agree to lose a few pounds.I do recommend either attempt to lose weight with her so she has someone to set the pace or be there for her and support her and do not be soft but understanding towards their feeling but do try to be firm with the food that might be around. Also be there if she needs emotianol help from her mother but be warned DO NOT let your daughter put herself down. I hope this will help many of you with your daughters....=)

hi.. im brandy .. i am 5'3 and weigh between 130-and 135... i wanna be thin.. i am pretty but a little chunky how do i get ride of it in my thighs and my tummy? even my calves? im starting to really be unhappy with my self and i dont feal hot anymore.. im 14 years old and i need ur help.. PLZ get back to me.. thanx

I am only 12 an I weigh 105 ibs. I don't look fat but i feel fat. and my hips are filled with fat.

Why do i feel this way???

i am 19 years old and i weigh at least 180. my biggest dream is to become a cop. But i am also big muscle like my mom. What do i do? PLEASE HELP

i'd rather stay home with a handful of twinks than go on a date with a stud

i'm 14 and i weigh 135 pounds my mom says i'm the weight i'm saposed to be, but i want be thiner i see girls walking around that are my age that have better bods than i do and i wonder why i can't have it.sometimes i think about just not eating but my parents would notice.what should i do?

Hey Hillary, whatever you do don't stop eating. I'm 19 years old, 5ft 4 and weigh 130lbs. I have been dieting for over a decade so yes since I was about 9yrs. I am still unhappy with my body but trust me when I say there are more important things to worry about. When you stop eating your body doesn't eat the fat stored up in your body, it saves it all because it knows that you are trying to starve yourself! 135LBS IS NOT A LOT TO WEIGH FOR A 14. I was bulimic for almost a year because of those girls you see who are skinny or thinner but trust me they would rather have a bit more meat on them. My sister-in-law weighs just 100lbs and she would kill to weigh 130lbs, 135lbs is fine for your age group. Just make sure you eat vegetables and fruit an hour before anything else and drink plenty of water and cut down on junk. email me at joanna_goldhagen@hotmail.com if you fancy some tips or support about being healthyXXXXXx

hi my name is briana and i am 13 years old. I am 4"10 and i weigh 110lbs.. I know that it doesnt really sound like alot but considering i am short i feel that i look very chunky. I am very unhappy with my body and when i look in the mirror i see this really nasty fat thing. i want to lose weight because im having like nightmares about the summer being in a bikini. i hate my body, what do i do?

I'm 17, 5'5 & 115lbs. 135LBS IS ALOT FOR A 14 year old. when i was 14 i was 105 or less. anyone want to email me for advice on weight loss feel free. I'm sort of obsessed with nutrition/fitness/calories...anything health related especially weight loss. email me if you need tips

baby_nads718@yahoo.com

I just want to say that I'm one of those teens who have very low confidence. I'm 16 and always walk around with my head down. It's hard to be an over weight teen these days. But it's even harder to lose the weight. I've tried all the diets, all the pills. I've tried fasting and starving. Nothing works for me. I would tell you how much I weigh but I get embarrased of that. I need some advice on losing weight. If you have had successful weight loss experiences please tell me. Email me anytime. angelgurl16@sbcglobal.net. Or if you just need to talk i'm always here with an open ear.

nadia snow; Im sure everyone can tell how obsessed you are....
135 pounds is obviously a healthy weight for the girl because it is the weight her body has settled at naturally. Age has nothing to do with it (many 14 year olds weigh that much, some much more, and some less.)
I hope you dont try to talk people into dieting and focusing on their bodies "flaws", because it becomes an obsession all too easily.
It really annoys me that you consider yourself some sort of guru on what a person should weigh....

"I'm 17, 5'5 & 115lbs. 135LBS IS ALOT FOR A 14 year old. when i was 14 i was 105 or less."

heyy i weigh 126 pounds and i want to wear a bikini for summer this year beacuse i want to have pool partys in my new inground pool and ihave never got to wear a biki im 13 years old ans the only time i wore a biki was when i was little will you please help me lose weight?!?! please get back top me of you can thank you

Hi Im a 14 yr old 5"8 and I weigh more than I want too. Im not huge but at the same time Im not comfertable with my body, I tried working out but had a problem with commitment and I tried dieting but its hard when you go to school and theres junk food everywhere.My moms doing the whole fitness thing and shes starting to lose alot of wieght, Im proud of her, and I wish I had the initiative to work as hard as she does..
Any advice for me would really be appreciated.

To Rebecca: muscle weighs more than fat. You're probably very fit.

Nadia, get some help. Seriously. To the girl who weighed 135 - if you are a size 12 or under and are healthy (i.e. you can do your share of situps, pushups, run a few laps etc.) you are fine. Don't judge your health by the scale alone. Many athletes are "overweight" or at the high end of a weight chart because of larger amounts of muscle mass than the average person. Remember, not everyone is built the same - a small boned person is going to look a hell of a lot different than a medium or large boned person of the same height.

HI... I am 14 years old 5'3'' and I weigh around 125lbs. All over my school there are skinny preety girls with really great bodies, and I want to be like them. I have tried alot of things for the past 5 months. I have started eating healthier, not eating as much, and being ALOT more active. I lost 5 pounds in 5 days(that was in Novemember) and know I am gaing weight, but I have stuck to my plan. but it isn't May as my graduation reward trip My school is going to waterworld and I want to look good in my swim suit but i feel like I am running out of time. please help me!

email me: llilchic1858@yahoo.com

Hey..im 14..im 5'9 and i weigh 190 lbs...i guess im kinda pretty but anyones gotta admit that my weight is DISGUSTING!!i did just loose 15 pounds though..i think thats because i became i vegetarian though..and i stopped eating junk..im eating pretty healthy now..but im not loosing any more weight..im very insecure about my body..i hate it and i dont want to..i really want to feel good about the way i look..i want to be able to wear a 2 piece at the beach and look and feel great..my goal is to weigh 140 lbs!..please help me..i dont want to cry myself to sleep anymore..if anyone has any tips for me, email me at suzzyshier11@hotmail.com

Madeleine:

First of all, you gotta stop thinking of yourself as disgusting. That selfimage will effect everything that you do in life.

Also, I am the same height as you and I weigh about 140 pounds. I have lost 20 pounds, and I have to let you know, life does not neccecaraly get any easier. It's hard to know when to stop. When I had reached 140, I still want to loose another 10 pounds.

Set small goals for yourself, do it 5 pounds at a time, let it take it's time, you have already lost 15 pounds which is great! Keep up the good work, you obviously know how to do it. You are only 14 years old, so adapting a healthy lifestyle rather than dieting is the best thing for you. It takes time to change your life style though and you have to allow yourself that time.

Most importantly, you can eat everything, just not all the time! You gotta enjoy life too!

Im a 13 year old girl.Im not fat but I really need a makeover.My hair is wild.frizzy.or just out of control no matter what I do to it.And its sometimes really greasy.My teeth are also kind of crooked.I also need a new wardrobe.My mom gets me things that are too young for me and I would like to dress my age.Please help me!

Hi i am 13 years old and i think i am about 5'6" maybe a little taller and weigh about 156 and i have a realy bad problem with my weight.I love to eat and i am about to try the five meals a day thing.And i get real depressed at time because i cant wear tight shirts and i cant wear two peace baithing suits .I just want to have a flat stomach but not because everyone else has a flat stomach but because i want to feel good about myself i am always buying t-shirts that are wide in the middle part.I dont like to workout alot but i make myself do Billys Boot Camp and i dont now if it is working because i am not eating right and i am drinking to much soda but i am going to try and stop.I am really picky about what i eat and my mom wont let me dring that slip fast stuff i am really depressed could somebody please please HELP ME!!!!!!!

Hi. I'm 14 and 5'3" and I weigh about 110 lbs. Sometimes less, if I concentrate hard on what I eat. All my extra weight is in my stomach, but I'm happy with my body. When I was only 13 and about 5'2", I weighed 123 lbs. This was a year ago, exactly. I was extremely unhappy with my body because I saw older girls who weighed a lot less than me, plus, I saw my stomach all the time just sagging there, and I was unhappy. Well, I knew why I was unhappy, and that was because of my weight. My mom and I cracked down on my eating and discovered tons of excess stuff I was eating that I didn't even need. I see that a lot of you who are looking to lose weight are the age I was when I started losing. So I want to give you some advice. There's no "right" way to lose weight, but it's a whole lot safer if you go naturally by dieting and exercising rather than taking pills. You don't even have to diet--I needed to get down to 107 lbs, and I did by simply cutting calories--just drinking diet instead of regular, lots of water, and eating fewer snacks after school. I also learned to control my hunger--only to eat when I'm hungry, rather than whenever I want to eat food. And I will admit that I was upset when I learned I needed to lose weight, but I admire all of you for already knowing and trying to do something about it. My motivation was knowing that when I was slim, I would be able to wear tight shirts and bikinis. Still, though, I'm much slimmer than some of my friends, and I can't wear anything I want, so if you lose the weight and discover this, don't be discouraged--it just means you've done what you need to and you've got a normal body. This is so common! And tight shirts aren't everything. I used to wear them a lot but discovered they're not my style; I like t-shirts a lot better. But it's all up to you--I think it's most rewarding for someone who's lost the weight than for someone who's naturally skinny. As for immediate results, when I shed the pounds, even right away my body wasn't very shaped, but it takes some time for your body to get used to its new weight, and in time, shape will come and your face will slim out, too. That was one of my biggest differences--my face's size. Either way, after you're down to your goal weight, you can pretty much eat normally--which will have a new definition after eating that way all those months. As for you girls, I'm not recommending you to slim down to 110 lbs--my doctor told me to since I've got a certain body type. The ideal weight for a thirteen-year-old (I'd say) is around 120 or 125 lbs. But that's me--many of my friends are 150 lbs or 130 lbs and still perfectly beautiful. I hope I've helped at least a little!

Hello everyone. I've read all of the posts above and I must admit that I am deeply troubled for most of you. I was put on my first diet at 9 years old - I am 34 now. When I was your age I weighed 135 lbs and I thought I was enormous. Looking back on that now, I'd remove my skin if I could weigh that now. I'm 5'2" tall. What you young ladies fail to realize, is that you are currently in puberty. Once your homones balance out, you will begin to develop a waistline and hips - what they call womanly curves. There's nothing wrong with that because women ARE women - not young boys. Right now, most of your weight is stored around the middle and you, perhaps, view yourself as larger than you really are. Also, due to the amount of sodium in most pop and snacks, it is also my guess that you are retaining water, which adds to the pounds that appear on the scale.

Please take what I'm saying to heart because I only want to save you from what I went through. Take the suggestions given by some of the other people who posted and try and eat more healthily. Choose fruit instead of chocolate. Choose flavored water instead of pop. Choose to pack your lunches instead of buying them at school. Eat smaller amounts of food more often. Just little tiny differences that will help you learn a healthy eating style rather than putting yourself on some rigid diet. I say this because if you start obsessing with the "I want to look like her" thoughts now, the chances are, you will start to mold your brain into having all sorts of hangups about food and leave yourself open for an eating disorder or two that will plague you for the rest of your life.

You have GOT to realize that people are all built differently. Some girls are born with tiny bone structures, they can eat whatever they want and they don't gain an ounce. Kylie Minogue is a good example. Everyone praises her for her great body, but I guarantee she doesn't have to work THAT hard to keep it. She has never been fat a day in her life. I call those kind of women "fairy built". But, most other girls are born having to watch what they eat and with a few 'squishy' spots here and there. This is NORMAL. Just lighten up on yourselves and if you are so concerned that it interferes with your daily life, go see your doctor. He or she will be able to tell you if you are at a weight appropriate for your height AND AGE! If they see a reason for you to slim slightly, they will provide you with a safe way to do it, not a fad diet.

And just as a sidenote.. it has taken me many years to realize it, but the body is not the most important thing. The mind is. If we all spent as much time learning as we did worrying about our physiques, we'd probably all be geniuses. There is no need to force yourself to grow up quicker than necessary. So you can't wear the tight top. Well so what? It isn't necessary to show everyone what you've got. Instead, leave something to the imagination! It's about class, not trash.

Anyway, I hope this helped somehow - that was my only intention. I wish you all the best.

~Ali

Hey everyone. My name is Emily.. i am 5'5" and i weigh 215 pounds. No joke. I am 16. It's extremely hard to lose the weight.... it sure takes time. I was at 180 about a year and half ago. I hit some down times and food became comfort, just as any normal teenager it was something easy to make me feel better. Now, i've tried every sport imaginable thinking i'd lose a few pounds here or there, and i lost some, but after the sports season, i'd gain it back again. I did track in my 8th grade year, and i ran sprints in the meets. Now for my size, i was fast. Odd right?... Im currently on a diet now, and it's just a diet of taking away all fried foods and pop... all except diet pepsi/diet coke... and most junk foods. But since I'm a normal teenager that's hard. The pop isn't a hard thing to forget but the junk food.. that's another story. Im sittin at my computer desk right now... looking at what i just ate, and i had a chocolate ice cream cup, without even thinking about it. What does that tell you? For 2 weeks straight i ate salads, and grilled chicken, and eggs, and some things my parents made for dinner that were healthy, along with fruits and veggies. But Easter came along, and i spent a few days with my cousin, who are DEFINITELY not health food type of people. So my planned ruined there. Eating that food made me have a taste for it again and now, i find myself eating it again. It's so hard to break habit. I am a pretty girl, but some people can't get past my weight. If you ask any of my friends, i have a GREAT personality, and I think i do too, but it's hard being me and being so overweight. If any one has any tips or anything please please please feel free to email me, or IM me or something... because it'd be appreciated. Also, if any one needs to talk, you can email or IM me just the same. THANK YOU..

Emily

sugar_n_spice2297@hotmail.com

Hi my name is dan I am 14 and I Am 5'11" And I weight 185 lbs what can I do to lose weight. I play basketball everyday but I want to lose weight faster. Back in 6th grade I ran cross country.

Dan, my name is Emily.. i posted the one above yours.... for being 5'11" and 185... isn't that bad!..it all depends on your body structure.... losing weight isn't a fast thing.. believe me.. you could try counting the calories you eat... because if you eat more then you spend... then you'll gain weight... basketball is a good active sport, but it'll only help you maintain your weight and not lose any, especially if you don't eat healthier.Cross country is a VERY good activity to be involved in it gets your stamina and cardio system working, you could try running by youself on a tredmill, or even outside!!.. Hope i helped.. email me if you need anything else!... sugar_n_spice2297@hotmail.com

Im 13 years old and I'm 5'2..i went on a no eatting strike and i weight about 107 is this normal b/c i have a lot of people tell me im fat...

hey i have a question please help me.
okay i weighed 150lbs and after my monthly period i decided to eat healthier but i didnt cut anything our of my diet i just used smaller portions.but after my next period i drastically dropped to 140lbs after my period. I dont know why can you help me i dont know why i lost 10lbs in a month and my next period is coming up will i lose another 10lbs?
help email me at gator_alligator10@hotmail.com
Jessica

I came across this site while doing a project for a class. We had to talk about proper dieting. I'm 21 yrs old but for as long as I can remember, I've obsessed about my weight. My freshman year of college I developed an eating disorder. I always compared myself to other girls all the time. My friends would tell me I looked fine, guys would ask me out, but I just couldn't understand why I felt I was so fat. I went to counseling and got help and I realized that before you can fix the outside, you gotta fix what is inside. You could be a size 2 and still hate how you look. And yes, my mom used to tell me that and I would roll my eyes and tell her if I was a size 2... I'd never complain. But it really is true... you have to love yourself for you... and if you do that... everything else will work out. I almost killed myself trying to look perfect... it's not worth it. And those that truly love you, they will love you for who you are... not what you look like. As I read what all of you have said, I can sympathize... I've felt that way. And to be honest, I am still having to work at taking care of my body the right way. I tend to get obsessed with working out. I know it's hard, but you can lose the weight and do it in a healthy manner. It just takes discipline. Something I'm still working on, but once you do it... healthy living becomes your lifestyle... and it's totally worth it. It's not about looking perfect... or hot... it's about loving yourself and being healthy. If any of you need to talk... my email is MandaNicole2023@yahoo.com I'd be happy to talk to you more.... even share some of my personal experience with this. I hope you all do well and I wish you luck. Take care.

Emily:

"you could try counting the calories you eat... because if you eat more then you spend... then you'll gain weight..."

That's not really true. Everybody requires a certain amount of calories per day for bodily functions. This amount is based on age, height, level of activity, and some genetics. For most people this amount is between 1600-2500 calories per day with 2000 being the average.

So if a person who needs 2300 calories eats a 1500 calorie diet, he or she will have a 800 calorie deficit which your body will take from your lipid (fat) stores and you will lose weight. Any moderate physical activity makes the deficit even higher. I.e. if you also burned 300 calories from biking, you would have a 1100 calorie deficit (800 + 300). Also, most weight loss usually occurs 3-4 days after the incident that caused it. So, if you exercise on Monday, the weight you lost won't show up completely until Friday. Any immediate weight loss that you see is from water or nutrient loss. Unfortunately, weight gain is a lot faster, that is why a lot of people can't seem to lose weight. If you exericise for 3 days and lose 5 lbs., then slack off on the 4th day and gain 4 lbs., the total weight loss will only be 1 pound.

I also wanted to add that studies have shown that people who lose weight too fast (5-10 lbs. per week) also lose part of their internal organs as well. That is why diet pills and starvation can be really unhealthy in the future.

I know it's confusing, but basically the main point is that weight loss takes time, and anything that doesn't take time is unhealthy.

Hey I'm 14 years old and about 5'5. I weigh around 121 lbs. Is that chubby? I dunno, but my stomach sticks out a lil...

I'm 13, 5'9, 133. I can run a 6 minute mile and bench 100 pounds. You fatasses just go and workout bitch

Okay Dennis, that was EXTREMELY rude... and absolutely UNCALLED for... if you think you are soo friggen great then why were you on this site..? anyway, im sure all of us here didn't appreciate that comment.... **i hope your fat sometime in ur life!!!**

hi my name is lisa im 13 years old and im 5'3 and im 90 pounds. my ribs are big and i look bigger becuase there ther and the stick out and pll say im sucking in bt im not and then i have like flabby skin on my stummick and the sides on my hips how do i get rid of it? i do marital arts everday of the weeek and im going for my black belt in 2 weeks and it hasent done anythign to help. i need help to get rid of it befir the bikins come out!

Hey to all of you girls who want to lose weight. Whatever you do, please make sure you are doing it in a healthy way. Starving yourself or "fasting", throwing up, and other ways of losing weight are extremely unhealthy and will leave you looking scrawny, sickly, and most of the time don't help you lose any weight at all. I am 18 and weigh 120 lbs. I eat a lot of food but most of it is very healthy. I recommend packing your lunch for school or work, bring a sandwich, a piece of fruit and a veggie. Eat until you are full and then stop. Make sure you drink lots and lots of water because often girls think they're hungry when they are really just thirsty. DO NOT DRINK SODA!!! It's horrible for you! Monitoring what you drink is very important for healthy weight loss. Try to excercise about 5 times a week for around 1/2 hour to an hour and make sure 3 of those times you are getting cardio vascular excercise, doing something to get your heart rate up. Some good excercises are: swimming laps, taking a walk, and jump roping. (Swimming and jump roping are great cardio excercises!) You are all beautiful so don't do anything to harm your bodies!

Dennis your comment was extremely uncalled for. This website is supposed to be for comfort not criticism!!! as my mom says ''if you ain't got nothing nice to say don't say anything at all''. Dont u realize u could push people to starving their selves so you know what she also said ''people who make fun of others are just insecure their selves.''

Ok. I told myself that no matter how bad I was tempted, I would not post twice today. But...
First of all for Dennis. I relieze that you are only a baby being 13 and all, so some very infantile things will come out of your mouth from time to time. But listen little man, if this is your view of women, I'm afraid you will be very lonely for along time. It's "little boys" like you that give our beautiful girls above a distorted view of themselves.
For the young girls above. You are beautiful just how you are. Some of you are smaller than others, but as you grow into women your bodies will change. You will grow taller, your body will change. The main thing you should be concerned of with your weight is eating foods that are healthy, and that you enjoy. Make eating fun, eat what you like, just make sure it's little portians. You can never loose weight or develope good eating habits if you are not allowed to eat the things you enjoy.
Also, another thing I would like to share. I was 5'4 128 at 16. I cried to my Mother who I thought was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. All the popular girls were size 1 and skin and bones. She grabbed me up and forced myself to look at my body in the mirror. She explained that not all girls will be small, not all girls will be sticks and bones. And that most "Men" prefered curves. She told me to own my fears and my body. To set some goals, for my mind and stop thinking about how I look so much.
Basically she told me I was beautiful in my way........not Kelly Meads way, and that I was my own person. And you know that she was right! I did grow I did change, and you will to. but even now with your tiny tummy's pouching out and that little bit of baby fat, you still beautiful. YOu should know that everyday. Just because the boys don't talk to you as much now means nothing. When you get older, and the skinny girls have to stuff their bra's and have no butt to shake on the dance floor, the guys will be talking to you. I promise, just give it some time.