I was completely shocked and horrified when I came across an article recently in BBC News, stating some parents are attributing their children’s dietary foibles to an eating disorder, rather than simply bad behavior.
In the interview, Dr Su Laurent discusses how she spends a significant amount of her clinical time seeing healthy young children whose parents are convinced their child has something seriously wrong with them.Some parents believe their child has an inability to swallow solids, others think their child will fade away unless offered the few foods they like, while other parents say their child eats “nothing”, despite the fact they are consuming a packet of “Wotsits” in front of the good doctor’s eyes!
The fact of the matter is, it’s much easier for many parents to believe there is something medically wrong with their child, than that they have a behavioural problem. But in truth, from a very young age children have an amazing ability to get what they want, and food is just one of the things they use to do that.
Obviously this cannot be said for all children, and some do genuinely have a medical concern.
But, sadly many parents struggle through mealtimes, sitting for what feels like hours waiting for meals to be finished, or resorting to force-feeding as a result of extreme frustration. Others cave in to the child’s demands, and the result is a very limited, unhealthy diet. Not ideal scenarios by any stretch of the imagination!
Should you be concerned about your picky eater?
It appears to be all a matter of interpretation – a study published in the Journal of American Dietetic Association found that although the percentage of children identified as being “picky eaters” by their caregivers was high, both picky and non picky eaters met, or indeed exceeded, the current age-appropriate energy and dietary recommendations.
Here are 10 ways to deal with your picky eater?
- Focus on making meals and snacks healthy and nutritious, rather than offering processed junk foods.
- When introducing new foods (as many as 8 to 15 tasting opportunities may be required before the food is accepted), offer just one or two at a time, and present them in small quantities, giving second helpings if requested.
- Make ‘taking a bite of everything on my plate’ or ‘sitting at the table until I’m finished’ categories in your child’s reward scheme.
- Don’t punish your child for refusing to try new foods.
- Get your child involved in choosing and preparing food (if age appropriate).
- Try to make eating at the table a fun family time, rather than a stressful time.
- If they refuse to eat main meals, resist temptation to give unhealthy snacks before the next meal, and try to avoid keeping unhealthy snacks in the home. This way when they do eventually get hungry the only option will be a healthy snack.
- Check your attitude to food – your child may pick up on any negativity you have towards food and eating.
- Stop any force-feeding.
- Experiment with different methods and styles, for example many children don’t like cooked vegetables, but may eat raw vegetables served with a tasty dip.
Remember, if your child refuses to eat a carrot it doesn’t mean they have an eating disorder…the last thing our children need are more labels!
Do you think toddlers and their food-fads are indulged too much? How should fussy eaters be dealt with in your opinion?
I also have a 2 year old that weighs 10kg and doesnt’ want to eat. The pediatrician also says she will eat when she is hungry, which I agree, but she will go hungry for hours and then still eats picky, so it makes it worse and more stressfull for her. I also have tried every thing there is to do to encourage her to eat. She had reflux when she was born and since then she doesn’ like food much.She is the only one at the cresche that does not it her food,and when we get home she is so hungry. She certain foods only, for ex, fish,chcken nuggets,rice, porridge and bread(only with bovril)& Provitas/cheese. That’s it. I am very worried and dont know what to do, she is very sensitive,. I would appreciate if someone can give a word of advice…
I went through my pediatrician. It was also suggested to go to the early childhood center through our local school district as they will do some work with this area as well. We have not chosed to do that at this time as we are pleased with what is happening. I am not sure if they require a doctor’s recommendation or not.
I would suggest that if you are not getting support from your current doctor go to another one. Not sure where you are located but I would think you could find some info online or see if there is an eating clinic in your area. We do ours through a children’s clinic that does OT, PT and speech. Good Luck!
I have a 20 month little girl. I can’t get her to eat I have tried all the tricks I can think of from nothing else to limiting her fluid intake. I have talked to her pediatrician and he says when she gets hungary enough she will eat. I don’t buy that. Can someone tell me what to do?
I also have a two year old that has basically refused to eat much of anything for the last year. We finally got her off her milk bottle (which was a complete battle in and of itself) but she still seems to never be hungry. And now she throws up if I make her take a bite of something that isn’t chips, or hot dogs, or some other form of junk food. She’s very tall for her age (wearing 5t clothing already) and weighs about 35-36 lbs, and is very active. I’m just really worried about the gagging and lack of nutrition. I was told every time I took her to see the doctor last year that kids just didn’t eat much at that age because they were’nt growing much… However, she’s grown over 7 inches from her 1st birthday so I have to wonder if the medical advice holds any merit at all. We strive to eat healthy food (although it’s hard!)and I make a lot of food with fresh garlic…but even when we eat McDonalds she barely takes two bites:-( I’m really at my wits end, and she’s rubbing off on her younger sister now….
hi janis , so far your comment is the most relevant to my situation…my two yr old is also very weak and weighs 10 kgs.. and i am sure he has ‘food anxiety’, i think it might be becasue he has had diarrhea many times in the last year and we have found out he is intolerant to milk protein. so who is the bvest professional to consult- early childhood nurses and peateatricians haven’t been of much use until now
You do these days and people will call CPS on you. Sad, but that’s our society. Gone to the dogs.
This is all great advice, however, if you are concerned talk to your doctor. We thought our eldest child was a super picky eater. We tried everything. Finally went to see the doctor who, after seeing that she weighed 1.5 lbs less then she did a year ago sent us to see an OT. She has been tested and is currently in treatment for an eating disorder. They recently tried pasta with her. She played with it for a while with her fingers but once it touched her lips she threw up instantly. She has some severe sensory issues with her eatingas well as what they call food anxiety. They believe this stems from her having a stomach virus three times in a short period of time where she vomited multiple times in a short period of time.
After three months of therapy we have seen small steps of improvement. While she isn’t trying a lot of new foods yet she will at least tolerate them on her plate and even took a bite off of a carrot. She spit it out right away but it’s a huge step!
Rule out iron deficiency anemia.
hi, i have a two year old who lives on a tiny piece of watermlon and a ice block in 24 hours.she weighs 10 kgs and we are worried.she wants to eat but cant ,she gags and chokes on anything else.
any ideas
Here’s one I recently tried and my kids eat it up! Slice and cut up a zucchini, summer squash (both the green and yellow kind) and crook neck squash. In a non-stick frying pan, heat a small amount of olive oil, add the cut up veggies, sprinkle with a generous portion of McCormicks Vegetable Supreme (I use about a tbsp). Stir every few minutes. Remove from heat when the veggies are crisp tender (about 10 minutes or so, I think). I normally serve veggies without added flavorings, but this dish is superb and very kid-friendly.
We do this, and it works like a charm. I also find it depends on how hungry our kids are at dinner. If they’re “starving” and about to “die”, they eat really well. If they’ve eaten a snack within an hour of a meal, then it’s a bit more of a struggle. Bottom line, I will not make alternate dinners, unless we’re having something totally non-kid friendly, which is rare, since I don’t have that kind of time, and they will eat a good portion of their dinner before they can have a treat. They will nearly always eat the fruit I provide them and a lot of times will ask for it on their own. Yeah!
I’m always amazed how many of my kids friends are so picky-all they’ll eat is chicken nuggets and hot dogs. Yuck! Our friends are always surprised at how my kids will eat a variety of food. I’m amazed that our friends will make 2 or 3 different dinners in the same night to satisfy their kids. It’s ridiculous! They don’t realize that this creates their picky eater.
I totally agree. i remember growing up my mom made great dinners but if it was food i did not like i did not have to eat it. I was told to make somethingi liked for myself or not eat. Most importantly she never forced me to eat anything i did not like or “clear” my plate of food. That is probably a contributing reason to why i have never struggled with my weight, i learned to stop eating when i was satisfied and never felt guilty leaving half a plate of food on the table.
My tip is making sure they are hungry. Obvious I know!
If you want to try a new meal, if they are hungry they will eat it. Making clear that this meal is all there is! Don’t let your kids snack too much in the afternoons and run them around for a good hour outside. Come dinner time they are starving and will eat what’s on their plate. 
You may have to listen to a few whinny “I’m hungry Mum” while your cooking but that gets them in the kitchen to see whats for dinner and help.
OK, here is one where we agree! I have had to limit my serving size due to that gas BUT I love it so I will not give it up!
Kids these days are so spoiled…it makes me sick. Kids don’t know what they’re supposed to eat; they’re KIDS. If they could eat pizza and ice cream all day long, they’d be in hog heaven. That doesn’t mean that that’s what you feed them. Barry’s got it right: Give your kids a decent, well-balanced meal and if they don’t eat it, they don’t eat that night. They’ll eventually decide that they want to eat and not starve to death.
When we were kids, my dad was so adamant about not raising picky eaters. We had a vegetable garden and I remember picking green beans and eating them for dinner. I used to eat ripe tomatoes like apples. Kids aren’t the ones buying the food and putting it in the cart…adults need to put their foot down and say the word “NO” every once in a while.
And that’s the way that a parent should handle it: the child eats what is put in front of him or her. If he or she gets hungry, dinner will eventually be eaten; if he or she wants to be stubborn, one missed dinner won’t do any harm and the lesson that the parents will follow through will be learned.
To your comment below, if parents model behavior that vegetables are tasty on their own, kids will follow. That’s the way my family was, vegetables were served without salt, pepper, butter, or oil, for the most part (I can’t think of any exceptions, but I’m sure there were some very rare ones). Usually steamed or raw, unless it was sweet pickled cucumbers and onions, which were only ever served in the summer when we had our own cucumbers. Now, adding any sort of fat to vegetables makes them taste disgusting, to me. So you could probably get a kid to eat more bitter vegetables like broccoli, brussels sprouts, and cooking greens plain when mixed with sweeter vegetables like carrots or starchier vegetables like sweet potatoes. Taste adaptation.
Oh great! Now I’m craving BOTH those cereals! Barry, you’re a bad, bad man. LOL!
Another way to get kids to eat veggies is to put (GASP!!!) butter and salt on them.
I know, butter is “bad for you”. Hogwash.
What for? My boys get to eat fruity pebbles or cap’n crunch for one breakfast on the weekend. There’s nothing wrong with sugary cereals in moderation.
Kashi gives me BAD gas.
People are idiots. Our two boys, ages 4 and 2, are given a dinner that inclues a lean protein, veggies, and a piece of fruit.
Often times the 4 year old whines that he doesn’t like what he’s been served.
Guess what? He’s told that’s dinner and if he doesn’t like it he doesn’t have to eat it but that he will not get anything else.
Surprise. He eats the food.
We follow the one bite rule.
My eldest loves salmon, she’s 6. She used to detest broccoli, and will now eat it and ask for seconds.
She’s not going to starve if she skips a meal because she’s playing games. I always make sure that I serve at least one thing that I know she loves. She will of course all of a sudden start to dislike a vegetable that, until then she loved intensely.
My three year old on the other hand, I’m sure survives on rainbows and kisses, because she hardly eats. I leave a plate out of fruit and will add cheese and meat to it through the day, as well as crackers and the like. It disappears. She’s just too busy to eat on “our” schedule. Which is OK. Then of course, she’ll plow through several servings of lunch out of the blue.
Really, parents are supposed to be parents, not their children’s best friends. Being a good parent often means not making them happy. I know I remember (not as a toddler, but a bit older) not being able to get away with skipping vegetables at dinner. No matter what, we always had broccoli, green beans, or peas (which I know is debatable). And I always had to have some, no matter how much I didn’t want any because that was the standard my parents set.
A child who will only eat candy or sweetened cereal is responding to the pleasurable “sweet” signals those things set off and the parent is giving in.
Due to temporary insanity, I used to feed my toddler Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks. He’d obviously insist on nothing but cereal. Then I got wise and starting buying ONLY adult healthy cereals. Toddler adapted, now he’s eating Kashi.
I do admit to threatening him over a piece of chicken once. He ended up liking it and ate mine too. Been eating it ever since.